The knowledge that Nerissa may feel the same for me as I do for her has my heart racing, wanting to run to her room and take her in my arms right now, but I tame my emotions and continue our meal.
“Of course, Billy,” she replies, that knowing smirk twitching at the corners of her mouth as she waves to her butler for more wine. “Whatever you wish.”
* * *
My steps are hurried after dinner as I walk through the warm night air to the boarding house. Leaning over the bar, I snag a bottle of wine and confirm with the barkeep that Nerissa is in her room. She had food and drink delivered a few hours ago and no one has seen her come or go. The coin I drop rings on the counter as I push it towards him — a generous tip for keeping an eye out. Bottle in hand, I head up the stairs to her door.
Tap. Tap tap. No answer. I knock once more and listen closely at the wood. No answer.
For a moment, fear seizes me as my heartbeat stutters in my chest. What if she is sick? Injured? Has someone hurt her?
I listen again, almost resting my ear against the wood completely, and hear the creak of the bed as if someone has rolled over. My heart both sinks and lifts at once — at least she’s all right, even if she is avoiding everyone since the lunch with Marie went as poorly as it seems. A sigh escapes me as I quietly go through my own door and silently check the door between our rooms. Locked. She needs time alone.
My body slumps into the chair at the small desk in the corner of my room as I glance at the paper laying there. I write a quick note, leaving it open for the ink to dry, while I undress and take a long pull of wine straight from the bottle. Half of a bottle later, I splay out on the soft feather bed and let the island breeze soothe me to sleep.
Chapter 29
A light tap draws my attention, but I do not stir from the bed where I lay. Hours ago I stripped to my shift, then had dinner and refreshments delivered to my room. I have no desire to speak with, or see, anyone. The tap comes again, and I turn my head to look at the offending noise, but still don’t move except to roll over.
Let them think I am gone. Let them think I am drunk and sleeping it off. Whatever they think, I will not rise to entertain anyone tonight. I’m no longer at anyone’s bidding.
I roll back towards the window, staring out into the night. The gauzy curtains blow gently in the sea breeze, and the air feels pleasant on my bare skin. Once the tapping stops, I close my eyes and take a cleansing breath.
The anger from earlier is safely secured in my chest, but Marie’s warning about Lennox’s true feelings still weighs heavy on me. If he feels that strongly, why hasn’t he told me?
Waxing moonlight is just visible through my open windows, reminding me once again that the moon will be full in just another few nights. As I fall asleep, memories surround me, causing me to dream of silver robes, golden circlets, and dancing with my sisters in the moonlight at the temple that no longer stands on the hill in Athene.
* * *
The orchids and tropical flowers are aromatic — their sweet vanilla and cinnamon scents cling to me as I follow my aunt through the humidity of the hothouse. Standing straight as an arrow, she is tall, her dark hair showing threads of silver at her temples when she turns her head to smile at me. The many exotic flowers with their bold hues and delicious scents easily distract me, but I try to remain attentive to her when she tells me about the different species and the medicinal qualities of new plants that have been brought back from faraway places.
At ten, I will be at court a few more years before I depart for the temple to learn from the priestesses, and each moment I spend with Aunt Adelaide is a treasure to me. She is dark, whereas my mother was fair, and her laughing eyes and quick smile are the opposite of my mother’s stern and serious nature.
I want to be like my aunt, but I know that even though I look like her, I am as stoic and stubborn as my mother. It’s been years since my mother passed, and in that time I’ve lived here with my aunt as her ward. Even after all this time guilt still surges in my chest when I think about how much I enjoy being here instead of back home.
“It’s all right, Nerissa! You can get closer to look at them,” my aunt indulges me, as if she isn’t the ruler of our country with better things to do than teach a child about flowers. “Smell their fragrances. We have time.”
I step closer to the beautiful orchids with their irresistible fragrance and inhale deeply. Giggles of delight burst from my lips over the bright little blooms and Aunt Adelaide chuckles along with me, giving me a tight hug around my shoulders.
* * *
The sweet smell of tropical flowers greets me when I wake, wafting through the open shutters overlooking the jungle. The memory of my aunt is yet another sting to my heart, but it doesn’t take much for me to understand why, of all nights, this dream would return to me.
Even before Blackwell murdered her, I hadn’t seen her for five years, not since I left for the temple. The discussions with Marie have opened a raw place in my chest that I locked away years ago, the ache sinking all the way into my bones.
Hot tears burn the back of my throat as I fight to keep them from falling on my pillow. I have already cried enough tears to fill the ocean over the loss of my aunt – shedding more will not change the past. With a deep breath, I sit up, wiping my cheeks roughly and sniffling lightly. A light tap at the door rouses me further, and I glance to the door at the sound — what pulled me from my memory-dream of the hothouse with my aunt.
“Yes?” I call out. My voice is rough this morning and my head throbs slightly, courtesy of the empty bottle of wine lying next to my bed.
“Tea and biscuits for you, Missus?” A woman’s voice replies, accompanied by the light clink of silver on a tray through the door. I groan lightly, drop my feet to the ground, and pad to the door to open it for the servant.
“Good morning, Missus. I hope I didn’t disturb you?” She looks at the tray instead of my face, dipping her blond head as if she is afraid she woke me.
“Good morning. No no, you’re fine.” I rub my temples with my hand as I sweep the other toward the table in the center of the room to usher her in. “Please bring the tray in. Thank you.” She gently places the tray on the low table and quickly turns back to the door.
A folded note under the plate holding the sweet biscuit catches my eye, and cock my head. “Is that a message for me?” I gesture to the note before the servant can leave.
“Oh, um… yes, Missus — from the Captain. He left it this morning on his way out.” She averts her eyes again, cheeks flaming at the mention of Lennox. I huff air out of my nose in amusement, but excuse the girl before grabbing the note. Was it him tapping at my door last night?