It’s far more likely my parents—if they’re still alive—have more in common with Helen’s fucked-up family than with Patroclus’s moms. Every time I get a reminder of it, the flicker of gratitude is something I hold close. It still feels shitty to be reminded of it while Helen is being hurt by her family’s carelessness. “I’m sure he had a reason,” I finally say. The words feel flat and wrong.
Helen doesn’t smile, doesn’t so much as look at me. She’s holding herself so tightly, as if worried she’ll shatter. I don’t like that shit. I don’t like it at all. “He always does.” She sounds tired. No, beyond tired. She sounds the kind of exhausted that comes from fighting an uphill battle on a timeline numbered in years.
I have the strangest impulse to tell her that I’ll take up both sword and shield for a little while, give her time to rest. I won’t say it, though. Who the fuck am I to offer her that? She wouldn’t trust it; she’s too smart to, even if there are no strings attached.
Patroclus frowns. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would he interfere with Athena’s ability to get answers from the prisoner when his little sister is the one who was attacked? We need to know who the attacker was working for and how they got into the building. Even if a different champion was the target, it will make both Zeus and Athena look weak if this gets out.”
“It won’t get out. Not from me or my people.” Bellerophon shifts from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable with this conversation. They tend to prefer working behind the scenes where they don’t have to interact with victims of any sort. Helen isn’t a victim, but this is still a shitty piece of news to have to convey. They finally clear their throat. “Helen, I can put a pair of guards on you to ensure your safety.”
“That won’t be necessary.” I push slowly to my feet. “With all due respect, Bellerophon—”
They roll their eyes, relaxing for the first time since they stepped into the room. “I don’t know why you start like that when you’re about to say something disrespectful.”
I ignore the statement because they’re right. “The hole in your people’s security is how this person got into Helen’s room in the first place. We’ll take it from here.”
“We’re Athena’s people, too.”
“I know. I’m not saying any of your team is disloyal, but until we have more information, we assume worst-case scenario.” I shrug. “Besides, your people are good, but we’re still better.”
Patroclus makes a choked sound. “He doesn’t mean it like that.”
“We both know he means it exactly like that.” Bellerophon shakes their head. “If Helen agrees, that’s fine. We’re not in the business of policing what the champions do in between trials as long as no one’s being threatened or made to be uncomfortable.”
Helen finally stirs. “I’m fine staying here.” She’s still got her arms wrapped around herself too tightly, and I don’t like the look in her eyes. She seems…cornered. Again, that ridiculous fucking impulse rises to tell her she has nothing to worry about, that we’ll protect her. We already offered to play bodyguard, but not even a bodyguard can protect the precious princess from her own family.
I want to, though. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do with that.
“Let me know if that changes. The second trial begins tomorrow. Try to stay out of trouble until then.” Bellerophon turns and leaves the room at a pace just shy of running.
I turn and catch Patroclus’s eye. He still looks confused, but I shake my head slightly to indicate that it’s time to drop the topic. Helen’s still bracing like she’s going to be bashed over the head, and I highly doubt trying to figure out why her brother is being a dick is going to help her feel better.
I want her to feel better.
She’s mine, after all.
I know better than to say as much, but sometimes in life, I come across a thing or goal and I know it’s meant for me. It doesn’t usually happen with people. In fact, it’s only ever happened once. Patroclus. After our first week in Ares’s boot camp, I knew he was meant for me and I was meant for him, that we’d be part of each other’s lives in a permanent kind of way.
The feeling about Helen isn’t identical, but it’s similar. I didn’t really understand until it was the three of us together, but she fits us in a way no one else has before. With her in the mix, it feels like it could make our pair even better, something I didn’t think possible before this tournament.
I can be patient when the goal is worth it, and right now it’s worth it. If I tell Helen she’s meant for me, she’ll take it as me talking about Ares and marrying her again, and it’ll just piss her off.