Chapter 10 – Himari
Why was I knocking on his door? He’d told Orze pretty damn clearly that it was just a fling.
But I was jittery after the wild ride home, after watching Uli, Orze and Caroline work together to fight off the drone that was chasing us while Aidro shut down. He looked a little surprised when he answered, like he never in a million years would have expected to see me. My lips were still stained with his cum.
When I said nothing he looked up and down the ship’s corridor, as if the answer was somewhere beyond me. “Hey, Himari,” he said.
“Hi. I just wanted to see if you were okay. From the berries. No lasting side effects?” Science was my default mode, and I was completely chickening out.
“No more side effects,” Aidro said, glancing back behind him. Was someone in there? I growled and shoved him out of the way, storming into his room to give whoever it was a piece of my mind, but Aidro’s room was empty. There was a book—a sketchbook maybe—tossed on the bed, and the blankets were mussed as if he’d been sleeping. And my heart sank as I realized he really just didn’t want me in his space. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking uncomfortable, and I touched his mark on me. Then I ducked my head and backed out of the room.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” I said, furious with myself for thinking there was something between us. I was sure Aidro was a ladies’ man. He had all the signs.
He frowned. “Himari. Why are you here?”
I bit my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from crying. “Never mind. I just wanted to see you, to make sure you were okay.” More lies. I wanted him holding me close and I wanted his mouth on me, his body against mine. I wanted to cure the ache in his chest over what had happened with his parents, who had been evil and cruel and hadn’t deserved him one bit, though they had deserved what he’d done to them. Instead I sighed and stepped out of his room, with one last glance over my shoulder. He was standing there in that damn jacket, staring me down, his face an impassive mask. Couldn’t I just go back in there and kiss my way up his flat stomach, soothe the scar that ran across his chest?
“Well I’m fine. So I’ll see you around,” he said. “I’m going to bed. It’ll be nice to sleep in a real bed.” He turned and closed the door, and I stood there, staring at it for a moment.Right, well, that had stung. I turned and walked away, dashing away the tears, anger overtaking my sadness. If he wanted to be lonely, he could be lonely for fuck’s sake. And I was definitely not crying over it.
I couldn’t sleep, and for once in my life food didn’t seem appetizing, soI threw myself into my work, studying the local plants to find more food, while Orze or one of the others stood over me, guarding me. Orze specifically seemed assigned to me. Never Aidro, not anymore. I discovered a root vegetable that was quite tasty, and a few grains that we could collect and harvest. Gradually, I started planning out a little farm for us, one that would make us less dependent on the food printer, because we could not rely on that forever.
But at the end of each day, when work ended and I settled down in the cabin we’d built for the scientists from the hull of the drone Aidro and I had fought, that was when I wanted him most. That was when I would have crawled into his bed and curled up beside him and told him about what I’d found. I touched the side of my throat, a habit now, as I walked into the drone, touching the door and remembering Aidro inside. Caroline was in there talking to Leo and Jaime, who were a couple from our vessel’s science team. She glanced over and smiled, then caught me touching the scar, and her eyebrows shot up. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” I said, shrugging, then glancing down at the similar scar she had on her throat. She stepped closer, looking at mine, then gasped softly.
“Who marked you?” she asked, smiling. “Are you seeing one of the guys? That’s so sweet. Love is in the air.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“What do you mean it’s not like that? There’s only one kind of marking in their culture. Whoever did it thinks you’re his soulmate. He loves you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, shaking my head, though her words made my heart squeeze. “He does not love me. It was just sex. And it’s over.”
Caroline frowned. “It may be over for you, but it’s not for him. They can’t get over something like that so easily. He’s likely in a lot of pain.”
“Caroline, come on. He’s not in pain. Be reasonable. Have you seen any of the tholkon guys acting like they’re in pain? Surely you would have noticed a guy practically dying of losing his soulmate.”
Her eyes widened, though. “Aidro?” she whispered. And my heart stopped.