“And you did?” I snarl, advancing on my uncle. “You left her alone with a Dark Fae from the Underworld?”
“Not at first,” Heph says with his chin lifted. “I refused, even though he could’ve killed me with a snap of his fingers. But then he told your mom that he had the answers to her problems, but he wanted privacy with her. Your mom insisted I leave.”
“You shouldn’t have,” I accuse, but I also know it might be unfair to say that. If Heph didn’t leave, my mom could’ve easily bent distance with Amell for privacy somewhere else if she was intent on hearing what he had to say.
“So you don’t know what happened?” Bastien presses.
“I do, because Selena told me later. Amell said that Jaron was physically unable to have children but that he could help get her pregnant. He promised her the child would look like Selena so Jaron would never know.”
“And she took his word for it?” My voice is shrill, unrecognizable. “She trusted an evil creature from Hell?”
“Whatever her frame of mind was at that time, she did.”
“And exactly how did he help her get pregnant?” Acidic fury burns in my chest, and it threatens to choke me.
“Your mom didn’t tell me the details, only that Amell wanted something from her. She never told me exactly what happened, but—”
“He forced her—”
“No,” Heph cuts in over me. “She assured me she wasn’t forced to do anything she wasn’t willing to do, and she actually seemed grateful for it. She was at peace after her meeting with him, but if you’re asking whether you were conceived the old-fashioned way, then the answer is yes. Your mother had sex with Amell, and she conceived that very night.”
It takes all my will to choke my next words. “Did my father know?”
Heph smiles at me sadly. “I don’t know. Selena and I never talked about it again.”
“What was in it for Amell?” Bastien asks. “I can’t imagine he did it out of the goodness of his heart. He’s a Dark Fae.”
“I never knew,” Heph replies. “But I know there was some favor owed. I know Selena felt that the gift of conception was worth the infidelity against Jaron.”
That word.
Infidelity.
I can’t wrap my head around my mother doing such a thing. The love she shared with my father was so pure and infinite. She’d never betray him in such a way, and part of me hates Heph for destroying my image of her.
“I need some air,” I reply, tugging my hand from Bastien’s and walking out of the cottage.
Bastien won’t follow because he knows me well. He knows there are times when my upset requires solitude, just as he knows there are times when I need something simple… like the touch of his hand on mine just moments ago.
How could this be? How could I never have had even a hint that Jaron wasn’t my father?
My biological father, I mean. He was truly my father, and it doesn’t matter if he didn’t have a hand in creating my physical form. He had a direct hand in creating everything else about me, and there is so much of him in me, I can look in the mirror every day and see him smiling back.
I walk to the pond and sit on a bench under a paper birch tree that filters the light into pink dapples on the ground at my feet.
Shadow magic.
Heph says I have shadow magic inside of me but how does he know for sure? Is it a guess, or did I show abilities at some point? Did Amell tell my mother I would have that part of him?
A horrific thought strikes deep, and I almost can’t breathe. What if Amell wanted a child to help him rule the Underworld? What if he gave me shadow magic so that he could one day drag me under to live with him?
I jump off the bench, looking around wildly. My chest heaves as fear threatens to suffocate me. I’m consumed by an overwhelming urge to run as far away as possible. Back to the First Dimension… or another dimension. Anywhere he can’t find me. I’ll live the rest of my days alone and I’ll give up everything, but I’m not about to become—
“Easy, now.” Bastien’s voice surrounds me, as do his arms. I hadn’t realized he’d come out of the cottage. “I got you. Deep breaths.”
I turn and burrow in tight and let him hold me. I don’t need long, because he’s reminded me that I’m not alone.
“What’s the play?” I finally ask as I tip my head back.
He loosens his hold so he can look at me. “We need to know about the shadow magic. Heph says that Amell told your mother you would be part fae and have abilities. He called it shadow magic because it would be inside you, hiding in the corners, ready for you to use when you needed.”