Kneeling down in front of the concrete block, I brushed the leaves and debris off the surface that had collected there before placing the single purple rose. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look at the headstone yet, the reality of it, too hard to do without preparation. The fact I was here at all still amazed me. I hadn’t been able to step foot here since the funeral. Since the day I had to bury my baby.
Taking a deep breath, I kept my eyes closed as I lifted my face to the sun, needing to feel its warmth first, to remind me I was still alive despite the chill that had settled into my bones. Sucking in another breath, I fought against the urge to turn and go, to leave and try again another day. I owed it to myself and my child to do this. It was time. Slowly, I opened my eyes and focused on the gravestone in front of me.
Violet Anne Carter
A sob bubbled up, escaping as I ran my finger over the name engraved into the stone. Brian had thrown a fit over the cost, stating it was unnecessary, but even in my weakened state, I’d insisted. That had been when I still thought we were a team, grieving together. I guess I should’ve seen it for what it was at the time, but I’d been blind to my own grief and suffering through the trauma my body had experienced itself.
As much as I was beginning to enjoy my life now, happy to be free of Brian, I wish this sweet baby hadn’t had to perish in the process. The tears fell down my face, and I let them. The grief needed an outlet for once.
Most days, I tried not to think about everything that occurred three years ago, pushing it aside in order to make it through the day. My life had been sad enough. I didn’t need to reminisce about the child I’d lost, as well. The child I’d only got to hold in my arms for mere moments.
Crying today felt different than the tears in the past, though. Today, it felt more final, cathartic even. Maybe it was the fact my life had finally begun to move forward, or I no longer clung to the false belief it would magically revert back to a time when I’d been happy.
The truth was, I hadn’t been happy. Not really.
I stayed in my spot, sat back on my haunches as I stared at the name on the tombstone for so long, I lost feeling in my legs. I’d entered some meditative state as I focused on the name, and I let go of all of the dreams and hopes I once had attached to this sweet baby. Nicco’s tattoo might be symbolic, but at that moment, I truly felt them fly away from me, leaving my body to join the one they belonged to. The weight they’d always been, the one I’d grown so accustomed to, it felt odd now with it gone.
Drying my eyes, I stood, kicking my legs out as I tried to get feeling back in them. The tingles shot up, and I found myself dancing a little to disperse the sensations. Of course, it was in this state that he found me. His voice sent a chill down my spine.
“Looking gorgeous as usual, even surrounded by death, or maybe even more so because you are.”
My head snapped up, meeting his gaze, and I swallowed at the fear that coursed through me. The dangerous man who knew far too much about me stood only a few feet away. His dark hair was styled, his face clean-shaven, and he was dressed well today. Black slacks, shiny dress shoes, and a grey button-down shirt adorned his body. The sleeves were rolled up, showcasing some tattoos. I couldn’t remember if I’d seen his arms before, but I found myself staring at them.
When I realized he’d been quiet, I looked up, meeting his curious eyes. Amusement danced along his features as he watched me. Holding his gaze, I crossed my arms and balanced my weight on the balls of my feet to prepare myself to run if necessary.
“I think at this point, after three meetings, I should know your name. You seem to know a lot about me, after all.”
My heart raced, and I was a trembling mess inside. I hadn’t been prepared to face down someone so quickly after processing the emotional turmoil, but I faked it the best I could, steeling myself with a hard exterior.
He grinned wide, his hands in his pockets now, with what I could only assume was an attempt to disarm me with his casualness.
“I’d thought you’d never ask, gorgeous. I’m Darren Delgado.”
“Okay, Darren. How about now, you tell me why you keep seeking me out?”
“Feisty,” he chuckled, taking a small step forward. “I like that about you. My sister was feisty too.” His eyes went dark when he spoke about his sister, and he took another step forward, and I found myself moving backward with each one he took.
“You still didn’t answer my question, Darren.”
“You’re right.”
My hands brushed against tombstones as I moved past them, and I suddenly felt like a mouse caught in a trap. But I kept moving, too scared of what it might mean if I didn’t. There was no way I wanted his hands on me, and I doubt I’d get the element of surprise on him this time. The realization that two guys had been with him before had me searching for them too late.
A gloved hand clamped down on my mouth a second before my body bumped into someone. Darren smiled wider, continuing his slow approach toward me.
Breaths rolled in and out of me at a quick pace as the foul-smelling material blocked my airway. Things started to go fuzzy, my panic increasing when it was wrenched away. Dropping to the ground, I sucked in the clean oxygen, coughing, and hoped it would clear whatever had been on his glove from my system. I heard grunts and movement, but I was too disoriented to focus on anything around me outside of breathing.
When a hand touched my shoulder a moment later, I jumped, raising my fists in protection. The necklace caught my eye as it swung up with my momentum, and I put my finger into the ring, ready to pull it, as I focused on the man in front of me. He seemed familiar, though, so I waited, leveling him with my gaze.
“Don’t touch me, or I’ll have my boyfriend here before you can even blink.”
The man was crouched down in front of me, but he gave me some space as he placed his hands in a placating gesture in front of him.
“Are you okay, miss? I’m Beau. We sort of met a few months ago when you were with Nicco?”
I blinked at his question and looked around. The other man was gone, so I hoped it meant this one had scared him off. The mention of Nicco had me relaxing as well, and the familiar face locked into place. I swallowed, nodding.
“Yes, I’m fine. You were at the fight, right?”