17
Chapter 17 Karly
Shit.Burning hot tears welled in my eyes as I turned to look at the other guys in horror. What the hell just happened? One minute I was having a lovely embrace with Rory and everything felt right with the world. I was all warm and fuzzy, daydreaming about the waves of orgasmic pleasure the men gave me last night. But then he ruined it by splashing ice cold hard questions in my face. Questions I definitely wasn’t prepared to deal with. How could I know if I was in love with these men and I wanted more from them? I couldn’t, especially when I was trying not to focus on that because I didn’t want to get my heart broken when they all got back on that racetrack to fight for the princess’s hand in marriage.
“What happened?” Chase asked me in shock. “I thought we were all about to share in some good news.”
“G-good news?” I stammered awkwardly, blinking furiously to try to stop the tears from dripping down my cheeks. “What do you mean?”
“We just saw Ben in the dining hall and he said he’s organized a camping trip for all of us. I thought that would be really cool. A good way for us to hang out.”
Oh God, Ben really was the best. He was more than willing to help me out with my love life because he knew I was on the fence about everything. I honestly wasn’t sure I ever would have organized it. The fact that I’d just fucked everything up was proof of that.
“I…I need to go.” It wasn’t an answer and it definitely wasn’t an explanation, but I needed to get the hell out of here. “I need some space, I have to…”
I grabbed my crutches. Much as I wanted to leave them behind because it would save me time, there was no way I wanted to put my leg through any worse. I fucked up everything, didn’t I? No one stopped me or said anything as I headed towards the bedroom door. I could only assume they were just as upset with me as Rory was because I didn’t wear my heart on my sleeve. Did none of them understand that if I threw my heart in the middle of the road, I was afraid it might get run over by an eighteen-wheeler? Alek had to see it because he understood me, he’d known me for years. But he wasn’t saying a thing. He let me leave just like everyone else did.
I was glad, though, because I really did need some space. I just needed some time and space to breathe. And I needed to talk to Ben to find out what was going on.
On the walk to Ben’s room, or the hobble, I should say, my mind raced at a million miles an hour. Last night was insane, I didn’t go into Alek’s room knowing that was going to happen. None of us could have predicted it, especially because of the situation surrounding us, but it just sort of happened. It was as natural as breathing and as wonderful as magic. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me. But I couldn’t just wake up from that with all the answers all of a sudden. Life didn’t work that way. Didn’t Rory get that? Things had just changed, shifted completely, and now I was just expected to know what I wanted? Even if I understood that it was a fair question, it was still too soon for me to just snap my fingers and have an answer.
There’s a definite connection, my brain screamed at me. Although that was only really true if all of us were there. Sure, I’d fallen for Alek without even knowing the other three men, but it wouldn’t be the same now. I knew it needed to be all of us or it wouldn’t feel quite as magical. I needed that magic, which I guess was why I needed to make my mind up quickly. If I wasn’t careful, I could lose one of these men to the competition and the princess. Then there would be no going back.
The sad thing was Ben had done a really great thing for me by organizing the camping trip. It would have given us time and space away from the pressures of the Astro Games to at least wrap our heads around one another and the possibility of a life together. One night that came out of nowhere just couldn’t do that for me.
I was on the right floor now, about to burst into Ben’s room to ask him for advice, but something stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t want to rely on my friend for everything. There was something I wanted to do first, just to take control into my hands for a moment. Hatcher was the only person who hadn’t really said anything in that room, so he was the one I felt most comfortable reaching out to. He was calmer, less hot headed than the other guys, so if I was going to speak to anyone right now, it was him.
“Karly,” he answered the phone eagerly. “Is everything alright?”
“This camping trip,” I managed to rasp out. “Do you think it’s a good idea?”
“Oh, for sure!” he agreed instantly. “I think it’s a great idea. I mean, we have time, we don’t need to be on the track again until the second round.”
The second round.That made my heart sink. By the time the second round of the competition came around, I could already be closer to losing everything. I swallowed hard, not liking the way that made me feel. “Right, and do you think the others will want to…?”
“Alek and Chase were really interested when Ben mentioned it, and I know they still are.” He knew I wasn’t really asking about them. “And Rory… I will speak with Rory, but I’m sure he wants to come as well. His little blow up this morning isn’t what you think. I can see he’s just worried about losing you. He felt such a sudden, powerful connection with you, we all did,” Hatcher admitted. “And he knows it’ll hurt to be away from you. I know he’ll jump on the chance to camp out in nature with you.”
His words nearly knocked me off my feet because what he was describing sounded a lot like love. Was it? Real, ever-lasting love?
“But what about the Astro Games?” I asked him a little meekly. “What about everything here? This is my point, we can’t just ignore it…”
Hatcher sighed heavily, sounding like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I know, it is something we need to consider, but I really do feel like this is something we shouldn’t ignore. I think we’re meant to be together, that Rory was right about our harem being perfect.”
“How can you be so sure?” I pleaded with him, because I wasn’t sure of anything.
“You feel it too,” he said, sounding confident. “This connection between all of us is rare. It’s powerful and meaningful. More importantly, it’s real.”
I knew Hatcher didn’t want to go all in on the competition anyway, it was more of an adventure for him, but it wasn’t the same for Alek. This was all his lifelong dream. All he ever cared about. I guess this was something we could only really work out away from here, away from everyone and everything. It would give us much more of a chance of coming up with a proper solution anyway. Scary as it was, because who knew which way it would go?
“We will come for you later,” Hatcher confirmed, sensing my awkwardness. “Once we’re ready to go.”
I agreed with him before hanging up the phone and continuing on to Ben’s room. I still needed my friend’s advice on the harem and the camping trip so I could figure out what to do next. I also needed to thank him for taking that step for me, for organizing the camping trip. I didn’t deserve a friend who was so good to me.
* * *
Let go,Ben’s words of advice circled through my brain as I paced my room, waiting to be picked up for the camping trip. Enjoy yourself, just see how you feel. Don’t put pressure on yourself.
That was easy for him to say, but not so straight forward for me to put into practice. I kept trying to tell Ben that there was pressure on us that we couldn’t ignore, but Ben just said that while we were out in the wilderness, we had to push it all to one side. Otherwise we would end up making a decision that wasn’t right for any of us. That was what scared me the most. Making the wrong choice. What would we even do if we decided this was right for us?