“Then you have to let me do this. I promise that I’ll be as safe as possible, and I’ll be in constant contact. I just want to start feeling like myself again, and as much as I just want to stay in bed with you all day long, I can’t live like this.” I grab hold of his hand and hope he sees that I’m telling him the truth. Mostly.
“Fuck, fine. I will know who you are going with and where you’re going. I want to know when you leave, and there’ll be no fucking bar hopping. You pick one, and you stay there,” his voice is gruff and leaves no room for argument.
“Yeah, absolutely.” I smile bright and hope a little, and he rolls his eyes at me.
“Ugh, only you would get me to agree to something like this.” He pulls me closer, and I snuggle into his side.
* * *
Madelaine links her arm with mine as we walk into the bar lounge behind Corentina, Sabine, and Olivia. They were all so happy to hear that I wanted to go out that they set up everything for me to feel secure for the next night.
I make sure to check in with Malcolm every few minutes just so he knows that nothing is going on, and if I’m honest, it makes me feel better knowing that he’s only one panicked message away.
“You look so good, Désirée. Seems like Malcolm is taking good care of you,” Corentina says the second we all find a booth to sit down.
I can’t help the blush that explodes on my face as I shrug.
“Oh no, you don’t. What’s that? What’s going on with you and Malcolm?” Madelaine asks, leaning in closer to me.
“Did it work? Did you do what I said?” Olivia waggles her eyebrows.
“Can I at least get a drink in my system before we get into all of this?” I laugh, and they all say no at the same time.
The waitress walks over and takes everyone’s order. We all order margaritas except for Olivia. Since she’s pregnant, she orders orange juice with a cranberry splash.
We talk about nothingness until the waitress comes back with our drink, and before I finish taking a sip, they’re asking me what’s going on with Malcolm again.
“Fine, yes, Malcolm and I are together.”
“I fucking knew it! I knew it would work.” Olivia grabs hold of my leg and gives it a squeeze.
“Yeah, but now I have a problem.” I take another sip.
“What’s wrong?” Sabine asks. Her eyebrows cinch in, and she puts her glass down. A picture of seriousness erasing all humor from her face.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I’m making a bad decision doing this or not. Yeah, I want to be with him. We’re freaking awesome together, and I know he’ll take care of me, but what happens if Félix needs to marry me off? I don’t think I’ll be able to just let him go. I don’t know if I’m setting myself up for a world of hurt or not. Then secondly, I swear the man is going to have a heart attack. He worries about me so much. I know he’s worried about something happening to me again, but he’s just so intense.”
“Yeah, Félix isn’t going to marry you off,” Madelaine says right away, and we all turn to look at her.
I bristle slightly, “You seem awfully confident about that.”
“I am. Look, Malcolm put his claim on you a long time ago. Félix knows and respects that. He’s not going to go against a claim already set when he knows that it would cause problems with you and his best friend. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to that.”
“You think so?” I relax a little and look at the rest of my family.
“Absolutely,” Olivia says. “As for him being intense about your safety, you only feel that way because you didn’t see what he was like when you were missing.”
“Oh boy, that was rough.” Corentina nods her head and takes a long sip of her drink.
“What do you mean?” I really hadn’t talked much about what was happening when I was locked up in that hell hole with Dimitri.
“Désirée, the man was nearly out of his mind. He’d go days with no sleep just because he thought he had a lead on where you were. He hunted down everyone that might know where you were and when none of that panned out, he beat himself up for not protecting you better. He lost a big part of himself when you went missing. Now that he’s finally got it back, I doubt he’s ever going to loosen up about your security. Don’t be so hard on him. It is obvious to everyone that he loves you even if the both of you are just skating around it.” Olivia finishes.
I never thought about how my disappearance might have affected Malcolm. I knew everyone was upset, but I didn’t think that it would be as life-altering as the girls are making it seem.
“I guess I never looked at it that way.” I picked up my drink and took another sip.
Having this girls’ night was a good idea. Not only do I feel more like my old self, but I also feel more secure when it comes to my relationship with Malcolm. After the girls put my fears to rest, I sat back and just listened to them talk about what’s going on in their lives, work, and the family. It’s amazing how much I missed in the time that I was away. It makes me sad to know that all of this happened when I was chained and being beaten up, but I’m proud to say I lived through it, and even though I’m still dealing with the effects, I can honestly say that I’m getting stronger and stronger every day that passes.
As the night goes on and I finish my drink, I start to get an uneasy feeling. It feels like someone is watching me, but when I turn to see, I don’t notice anything out of the ordinary. I guess when it comes to socializing, this is all I can take. I’m trying to focus on the girls, but the longer I sit here, the more uncomfortable I get.
When someone drops a glass behind us, and I nearly jump out of my skin, we decide it’s time to call it a night. I look at my sisters’ faces just to make sure no one is mad, but all I see is acceptance and happiness. I know Dimitri could have killed me in that room, and I’m so grateful that I get another chance to show my family just how much they mean to me.