That should terrify him, but it didn’t. He closed his eyes and felt the hand on his throat tighten until he could barely breathe. Swirling in the passion, the heat between them that had been steadily warming for months, and finally, there it was, against a wall in a mansion.
He was panting, bringing in as much air as Lee would allow, because he was in charge. Disbelief ruled him all the time since the compound in Mexico, making him think that Lee would remain a man controlled by others. Right then, no one controlled Lee Madison.
“Please, Lee. Please, take me. I want you so bad…”
“I should break you into pieces, Eli. I should teach you the kind of lesson you’d never forget.”
Eli thought frantically that Lee was past wanting him sexually and he’d pushed him too far. Lee would take his life, damning the consequences, but to be in his hands, being controlled by him, Eli found he didn’t fear him.
He wanted him. As long as he’d denied it to himself, he wanted the man so much he’d beg for the rest of his life if he was allowed to have one.
Lee moved then, taking him along until Eli was tossed onto the bed and Lee was there, glaring at him with something akin to hatred. “I’m listening, you fuck. Beg me.”
Eli moved up on his elbows, though his arms and legs were nearly numb. He felt so much right then, and not even philosophy could explain it. It was beyond poetry, prose, expressions of emotion. Whatever was in Lee’s eyes and in their bodies, in that moment, was pure animal instinct.
And his was to beg.
“Lee, I want you. I need you. We don’t get along, fine, we’re not getting married. I won’t hurt you, Lee. I won’t tell anyone about you. All I want right now, right here, is you to fuck me like you hate me.”
Buttons flew as Lee pulled the front of his shirt apart, and then it slid off his shoulders so slowly, he thought he was in a film and the editor had slowed the action. In those slow moments, he watched Lee’s eyes flashing, his mind working, probably deciding if he wanted to fuck Eli before he killed him.
Then, he whispered, low and menacingly, “Get your clothes off while I watch you.”
Eli groaned from a place inside him he didn’t recognize.
Feeling like he was swimming in hot tar, he moved and his skin, so sensitive every movement hurt, finally pulling his shirt over his head, and tossing it to the floor. “L-like that?”
“Yeah. Keep going.”
For all the days of remarking how a man like Lee could be so submissive, in every sense, doing as his father and mother told him, he was nothing but dominant in that moment. The alpha male his party was so proud of but had so few of, but there he was. Lee took that and ran with it, being the strong one, the man in charge. Eli never thought he could be so attracted to that, but he was, wanting more of it.
Lee kept his eyes on Eli, and Eli got to his feet so he could unfasten his khakis and push them over his hips. And Lee helped him by yanking down his briefs. “Get quicker.”
After he said that, Lee pushed Eli down on the bed again, sneering.
“Lee…What’s wrong? What can I do?”
“You can shut the fuck up. That’s what you can do.”
Eli had known Lee had it in him but had yet to see it. His entire body tingled in need for the man, and he was getting what he needed.
Lee crawled over him, setting his hand on Eli’s throat again, but it wasn’t tight. No, he moved down over him, setting his mouth on Eli’s, thrusting his tongue into Eli’s mouth, kissing in violently, and pushing his hips into Eli’s dick, grinding his pants and what was contained there into him.
“Lee, please, I’ll do anything. I will. Just…slow down.”
“No. If I slow down, I’ll stop. If I stop, I’ll never touch you again.”
They locked eyes and Eli read him then, like he’d never read Lee or anyone. He was afraid. He was dying inside from lacking the strength to have any real purpose. Eli would become that purpose.
He lifted his head and started to kiss Lee hard, hoping that was enough to tell him he wanted it, whatever Lee had in mind. Even if Lee killed him, he knew his own purpose would have been to help the man that felt as though he were drowning on dry land.
Lee moved on him, holding him impossibly tight, kissing his mouth, his neck, biting his lip, needing more, and he’d take more.
He only moved off Eli to finish undressing and give Eli orders. “Get the lube from my bathroom. It’s way back in the bottom of the linen closet. There are rubbers there too.”
It was poignant, his hiding the instruments for his lust. As Eli went into the magnificent bathroom, huge tub taking up the center of the white dream, he felt his heart ache for him. He’d been terrible to him, goading him to come out, but how could he? Like so many others, Lee was in a kind of hell, hiding himself from his own family. Only Lee had it worse, as the people he represented also would hate him. Not all, of course. Some thought it didn’t bother them, but the religious right had dug themselves into a hole they’d never get out of.
He looked for and found the linen closet by the double sinks and opened it, seeing the neat stacks of expensive towels. When he’d first moved into the mansion, he remarked to himself that one of those towels he’d found in his own bathroom could feed him for a month.