Ilara: Chapter 5
I stood on shaking legs, watching as Bear and Hope played with the suds in the water. I’d heard laughing and that had been what woke me up. I recognized her giggles but not the man’s laugh. I hurried to the door and was stunned to find him bathing my daughter. She had a huge toothy smile on her face as they blew on the bubbles. Her hair was wet, and I saw there was water all over the floor. I must have made a sound because Bear suddenly turned around and looked at me.
As I gazed at him, I saw the hesitancy and almost worry on his face. Was he wondering how he would handle me now? After all, it wasn’t every day a guy said he wanted to get to know you and then found out you’d been raped. That had to have changed his mind about starting anything with me. Guys were weird about that kind of thing.
I knew because a friend in high school had been raped and her boyfriend hadn’t been able to handle it. He broke up with her. She’d had more than one guy stop calling when he found out. The last I heard, she was still dealing with it and the lasting effect it had had on her life. If I ever thought about being with a man again, would I be running into the same thing?
“How are you feeling, beautiful? Can I get you anything?” he asked me huskily. His eyes were looking me up and down. When his eyes stayed on my legs, I looked down and realized I was dressed in nothing but a big, long t-shirt. It hung to my knees. It had to be one of his. As I thought of it, my face turned red, as I wondered how I’d gotten into it. He stood up quickly.
“No, I didn’t change you. I wouldn’t do that while you were unconscious, Ilara. Jocelyn and Zara did it. I was out of the room. We just wanted to make you more comfortable, so you could rest. Sugarplum is almost done with her bath. Would you like to take one? I can get you some towels and stuff.”
I didn’t know what to say. A bath sounded like heaven. I hadn’t been able to take one for six months. It was mainly sponge baths or quick showers if I could find one. As I thought about it, he picked a squealing Hope out of the water. She was dripping water all down the front of him.
“Here, let me. She’s getting you soaked. I’m sorry about your floor. She likes to splash.” I hurried over to them. He shook his head as he wrapped a towel around her.
“She’s fine and the bathroom will survive. I won’t melt. She’s fun to watch. I think we got her all clean. At one point she scared me to death when she put her face in the water.” He was busy drying her off as he talked.
“Oh, yeah, she likes to do that. I started her when she was tiny, teaching her to get used to it on her face. Babies can swim instinctively, you know. I wanted her to learn when she’s small. She hasn’t gotten to do it for a while.”
He carried her into the bedroom and over to his dresser and that’s when I saw her diaper bag. He pulled out a diaper and a clean set of pajamas. He came back and put her on the bed. “I can do that, Bear,” I told him again.
“I know, but I want to. It’s been a while and I have to keep up my skills.” He smiled at her as she kicked her legs. He tickled her tummy then said, “Stay still, Hope.” She lay quietly there for him. When he had on her diaper and then her pajamas, he picked her back up. She was clinging to him. My heart hurt to see a man cuddling my daughter like that—the way a father would cuddle his kids. It pained me to think she’d never have that, certainly not from her sperm donor. He was never getting near her.
“Now, why don’t we let Momma take a nice long bath. You and I can go downstairs and play. What time does she usually go to bed at night? Does she take milk or anything before she does?”
I knew my mouth was hanging open in shock. “Uh-uh. She goes down around ten. I usually don’t give her anything to drink before bed unless it’s a few sips of water. She does well and can make it until six in the morning most nights if I do that.” I looked around. The clock on the nightstand showed it was already ten thirty. “I need to feed her and get her to sleep, Bear.”
“She’s had her dinner. We’ll get her back on her schedule tomorrow night. You take your bath and if you want something else to wear, any of the shirts in my top drawer should be good. There’s an extra toothbrush under the sink. Tomorrow we’ll get your stuff from your car.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he put his finger over my lips. “You wanna talk, we’ll do it after your bath and after she’s asleep, okay?”
I nodded slowly. I wasn’t sure why I was agreeing with him. He went into the bathroom and came back a couple of minutes later, then left the room. I stood there for a moment, then went into the bathroom. I quickly ran water in the tub. He must have cleaned up the water because the floor was now dry.
When it was full and I sank into the water, I sighed in bliss. I was so caught up in the feeling, I had no idea I’d been in there long until I realized the water was cooling off. I let some out and topped it off again before I got down to washing. I saw not only had he put soap, a washcloth, and had shampoo and conditioner waiting, but he’d laid out a razor and shaving cream.
It was heaven to wash my hair. I slathered on the conditioner and let it soak. While it did, I shaved my legs, my armpits and even my bikini line. I hated being furry down there. I usually kept it trimmed close or with barely a strip of hair. I hadn’t been able to do anything about that for a while. When I was done shaving, I washed all over and then rinsed my hair and body.
After I got out of the tub, I rinsed and scrubbed it before I found the toothbrush and brushed my teeth. On the sink was a comb. I ran it through my hair then quickly braided it. I took a look at myself in the mirror. There was a bruise on my right upper cheek. My eyes were red rimmed still, and I looked tired. Oh well, it wasn’t like I was trying to attract him. He would have to deal with it.
When I came downstairs, I saw light coming from the left. I followed it and found the living room. He was lying on the couch with Hope on his chest. The television was on low and he was watching the news. When he saw me, he turned it off and sat up carefully. He had his arm around her back.
“Hey, baby, do you feel better? Was there anything you needed that I forgot? I didn’t have any lotion, but we can get some tomorrow. Same thing with your brand of shampoo, conditioner, and other stuff.”
“Bear, it was perfect. There’s no need to get me my own stuff. Thank you, I feel much better. I know it’s late. Can we stay here for the night? In the morning we can go get my car. We’ll be out of your hair, I promise.” He frowned then stood up and came over to me.
“Let’s put her down, then we can talk. Come on.”
I followed him warily up the stairs. He stopped at a door before his bedroom. He opened it and turned on a light. Inside was another bedroom, only this was set up as a child’s room. It had a crib in it and a small toddler’s bed. He took Hope over to the bed and laid her down in it, pulling up the covers.
When he stood up, I asked him, “Whose room is this? I thought you said you didn’t have kids.”
“I don’t. But sometimes our Dublin Falls chapter will come to visit and they have lots of them, plus, now some of my brothers here are having them. I wanted them to have a place to stay when they needed it, or if I was babysitting.”
“You have all this in case someone needed it? Bear, who does that?”
“I do. Let’s talk.” He held out his hand. I hesitated. She’d never been without me at night. I wasn’t comfortable having her where I couldn’t see or hear her. He grabbed my hand and led me to her. “Give her a kiss. She’ll be fine.” As I did, he went to the table in the corner. When he came back, he had a small device in his hands. I saw it was a baby monitor, only this one also had a camera. He pointed to it. I nodded and we left the room. He even had a night-light on the dresser he clicked on for her. When we got in his room, I didn’t know what to say or where to sit. He nodded toward the bed. “Why don’t you sit and relax? I need about ten minutes to shower then I’ll be ready. Is that okay?”
“Sure, that’s fine.”