‘You’re kidding me?’
She looked up. He put his fork down on his plate. He was watching her,
his expression unreadable.
‘It’s silly really. It was just a stupid schoolgirl’s fantasy.’
He dumped the plate down on the blanket. ‘What kind of schoolgirl’s fantasy, exactly?’
‘Not that kind of fantasy, you numbskull.’ Was he jealous? It was so ridiculous it was almost sweet. If she hadn’t felt like a complete fool for bringing up this whole business, she might have been flattered. ‘It took me a while to realise it, but it wasn’t Linc I fancied. Well, not much anyway. It was what he represented.’
‘And what was that?’ Monroe didn’t even know why he was asking the question. He didn’t want the answer.
Jessie huffed out a breath, put her own plate down. ‘He adored Ali. It was obvious whenever they were together that they adored each other. And then, about a month after they announced they were getting married, they told us that Ali was expecting a baby.’ Jessie picked up her fork, toyed with her food. ‘Of course, it was wonderful news. We were all so excited.’
Monroe wasn’t convinced. He could see the misery in her eyes at the memory. ‘You sure about that?’
‘A part of me was,’ she said, so quietly he almost couldn’t hear her over the churn of the sea. ‘But a part of me was pea-green with envy.’
‘Because she was having Linc’s kid?’ He really didn’t want to hear the answer to this one.
‘No,’ she said.
The knot of tension in his shoulders released.
‘Because she had this perfect life,’ Jessie continued. ‘Marriage to a gorgeous man who worshipped her. When Emmy arrived, a beautiful daughter.’ Jessie shook her head, her eyes downcast. ‘I was a stupid, selfish, silly little girl who wanted what she had without having to work for it.’
‘Red.’ He reached out, stroked his hand down her arm. ‘Don’t be so damn hard on yourself. You were only a kid at the time.’
‘I was old enough to know better. And I didn’t really get over it until after Toby.’
‘Toby.’ Monroe felt his shoulders tighten again. ‘The dumb bastard who couldn’t give you an orgasm?’
Jessie laughed, breaking the tension at last. ‘Yes, that would be Toby.’
‘How long were you guys together?’ Funny, but he didn’t feel nearly as threatened by her relationship with her ex-boyfriend as he did by her teenage crush on his brother.
‘Two years.’ She sighed, picked up her plate again. ‘Two very long years.’
‘Two years without an orgasm. No wonder they felt long. You’d have to be some kind of a nun not to be mad about that.’
‘If I had known what I was missing, I’d have walked out on him in about two seconds.’ Jessie started to laugh.
Monroe smiled back at her. No, he didn’t feel remotely threatened by Toby the jerk.
‘But then again,’ Jessie said, sobering, ‘Toby’s abilities in bed weren’t why I agreed to marry him.’
‘You were going to marry the guy? What the hell for?’
Jessie gave a small smile. ‘Well, because he asked me, for one thing. And because he told me he wanted to have children, make a home. For a while there, I persuaded myself he was my dream come true.’
Monroe felt the mouthful of potato salad he’d eaten turn over in his stomach. ‘That’s your dream? A home, kids?’
Jessie frowned. He looked stunned. No, not stunned, he looked horrified. Just for a moment, before he looked away.
‘Well, yes. Sort of. But not right now.’
Was he scared she was going to ask him to marry her or something? While it was lowering to know the question might put that devastated look in his eyes, even she wasn’t that much of a romantic fool. They’d only been together for four days, for goodness’ sake.