The moment her dark chocolate eyes met mine, I had to reign in my desire. This woman continued to barge into my world like a storm cloud, no inclination of the danger awaiting her. Part of me liked the fact she wasn’t scared of me anymore. It said something about the growth she’d had over the past months. She held her head high, her eyes boring into mine, staring at me straight on. Mrs. Carter was no longer flustered by my presence, and I didn’t like what it meant.
If she started to fit into my world, I would get ideas. And the last thing I needed was for my thoughts to take off running along with my libido. A woman comfortable with this life wasn’t anything more than a death sentence. Jaz had been a prime example of how being born into the criminal underground didn’t make you safe.
She was and would always be a liability. Nothing more. The fact she no longer feared the danger around her only strengthened my resolve to keep her at arm’s length, no matter how much I craved her.
No one else in my life seemed to understand the risk or care about the consequences. Their constant fighting me on allowing her in had become tiresome, and I’d finally caved. If only to keep the family’s weaknesses closer, and I could counteract any attacks made. It didn’t mean I liked it or agreed with them, but the connection she had with Sax, Nicco, and Immy was too strong now. If I continued to push them away or deny them access to her, I’d create more discord in the family, weakening us even further. Thus, I had to be more innovative, more strategic in my moves. Which meant covering my bases and ensuring all assets were secure and ignoring how herass made my pants tight, my dick weeping for her.
Instead, I needed to focus on what lay ahead.
As long as she continued to be helpful, I would protect her. At some point, though, even my protection wouldn’t be enough. I only hoped they were all ready to deal with the cost of their choices.
Because there would be a cost. They were ignorant if they believed otherwise.
I wouldn’t risk everything for Sax and Nicco to wet their dicks. I wouldn’t even do it just so Immy had a confidant. I wasn’t against those things, or even her, for that matter. I liked Mrs. Carter and enjoyed her company, something I found lacking in most women, but my family’s safety was my number one concern, and I’d do anything for the people I cared about.
So, for now, I had to figure out a way to include Mrs. Carter without losing everything else in the process. Maybe most importantly, my own heart.
“Mrs. Carter, how is your job going?”
The radiant woman across from me appeared amused at my question, her brow quirked as the corner of her lips lifted up. “It’s going well, thank you for asking.”
She lifted a fork up to her mouth, and I couldn’t help but be mesmerized for a second as I watched her red lips wrap around the tines. My fingers tapped on the table, the only sign I was struggling with my emotions.
“Very good,” I managed to utter. “How are you recovering after the bombing?”
I knew it was a shitty thing to ask, reminding her of the traumatic experience and how everyone left her, but it was reactive, a way for me to regain control. The kick I felt next to me alluded to Sax not liking my line of questioning either, my attempt to dominate the conversation not going unnoticed by him. I lied to myself that I did it to test her, to ensure she could handle things. But it was a lie.
“Oh,” she started, stunned at the question, her face dropping slightly as she appeared to be transported back there for an instant, but just as quickly, she regained her composure. Her eyes lifted to mine again, no ounce of the fear present now. “As you can see, my cast is gone, and I had to do some physical therapy. But I’m finally getting back to where I was stamina-wise. I still have some pain every now and then, but I would say, all in all, I’m recovered.”
She went to take another bite, but I found myself wanting to poke her again. I wanted to believe it was still about testing her, but something deep down had roared to life, and I didn’t want to acknowledge it. “And what about from the bombing itself? That had to be a traumatic experience?”
She stiffened, along with my cousin. He narrowed his eyes at me as I watched her swallow. To my surprise, she didn’t withdraw into herself but answered quietly, “I’m getting there with that one.”
“Hm.”
The glares I received around the table from four men as she dropped my eyes and went back to eating had me ending my interrogation. The rest of the meal remained subdued, free of conversation. The only sound that could be heard was the scraping of forks on plates.
When Immy was done, she spoke up, her anger directed at me with a scowl. If she were a cartoon, she’d have smoke coming out of her ears. I couldn’t help but smirk at her attempt to be threatening, which only pissed her off more. “Attie, I don’t appreciate how you’re speaking to my friend. You said you would try, so try harder. Jude and I will be taking our dessert to the theater room. Next time, I expect you to be nicer.” She threw her napkin down, pushing back her seat and grabbing Jude’s hand. He briefly looked at Loren, who dipped her head before he stood.
“I’ll text you when I’m ready to leave.”
“Okay,” he replied, nodding.
Imogen tugged him over to the buffet the servers had placed dessert on. I didn’t miss how Imogen didn’t let go of the boy’s hand or how their fingers laced together, faces flushed. She grabbed a plate and handed it to him before grabbing another, attempting to bolt quickly from the room.
“Immy,” I barked, her whole body freezing at my tone. “Remember what we discussed.” She didn’t turn, but her shoulders relaxed when I didn’t scold her. Assenting to my request, she didn’t turn back but made her way out of the room. I’d wanted to reprimand her. The urge my father had instilled in me to demand respect triggered, but my love and respect for her won out in the end. Plus, I was secretly proud of her for standing up for what she believed in. Immy needed to be able to do that to survive.
She still had nightmares. Though she’d stopped telling me about them. Her screams, however, echoed over our floor, a reminder of what she’d endured. Each one ricocheted inside me, a knife to my heart, reminding me of what trust in the wrong person had gotten me. My only solace was Immy becoming stronger, and I convinced myself that keeping her nightmares to herself was a sign of her strength. She wanted me to know she could handle it, and I admired her tenacity because no matter what our life became from this point forward, she would need it.
The brother in me wanted her to remain the bright and hopeful girl I’ve known, not becoming jaded by the darkness around us. I wanted a way for her to be both—resilient and optimistic.
Sitting back, I crossed my arms as I surveyed the table. I watched as dessert was placed in front of everyone, my observation making a few of them squirm, especially the two outsiders. Internally, it made me smile, knowing I affected them. Once the waiters were clear of the room, I nodded to the two guards remaining. They shut the doors, taking a position in front of them, blocking them so no one could enter.
Glancing at the plate in front of me, I was pleased when I found fluffy meringue and lemon. Lifting the fork to my mouth, I paused, distracted by the enchanting temptress across from me. A quick glance told me I wasn’t the only one watching, as every man’s eyes were focused on Mrs. Carter. Her red lips closed around the tines of her fork again, slowly pulling out as a slight moan left her mouth, causing my dick to twitch at the sound. My irritation at her continuance to entice me had my cold nature slashing out before I could stop it.
“Your ex-husband,” I paused, her eyes snapping up to meet mine. “He’s very successful at what he does. In fact, I’d say he railroaded you during your divorce proceedings. I’ve never seen an adulterer make out so well before. Did you even try to keep anything?” I steepled my hands, eyes holding hers. Sax made a grumbling sound next to me, but I ignored him.
She slowly placed her fork on the plate, crossing her hands in her lap. “You’ll have to excuse my ignorance, Mr. Masters, but I believe I asked you to look into my mother and Brian and their connection. I’d think someone so concerned about confidentiality would understand the need to follow proper etiquette.”