We made it two steps before Nicco realized the outfit I wore wouldn't work on his motorcycle causing him to chase after Nat, promising to pay her double to give us a lift. She pretended to be put out by the request, the slight smile giving away her act.
"Ugh, I guess. You're so demanding, Nicco," Nat teased, rolling her eyes as she shoved him off.
"You're the best, Nat. Our chariot awaits, beautiful!"
Nicco swept out his arm in a dramatic fashion making everyone chuckle at his overzealousness. Even the doorman appeared amused by his gestures, and I felt relieved he didn't think I was a floozy from my earlier kiss fest in the foyer. The doorman nodded at me as Nicco wrapped his arm around me, and I returned it with a smile.
Nicco walked with me out the door, declaring to everyone I was his. An uncommon feeling filled me with his gesture. It was a combination of desired and cherished, and I realized once again, Brian never made me feel this way. Everything he did had a purpose, a precise deliberate intention to it. If he wasn't getting something in return, he wouldn't do it.
Cami waved bye as she continued in the other direction, pulling her jacket closed as she braced against the wind. As it swirled around us, too, my dress clung to my skin, and I held it down with my free hand. Instant gratitude filled me for Nat in giving us a ride. Nicco's motorcycle sounded exciting, but I needed to be wearing warmer, and well, more clothes in order to enjoy it.
Buckling up in the backseat, Nicco wrapped me in his arms as soon as we were both settled. The move was becoming so familiar, I started to worry I'd miss it when this was inevitably over. I wasn't deluded into thinking this had the potential to be something more… real. I was older, broken, and had nothing to offer in the future department for Nicco.
In the past, that would've terrified me and caused me not even to try to engage in this relationship. The freedom in understanding everything was temporary allowed me to jump in with both feet. I knew it would end. Everything did.
When the one thing meant to be forever dissolved into nothing, what value did anything else have? None. Understanding the future this way liberated me. If nothing mattered, nothing had consequences.
"You okay?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm just lost in my thoughts."
Nicco tipped my chin up, his grey eyes glimmered softly, and the blue seemed to sparkle more as he peered at me, drowning me in his essence. I could get lost in these eyes. They held warmth and hope with a tad bit of danger, pulling me into his domain with unspeakable promises. Slowly, he lowered his lips to mine and caressed them in a sensual kiss, effectively pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Beautiful," he breathed, pulling back, rubbing his thumb on my cheek. "Tonight, I want you to get out of your head. Just do what feels good. Let me be your guide, remember?"
Nodding, I stared into the comforting blue depths his eyes had become and hoped to discover the answers to the questions that plagued me. While I didn't find the magic solution making everything clear, I found a sense of absolution, allowing me to let go.
Tonight, I would drop the reins of pressures and societal rules that had held me back my entire life.
Tonight, I would embrace the woman I felt in these clothes and give in to the danger lurking in my soul.
Tonight, the mask would fall away, and I could emerge unrestrained to flirt with the darkness that marred my skin.
* * *
"So, what is this place exactly?"I was standing in a warehouse where people rushed around setting up. Nat had dropped us off thirty minutes earlier, but I wasn't quite sure what was going on, yet. Nicco had been busy directing people, and I'd been quietly following along. It wasn't boring, but I did feel out of my element. Everyone stared, and I started to feel self-conscious. Nicco turned to me, his eyes alight with mischief as his grin spread wide.
"This is an abandoned warehouse."
"Yeah, I gathered that much, smart ass," I quipped, rolling my eyes. Huh, I guess these were my sassy underpants.
"Ooh, I quite like the sass, beautiful. Say something else."
"Uh, it doesn't work that way. I can't just on-demand something. I'm not Netflix."
Nicco belted out a laugh, causing everyone in the vicinity to turn and stare more. Shrinking inward, I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as I curled into his side.
"It seems you can, babe." He smirked. "But to answer your question, there will be a fight later, and I guess you can say I'm in charge of hosting it."
"Why do I feel you're being purposefully vague, Nicco?" I pulled back, crossing my arms, not liking this feeling of caginess between us.
"It's not… Okay, that's a lie. There are just some things about my family I haven't shared, and it's complicated, and I don't want you to run away before I can explain it properly. Can we table this discussion for another time and just enjoy the night?"
I thought over his words. This was our second date together, maybe third if you counted the first night as a date. We were still working up to all the get-to-know-you bits that I'd taken for granted as a teen dating someone she'd known her whole life. My job was also making this difficult. I could feel he was hiding something, and my natural tendency was to pull and find what was underneath the covers.
But this wasn't either of those situations. He didn't owe me anything. We had to work up to it. A feeling of excitement at the process of discovering things about him organically ran through me, and I nodded in understanding. Nicco relaxed, and I realized now how much he'd feared my response. I didn't want him to feel obligated. I wanted him to tell me because it was where our relationship was headed.
"So for tonight, just know that people might treat me differently, and I might have to check in from time to time on things. But, from this point forward, I am all yours."