8
LOREN
The next week passed in a blur, and despite the new knowledge I had, nothing seemed to have changed, which was a relief. Jude and I spent our week going about our routine, and when Friday night rolled around, I found myself spending it between Wells and Monroe again. Waking up with them both was becoming one of my favorite ways to greet the morning.
“Good morning,” I yawned, wiping the sleep from my eyes. Monroe smiled, kissing me before he climbed out of bed, putting on some plaid pajama pants.
“I’ll be right back. I need to grab Levi from his sleepover. On second thought,” he said, giving me and Wells a look. “I’ll make some breakfast and you two can have some time together.”
I blew him a kiss, snuggling up to Wells, not minding the plan at all. I enjoyed discovering a sweeter side to Surly I hadn’t witnessed yet. I laid on his chest, listening to his heart for a while before he spoke, moving me up toward him, sharing a pillow.
“Do you know how incredibly beautiful you are? Sometimes I look at you, and my breath gets caught in my throat,” Wells whispered, smoothing my hair back as he peered at me. Our faces were so close, our noses practically touched as we laid side by side.
“I think you got hit in the head more than you realized sparing with Nicco.” Wells had been training all week, determined to be in the best shape so he could fight again next month.
“Stop, don’t dismiss your beauty, Kitten. I don’t say things only to make you feel better. I mean what I say. You should know that.”
I watched his dark eyes as the pupils flicked back and forth between mine, and eventually, I nodded. “I’m not trying to say I’m not pretty. It’s just, no one’s ever looked at me like you are. I don’t like to admit my ex-husband and mother got into my head, making me feel worthless. I’m supposed to be above it all. I’m a therapist, for fuck’s sake.” I sighed in defeat, ducking my head a little, not comfortable with his intense glare. Wells didn’t let me hide, though, pushing my chin up, holding it in his grasp.
“Do you think doctors never get sick? Or that athletes never miss their shot? Or that bankers never miscount? Hmm?” His eyes drilled into me, waiting for me to respond, and I knew he wouldn’t let go until I did. Huffing, I sighed, accepting what he was getting at. “No, I don’t.”
“Your job is something you do, not who you are. I had to learn that the hard way.”
“Will you tell me about it one day?”
“Yeah, one day. I’m still trying to come to terms with it myself.”
“Thank you for reminding me I’m more than just a therapist.”
“Oh, Kitten, you’re so much more. Maybe I should give you a visual to help you remember.” He lowered his head, kissing along my collarbone, and I was lost to his touches.
As much as I enjoyed discovering this new sweet side, I loved our banter. It wasn’t pointed or mean anymore, but fun, and I liked that. It helped me use my assertiveness and find my voice, something I found all the men were doing in different ways.
Wells brought out the sassy woman I never knew I could be. Sax made me feel like fire and stirred an insatiable need to uncover hidden desires. Nicco had a unique way of making me feel beautiful in my own skin and showed me how to ask for what I wanted. Monroe was my comfort and someone I could relax my walls with in a way I’d never been able to before. And well, Atticus, I was finding he was my backbone. He showed me how to stand up and demand things, his bossy nature a front for how he protected those he loved.
I didn’t know how I ended up in this position with five guys wanting me and willing to share, but I wasn’t going to question it. For once in my life, I was entirely in control and I liked the direction it was headed, which led to tonight. Anxiety crawled up my throat when I let myself think about this evening, and all it could entail. Not only would I be on a date with Atticus, but I would finally discover all the hidden secrets I’d been ignoring, or to be honest, unwilling to see.
Tonight, I would no longer be able to hide behind my ignorance. No mask could conceal the truth when it was laid out in front of you. Everything had limits, and I was at mine.
Now I just hoped I could handle whatever it was they shared.
I knew I was ready. I’d accepted that when I’d pulled the string, and I knew nothing in life was black or white. I could see that more clearly now than ever before. In this moment in Wells' arms, I realized my anxiety wasn’t about what I would learn, but whether or not I would care.
I was in so deep with these men, I didn’t think anything would make me walk away, and for some reason, that was more terrifying than any truth they could tell me. I was falling in love with them, and that meant I could get hurt.
But the reality was, I’d risk it all to be with them, betting I was strong enough to withstand it.
* * *
“Lor, are you ready to go?”Jude asked, stepping into my room.
“Hm, yeah.” I nodded, looking over my shoulder at him. He’d spent most of the morning finalizing things at the center. Atticus had allowed Imogen to help, so they’d been able to spend all morning working together. I was pleased Atticus was taking my advice to heart and letting her be more of a teenager.
Stuffing the last of my clothes into a bag, I heaved it up onto my shoulder, walking out of the room with him. We were getting ready at the Masters' place, and I’d packed us both a bag for later, assuming we’d end up there after the party and it was better to be prepared.
Grabbing his arm, I walked with him out of our apartment, locking everything.
“You excited about tonight?” I asked, as we headed to the elevator. He nodded, thinking it over.