He drew out swiftly, before the need could overwhelm him, and he took her like an animal again.
As he placed her on her feet, she staggered and bitter regret tore into his chest. He’d treated her no better than a whore. He lifted her in his arms and walked on unsteady legs. He had to take her back to her own room. He couldn’t be trusted. Why had he fallen asleep in her arms? How could he have allowed this to happen?
“Jared? Where are you taking me?” she murmured, piercing the thick fog of regret and recriminations.
“To your room. Where I promise you’ll be safe from me.”
Trembling fingers caressed his cheek and he was forced to stop and meet her gaze. He couldn’t make out her expression in the darkness but the tender touch had his heart battering his ribs.
“You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do,” she said, touching both his cheeks now as if pleading with him to believe her. “You do understand that, don’t you?”
Her earnest statement nearly broke his heart. But he refused to accept her absolution. She didn’t know she was worth s
o much more than he could ever give her. That she deserved a better man than he could ever be.
Hell, she probably even thought she was falling in love with him, and that would be the cruelest trick of all.
“Sure, but you must be tired,” he said, the struggle to keep his tone casual and dismissive making his arms shake as he carried her into her room and placed her on the coverlet.
But as he went to leave she refused to relinquish her clasp on his neck. Pulling him back toward her, she placed a sweet, coaxing kiss on his lips.
“Really, Jared, you didn’t do anything wrong. I enjoyed it,” she said, her voice tremulous and unsure, but with the boldness of the girl he had come to know.
He reared back, breaking her hold as agony ripped through him—at the thought of all the things they might have had but couldn’t, because of who he was and what he’d come from.
“Get some sleep.”
He left the room without a backward glance. But he knew the image of her sitting on her bed in the moonlight, naked and vulnerable, her knees drawn up to her breasts as she tried to protect herself against the hurt he’d caused would haunt him for the rest of his life.
* * *
Katie wasn’t a bit surprised to find Jared gone from the villa the next morning. She woke up feeling fragile, both physically and emotionally, after everything that had happened the night before. And she suspected Jared felt the same. She’d witnessed something she was sure he had kept hidden for a long time. The night terrors that she now knew were a regular occurrence had to come from some deep-seated trauma in his past.
But, while she was desperately sad at the thought of what he must have once endured to be so traumatized, at the same time she felt what had happened between them could only be a positive thing. He’d let down his guard last night, and so had she, and the connection between them had been strong, powerful and life-affirming.
This wasn’t just about sex, it was about so much more than that. In so many ways they were kindred spirits. Hadn’t they both been holding themselves back, keeping a tight rein on their emotions to protect themselves from hurt? Once she got a chance to talk to him properly, she would let him know that he could trust her to keep his secrets safe.
She went for a long swim in the pool and then had a leisurely breakfast on the terrace, hoping that he would put in an appearance at some point. By two o’clock she had finished all the landscapes she had been working on the day before and was considering tracking him down at the resort’s business center when a call arrived from Megan.
They spoke for over an hour, and although Katie was careful not to divulge the details of her affair with Jared she knew her sister suspected something when she revealed that she had visited Alexis’s grave the day before. And also that she had made the decision to return to New York with Jared.
But she resisted Megan’s careful probing. She couldn’t talk to her sister before she spoke to Jared. She needed to keep her optimism under control. Even though she was certain they’d reached an important turning point the night before, they’d only slept together twice. What they had was hardly even an affair let alone a relationship and she had to be careful not to get ahead of herself. His distance last night after they’d made love had been clear and unequivocal. It had felt like a blow at the time but, after a solid five hours’ sleep and some time to think and reflect, she was sure he was just wary of the emotions they’d both unleashed.
He was a cautious, guarded man who had good reason to be scared of emotional attachments. It made sense that he would leave it up to her to take the next step, especially as she suspected he felt guilty about taking her virginity. Which was of course nuts, but he was a guy.
After hanging up the phone she called the business center. But once she finally got through to Jared’s executive assistant, he informed her that Signore Caine was conducting a meeting with the heads of his security teams and would return to the villa by four o’clock.
Galvanized into action, Katie hunted through the wardrobe Donatella had selected. She tried on three different outfits before finally settling on a tomboyish combo of Capri pants, camisole and linen shirt. Nerves skittered over her skin when she heard the deep rumble of the motorbike pulling into the car port at four exactly. She waited on the terrace, trying not to let all the thoughts and feelings from last night overwhelm her.
That said, it was still impossible to quell the rampant beat of her pulse when he stepped out into the sunlight. In his suit pants, and tailored white shirt, a thin tie neatly knotted at the collar, he looked every inch the business tycoon—composed, commanding and detached. A million miles away from the man she had seen the previous night and was very much afraid she was already halfway in love with.
“Hi, how are you?” she asked, then wanted to kick herself. Seriously, could she sound anymore inane after the enormity of what they’ve been through the night before?
But he barely even blinked before replying. “Good. I can’t stay long. I just thought I’d come back and check that you’re good with tonight’s travel arrangements?”
She was so surprised by the pragmatic tone it took her a moment to register what he was saying. “What travel arrangements?”
He loosened his tie and undid the first button of his shirt. “I’m heading back to Manhattan tonight on the company jet. Your passport arrived from the British Consulate an hour ago, so you can accompany me if you want.”