Unlocking my door, I was surprised when my phone began to ring. Not many people called me, so the sound always took me by surprise. Creasing my brow at the blocked number, I debated if I should answer it. I didn’t like not knowing who was on the other end; anxiety coursed through me at who it could be.
By the fourth ring, I was a ball of nerves, and only the thought it could have something to do with Jude had me accepting the call.
“Hello?” squeaked out, my voice sounding weak as I answered, and I hated it. Resolving myself, I straightened my spine and tried again. “Hello?”
“Good evening, Mrs. Carter.” The voice instantly sent shivers racing over my body, my name rolling over his tongue. Even through the phone’s tiny speakers, it still had my body wanting to bow to him, begging for more.
“Mr. Masters.” It was all I could manage to get out, the name a breathy reply.
“I’ve called to give you an update on what we discussed yesterday.”
“Oh?”
“I believe I have some information you’ll be interested in. Would you be able to come over this evening?”
“Oh,” I startled, surprised and shocked at his speediness. “Um, that’s great, but I have dinner plans with my neighbor tonight.”
He was silent for a few seconds before he responded, my lip finding its way between my teeth as I waited.
“What if I propose an alternative?” he asked, pausing and keeping me on pins and needles. “How about if you and Mr. Miller have dinner here instead? This involves him as well, and I’ll have food catered in for the occasion.”
The thoughtfulness of his suggestion had me smiling, a blush heating my cheeks, making me feel like a schoolgirl getting attention from her crush. Atticus was no boy though, he was all man, a commanding presence begging for obedience, and I found myself wanting to give in to his call.
“That sounds lovely. There’s just one problem.”
“What is it? I’m sure we can find a solution together, Mrs. Carter.”
Atticus was more disarming over the phone when I couldn’t read his body language. His concern had my body heating and my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. It suddenly had me flashing back to the sensation room when Sax was only a voice and how mind-blowing that experience had been.
“Mrs. Carter?”
“Oh, sorry, I must’ve muted the phone accidentally with my cheek,” I lied, clearing my throat. “I haven’t told Monroe yet about our agreement.”
“I see.”
“But, I’m sure once I do, it will be okay. Can I just check with him first?” The need to please Atticus was riding me hard, and I found myself worried he wouldn’t be happy with my response, not to mention I suddenly felt guilty for lying.
“I will call you back in 10 minutes, Mrs. Carter.”
“Thank you.”
“And Mrs. Carter?”
“Yes?”
“There’s no need to feel shame about being flustered, Bellezza, but don’t lie to me.”
The phone clicked, and I stood frozen, my face heating in embarrassment. The sudden ending of the phone call was abrupt, but I didn’t find it rude. I was learning it was his nature. It felt more like he was holding himself back from saying or doing more at times. His own shields in place. Mr. Masters was a tough cookie to crack, and he had me so twisted, I wasn’t sure how to handle him. A strong need to be seen as flawless in front of him was always at the surface, highlighting my failures.
But the thought, that feeling, was triggering, reminding me of my mother and Brian. Yet, Atticus was nothing like either of them, and when I looked deeper at the feeling, I knew it was different at its core. With Atticus, it was out of respect, not fear, or at least not the same kind of fear.
With my mother, and even Brian, I feared their repercussions and reactions to my choices in the end. I constantly found myself managing their emotions along with my own to reduce any negative response, fearful of their violent tendencies. With Atticus, the sense of danger about him had me wanting to obey in a different way. The darkness was seductive, calling to the portion of me that liked to run free. The section of my personality that wasn’t concerned about societal norms or boundaries. The part of myself that scared me a little, if I was honest.
The realization I’d been standing frozen in my living room for a few minutes now had me setting my stuff down and placing my phone on the counter. It was 5:30 pm, and Monroe was due over here in an hour. Kicking off my high heels, I slipped on my moccasin slippers by the door and walked across the hall.
I could’ve called Monroe or texted, but this felt like something I should tell him face to face. I’d planned to do it tonight, so all this did was speed up the timeline. Knocking, I only waited a few seconds before he answered, a huge smile on his face.
“Lo! I thought we were having dinner at your place in an hour?”