I push up to standing, feeling less at a disadvantage when we’re closer in height. “Go on.”
“You’re not a virgin.”
I gasp at the completely personal question. “How the hell do you know that?”
“Am I wrong?”
I drop my gaze.
“I didn’t think so.” He comes to stand right beside me. “So why do you act as though the idea of sex is terrifying to you?”
His perceptiveness makes my insides spin. “Because you’re a stranger.”
He reaches for my hand, lifting it between us, his fingers rubbing over our wedding bands. “Not anymore.”
I bite down on my lip. “Being married to you doesn’t mean we’re not strangers. It just means we’re the same kind of crazy.”
His smile lacks humour. “Yet here we are.”
I nod, troubled at the idea of what’s ahead of me – of us. Wondering, not for the first time, if this was sheer, impulsive madness. The idea of my dad being able to come home blinded me to everything else, but now I’m here and the expectation that I’ll uphold my end of the bargain weighs on me like a tonne of bricks.
“Something is bothering you.”
I tilt my face to his. “Do you care?”
His frown is infinitesimal. “I am…curious.”
“Because you like to know everything? It’s all just a power trip to you, isn’t it?”
He doesn’t respond, and I sigh at my uncharacteristically catty comment.
“I know you said you need me to fall pregnant.” I clear my throat, reminding myself of everything I know to be true.
“We agreed to that point.”
I bite down on my lip. “I know. But the more I think about it, the more I realise we’d be better to wait.”
His eyes narrow. “Is this your virginal act again?”
I colour, looking away from him. “This has nothing to do with sex,” I murmur. “It’s not about that. But having a baby, bringing a person into the world, it’s a huge responsibility. I know I married you this morning, but you need to understand: I didn’t come here expecting I’d be welded to you for life. I saw this as a short-term measure.”
Indignation fires in his face.
“Hear me out,” I insist, before he can interrupt with whatever it is I can see running through his mind.
He compresses his lips with obvious effort.
“I need something from you and you need something from me. That’s simple. Can’t we both achieve what we want without making any permanent changes to our lives?”
His nostrils flare, his eyes glittering with dark rejection.
“I want my dad to be able to come home, and you want your people to stop seeing him as an alternate leader.”
He lifts a finger. “A very small minority of my people.”
“If it were that small, would you have gone to these lengths?”
His eyes fire something in my belly. “Any threat to my country’s peace must be taken seriously.”