“Thank you, Nic.”
I kissed her cheek and sent her on her way, needing to clean up my mess anyway. So much for keeping it professional between us. I’d only been kidding myself with that anyway. Immy was my soft spot.
Now, I just needed to find a way off the property. It should be simple enough, considering I’d barely left in two months.
* * *
“Mas,I need to check on something at the shop. Anything you want me to check on while I’m in town?”
He’d been working on something on his laptop, a furrow in his brow as he took in the screen. Leaning casually against the doorframe, I inspected my fingernails, and even had a little whistle going as I waited for his answer. I was going for the whole uninterested vibe, attempting to throw him off.
“So, Immy finally got someone to cave, huh?”
My eyes snapped to his, and I caught the smug expression spread across his face. Dropping my act, I slumped into the office and took a chair.
“I don’t know if I should be more offended that I’m not the only one she asked or that I caved first.”
Mas let out a sound, a cross between a chuckle and a huff at my statement. “Well, Sax was a day away from caving if it makes you feel any better.”
Laughing, I leaned back, steepling my fingers. “So, what’s the verdict then?”
“I think we can come out of hiding. There hasn’t been any other chatter that we’ve seen, nor has Rawles received anything. Our pieces are in play now to move forward with our plans as well. I was going to suggest we move back to the city this weekend as is, but if you want to make amends with Immy, I’ll allow you to go today.”
Nodding, I accepted the answer and knew it was time. Despite the fact that I was going stir crazy cooped up in this house, we couldn’t do anything else from here. We needed to be seen and show we weren’t afraid.
“And, where does that leave Loren?”
He leaned back in his chair, regarding me. “I haven’t changed my mind about her involvement in the family, but that being said, Nicolai, I don’t own you. I’m not the Grim Reaper, and I won’t take your choices away from you. I know she’s the only reason you stayed here this long as is, and it would be remiss of me to think you’d stay away forever.”
I nodded, relief for the first time in months flooding me.
“But,” he started, waiting until I was looking at him again. “I think our lives are far too dangerous to involve her. If you continue seeing her, then her death is on your hands. The next few months will determine how this war plays out and how many casualties we end up with. For your sake, and even Immy’s, I hope she isn’t included in that number. Do you understand?”
I nodded, the underlying reality of our lives threaded through his words, but I also heard his own fear and perhaps some disappointment at having to keep her at arm’s length.
“Noted.”
“You’re not going to stop seeing her are you?” he sighed.
I smirked, rubbing my jaw in thought. “Where’s the fun in that, Cous?” Sitting up, I dropped the act and leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. “Though, it’s all dependent on her. She’s not like other women, Mas. Something I think you’re aware of. I’m going to have to do a lot of groveling without revealing a whole lot of truth. Loren might take herself out of this game on her own.”
I knew it was a real possibility, but it was a reality I didn’t want to face. So even though I said the words, acknowledged them out loud, I found it hard to believe. I’d had a lot of time to think since the bombing, and the one thing I knew to be true was I needed Loren in my life.
Now, I just had to convince her as well, and grovel my ass off.
“On another note, does that mean we’re set to return to the fights this weekend?”
“Yes, I’ve been coordinating with Lucca, and he’s replaced you with Domino. I think it would be wise to still make an appearance and officially pass the baton to him this week. You won’t need to be at them all moving forward, but stopping in from time to time would be expected of the underboss.”
I nodded, some fear and excitement mixed in his words. I’d willingly accepted his offer, a chance to protect Loren and live the future I wanted. Despite knowing that, it still sent fear through me every time he called me out as the underboss, reminding me of my role in the family now. I’d continued my classes from here while we were sequestered, but the dream no longer felt viable. Despite wanting to be an art teacher and leave this life, I didn’t know if I could now.
At least not until Darren was taken care of.
Until then, nothing was safe, and any future I tried to build would be made of sand, crumbling under the pressure. I wanted more than that.
So, patience would need to be my friend because until it was clear of danger, none of us had any future—not even a dream one.
“Right, I’ll plan on being there and speak with Lucca to see if he needs anything.”