Didn’t she get it? Didn’t she understand that I would give it all up for her if she asked me to? I would happily walk away from the Astro Games for the chance to be with Karly. I didn’t know about the other guys, I couldn’t speak for them, but I knew where I stood. But I sure as shit wasn’t going to walk away from anything if she didn’t want me. Not a chance. I had to have something to hold on to. Why the hell wouldn’t she just tell me? She couldn’t throw the ‘it’s too soon’ card in my face because I knew she felt the same way I did. There was no way I was alone in all of this.
“If you’re just going to toy with me, then I’m out. We’ll call it fun. Whatever.” I wanted to push her, to shove her toward making the right choice, the answer we all knew was coming, but it backfired completely.
“Wait, I—”
I held up my hands to silence her because I knew this wasn’t going to go well. I could tell by her tone of voice that she wasn’t about to willingly throw herself into my arms to love me forever. I couldn’t stand it. I was so willing to give her everything, I couldn’t have nothing in return. It caused a vice-like grip to take hold of my chest as it truly struck me what a fool I’d been. I needed to get out of here before the walls well and truly closed in on me. The tightness was making it hard for me to breathe, and my heart thundered so hard I feared it might explode out of my ribcage. I couldn’t even stand to look at Karly because the pain was just too much.
Just as I decided it couldn’t get any worse, the door swung open and the other guys came back. I couldn’t get my clothing on quick enough.
“Whoa, what happened?” Alek picked up on the change in the atmosphere quick enough. “Why is everything weird?”
I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut, but I couldn’t. The anger and emotion were too much. It was all bubbling to the surface, waiting to burst free. I couldn’t shut the volcano down before it erupted.
“Save yourself the trouble of asking Karly what she wants,” I growled. “Because she doesn’t know, she isn’t thinking further than fun right now.” I sounded horrible, and somewhere in my brain I knew that, but I just couldn’t stop. “I know what I want.” I pressed my hands to my chest. “I want Karly, I want this.” I shrugged as if this was completely obvious. “I know I do. And sure, maybe it is too soon. It probably is too soon, but this harem is perfect for me. Last night just proved that. I am sure what I want, but if Karly isn’t…if you guys aren’t, then I don’t want to waste any more of my time.”
No one said a thing, they all stood there in silent shock, which only made me realize I was the only one sure of what I wanted. What the hell was that? My bear bristled to the surface as I stormed out the room, deciding that if this wouldn’t work, then I needed to focus on the games. I had to put my heart and mind into something else, because clearly Karly and the harem was a dead end.