The past hour had been an excruciating exercise in self-control. Monroe and I were curled up on the lounge part of the couch, our legs entangled with one another as we watched the movie. Levi had snuggled close for a while but then had joined Jude on the floor in a bed made of pillows. They both snored softly now, curled up with blankets. If Monroe hadn’t slowly been torturing me for the past hour with his gentle touches on my skin, I probably would’ve been content just to watch them sleep.
Yet, as the credits played, I quietly stood and took Monroe’s hand. He chuckled, knowing good and well what he’d been doing to me. Shaking my head, I motioned for him to be quiet as I led him down the hall. I grabbed my phone this time, patting myself on the back for remembering, and made sure to lock the door to my room behind me. The moment the lock snicked closed, Monroe had me in his arms, kissing me against the wall.
“Fuck, Lo. I’ve wanted to do that for the past hour.”
“I know, jerk. Your fingers have been teasing me.” I smacked his chest but smiled, letting him know I wasn’t actually mad. “How about you take me to that bed and fuck me like we both want?”
“That sounds like an epic idea.”
Bending low, he scooped me up bridal style before I could protest, a slight squeal leaving me as he did. He delivered a smug look as he walked us over before gently laying me down. “I might not look as burly as Wells or Sax, Lo, but I can pick up my woman.”
“Your woman?” Monroe grinned, searing me with a look that had me squirming with his intentions.
“Yes, Loren. You’re my woman. Time I show you just what that means.”
Monroe’s lips met mine, pressing hard into my own as our tongues battled it out in a passion-filled kiss that left me panting when he pulled away. I bucked up, needing contact as he started to drop kisses down my neck, and blew on my skin. I moaned as he nibbled his way down to my collarbone. His hands pushed up my shirt, palming my breasts as his thumbs rubbed over my nipples. The peaks were stiff as he played with them, and I ran my own fingers through his mop of curls, pulling him to me more.
We kissed as only Monroe seemed capable of doing, like we had all the time in the world. He never seemed rushed and took his time, slowly enjoying my body as he uncovered it piece by piece, leaving me a writhing and panting mess in the process. Moaning, I couldn’t take it any longer, and I bucked up, yanking him down to me.
“Monroe, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll—“
Except I didn’t get to finish my sentence, a long moan escaped me instead as Monroe plunged two fingers into my aching cunt, dripping with need. Throwing my head back, I gave in to the pleasure and the friction I’d been needing. His edging and teasing for the past few hours had me quickly tumbling into an orgasm when he rubbed my clit with his thumb, pinching my nipple with his free hand.
“Oh, fuck.”
Once I’d orgasmed, it was like a switch flipped, and he yanked my clothes off me quicker than I could count before slamming into me, a deep moan of his own ricocheting around the room. Almost as if to show me he could toss me around too, his arm banded behind my back, and he lifted us to a sitting position. It was intimate being this close, and I wrapped around him, pressing my breasts against his chest.
“Fucking hell, Lo. Is this what sex is supposed to feel like?”
I smoothed his hair down, cupping his cheek as we slowly rocked into one another, content to lock eyes for the moment.
“I didn’t know either, not until, well, Nicco. I felt like I’d been lied to my whole life,” I admitted, chuckling. He kissed my lips softly once, then again, reassuring me.
“I like that you talk to me about them. I thought it would be weird, but it’s not. I like the fact that we can be bare assed together, my cock deep inside of you, and still carry on a conversation. It makes me feel like no matter what it is, we can share it with each other. I don’t know,” he admitted, smiling, “it’s just nice and comforting.”
Tightening my walls, I watched as he hissed a breath, his eyes closing briefly before opening. Monroe’s pupils were blown, and I rocked up as I tangled my fingers in his hair again. I didn’t know how we could possibly be any closer at that moment. It felt as if we were sharing the same air and heartbeat.
“You are pure comfort, Monroe, and I love that I can be open with you too. I never have to censor myself, and you give me the space and opportunity to talk things out without backlash. You’re one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t think I could ever stop being in your life now. Not after this…” he kissed me deeply, stopping his own sentence, every ounce of passion in his entire body transferred through his lips as they pressed into mine. Monroe’s hands threaded through my hair, the soft caresses, bringing me closer to him. His hands dipped as he thrust up in me, grabbing my ass as he did. My skin felt like it was on fire, his tongue devouring mine, and I lost my head.
I’d had hot kisses before, I’d even had sweet kisses, and I’d definitely had passionate kisses, but this… this kiss was a body-melting, toe-curling, your essence leaving you and joining the other person type of kiss.
If Monroe’s arms weren’t wrapped around me, I wondered if I would’ve full-on swooned from it.
As it was, I sighed when he pulled away, blinking my eyes open slowly to stare at the man who made me feel so cherished. He gently began to lower us to the bed, his arms cupping my head as he placed it on the soft surface. Monroe began his slow and tortured pace again, and outside the one second where he’d seemed to have snapped, plunging into me, this seemed to be his preferred method. It drove me crazy with need, and I was soon panting into his neck, grabbing his ass cheeks to move faster.
“Ssh, Lo. Just enjoy it and let your body feel everything.”
His slow thrusts in and out felt nice, and I tried to let go of my desire to reach orgasm immediately and relax into it. It was offering him control in a different way, allowing him to direct my pleasure. I realized how much trust I placed in his hands, something I hadn’t fully done with a man since Brian. Gazing into his eyes, though, I knew I could.
Since I’d spoken with him in the elevator, there hadn’t been a day gone by that he hadn’t shown me his true self. Monroe was loving, protective, and steady. He valued family, honesty, and staying true to your word. I’d been gutted when he’d said he had to step back from us, needing to focus on Levi, but I’d misinterpreted the situation. I was so used to being hurt, tossed aside, and discarded, I’d assumed he was as well. Coming on the heels of Nicco and Sax disappearing, it had cut me deep, right to the center of who I was.
My baggage wasn’t his, though, and when I looked at it now, with a different perspective, I couldn’t help but admire him for doing the hard thing. There was no doubt in my mind that what he said was true. He wouldn’t leave me. Not willingly, at least. And that had value.
So I relaxed into his arms, giving over my last shred of hesitancy at trusting him, and placed my heart in his hands this time. Staring into his eyes, I saw the moment he noticed the shift as well. The moment I relinquished every ounce of the mask I hid behind, revealing my naked truth to him.
The fear in me wanted to rise up and cover myself in a protective film to shield me from potential harm. But I pushed it back, wanting to brave this moment and share everything with him. There was no more hiding from Monroe, not when he’d so effortlessly pushed over all my barriers, proving he’d be there. It was my turn to show up for him. I’d been making small steps, and now I needed to leap.