“What do you mean?” He moved closer, bracing a hand on either side of her body, trapping her within his arms, her back pressed to the kitchen bench. She lifted a hand to his chest, her fingers pressing to the naked skin there, marvelling at his warmth. But it was an appreciation eclipsed by sadness, because an end was near. Regardless of what he was trying to do now, they both knew it.
She swallowed; it felt as though her throat was lined with razor blades. There was such futility in this. She dropped her hand and focussed on his shoulder. “In one weeks’ time, will you feel differently? Do you think you’ll wake up happy to see me go?”
“Not happy,” he answered immediately, his frown pulling at the strings of her heart. “But more accepting.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
She laughed, a short, sharp sound of rejection. “That’s not an answer.”
“Fine. Why today?”
“Because it’s the day we agreed on.”
“Right. It’s an arbitrary line in the sand. A page on the calendar. So let’s choose another one. Seven more days here, with me,” he moved a little closer and despite the fact she could feel tension radiating from him, he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek so gently, his eyes hooked to hers, promising her pleasure that she understood would prolong this pain. “And seven more nights.” He dropped his forehead to hers, brushing their lips together.
How tempting it was! How lovely it would be to nod her head and surrender to him completely. After all, he was right. While she had to vacate La Villetta, that didn’t mean she had to leave Ondechiara. But knowing how she felt, there was danger in staying. Danger to her heart.
“I can’t.”
Something flashed in his features as he straightened, in order to be able to see her better.
“Why not?” And for a moment, the briefest moment, she saw Nico as he must be to the rest of the world. The hard-nosed businessman. Billionaire tycoon, responsible for one of the largest corporate entities in the world. A tremble made its way over her spine then through her central nervous system, but she held her ground. Maddie was done surrendering. She knew what she wanted and if Nico wasn’t offering it, then she had to leave.
“Because one week isn’t what I want.”
“Then what do you want, cara?”
A dream. More than he’d ever promised. She sucked in a breath, forcing herself to be brave. “I just want you.” A wistful smile shifted across her face, because as soon as she heard it, she knew it was impossible. “I just want all of you, for a
lways.”
Chapter 13
“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?”
He asked the question even when her expression told him everything. He felt like he was falling down a well, deep and dark. He felt like a child, unable to articulate anything so instead he relied on questions as a stalling technique. He felt like a coward for not even acknowledging her wants with the truth of his own.
But he couldn’t. He didn’t. He loved what they were doing and hell, he wanted more of Maddie too, but not for always. Just for now. Just this one summer – and a little bit extra.
“It means I’m in love with you.”
He cursed inwardly. She was about to cry and he couldn’t handle that. He wouldn’t be the reason for it. He’d wanted to make her happy, to help her heal, not fill her with a new layer of grief that she would leave Italy needing to recover from.
“Maddie…”
“I know.” She nodded urgently. “You don’t have to say it. You don’t love me.”
Her declaration was anathema to him. Never forget how much I love you, Niccolo. His mother’s parting words had stayed with him a long time, but love was easy to forget when it existed in a void. It was eleven months before he saw her again. Eleven months of longing and missing, needing and wanting, and never having. He’d cried, as a small boy, for a need to be in his mother’s arms.
Love was a powerful idea that didn’t, in his experience, translate to much in the real world. Just like any kind of future with Maddie was doomed.
They wanted different things.
She wanted children. Marriage. All of the happily ever after fictions he’d long ago come to despise. But he wanted to give her an answer that would make her smile. Christo, he wanted to give her everything.
“It’s okay,” she reached for his hands, moving them from her sides so she could step away from the bench. “I get it. It’s fine, really.”