I nod, hugging him again.
“And you don’t have to spill your blood to get me to come,” he says as an afterthought. I blink at him in surprise, and he grins. “That’s just good dramatics. You only need to reach out with your thoughts, and I’ll hear you.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t give up on Bastien,” he says. I jolt in shock at the proclamation.
“You hate Bastien,” I say with a cocked eyebrow.
“Yes, I do,” he replies proudly. “I’d kill him, if I didn’t think it would drive you away from me, because he’s hurting you. But… I also know he’s your soul mate, and I will grudgingly admit that he’s not overly stupid. I think there’s a possibility he’ll come to his senses.”
“But you told him to leave me alone,” I exclaim. “He’s thinking about leaving Vyronas after all this is done.”
“Do you honestly think that man will do one thing I suggest?” Amell asks dryly.
“Probably not,” I admit.
Amell takes my hands and squeezes. “I hope you get what your heart desires. You deserve it. And if you don’t, know there is nothing the gods could ever say to prevent me from killing him, if you want me to.”
I laugh. “I think I can handle Bastien just fine.”
“I think you can too,” he replies, thousands of years of wisdom coating his words. “You are my daughter and a shadow princess. There’s not much you can’t do.” He steps backward. “Until we meet again.”
Amell disappears, presumably to the pub but thereafter, back to the Underworld, and I miss him already.
CHAPTER 29
Thalia
I sit at the kitchen table, thumbing through the journals I’ve been keeping on all the preparations for our march on Kestevayne. It’s overkill, really. I’ve checked everything again and again, and we’re as ready as we will ever be.
We’ve finished all the potions, spells, amulets, and charms to help our forces cross Ferelith’s barriers, bend distance in large groups, and repel her blood magics. Tonics to amp power have been distributed and consumed. The rest of the townspeople are back to their regular jobs, waiting on us to now end the war so we can all go home to Kestevayne.
Heph is out with the Conclave members, shoring up the protective cloak around Clairmont. We added my blood and infused it with my shadows, making the cloak even harder to pierce.
But because we will never again assume we’re invincible, Kieran has also stationed forces outside the cloak in all directions to stop anyone who might get too close. We’re no longer hiding because there’s no sense in it. We’re doing all we can to ensure that no enemies get through in these last few days before we march.
The only thing left to finish is an incantation I’ve created—a magical theory, really—and the Scrinia will test it out tonight. I wanted a way for our soldiers to be hidden as we move closer to Kestevayne. I’ve mixed salt with my blood and shadows, resulting in a very powerful mixture that can be molded to my will, and I’ve asked the shadows to hide my people once the sun sets. It seemed to work well enough when I created and tested it on Heph, but I need to be sure it will cover thousands. If it works, we can move on Kestevayne at night and blitz attack Ferelith.
I glance up from the journals and stare at the spell book Amell gave me yesterday before he left. I haven’t had the courage to open it yet, but it calls to me. Just as I could feel darkness inside Amell, I can feel it inside the book. And it’s more than just being filled with dark magics.
I also feel its intent, and much of it is evil. The contents inside want to hurt, maim, and maul. They want blood to flow and victims to perish.
I shudder even thinking about reading that stuff. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to.
While Amell might be dark and far from a good guy, he also has the capacity to love and show goodness. He told me that whether we have dark or light inside us, it’s always the actions we should examine to determine someone’s true nature.
The book’s nature isn’t exactly clear. I somehow know it can’t act on its own without me enacting spells, but I can tell it wants me to use it in the darkest of ways.
And while the thought of doing so is abhorrent—that I might feel compelled to give it a whirl—I find it more appealing to consider it as an option versus thinking about Bastien. I have no clue if I’ll ever see him again. He’ll lead the charge into Kestevayne. He could be killed.
He could succeed and leave Vyronas immediately upon victory.
But I refuse to go to him and ask again. I drew the line, and although Amell seems to think Bastien will come to his senses, I can’t spend time worrying about it. While I care for him with all my heart and will die one day with that same unrequited love inside me, he’s not what’s most important right now.