His eyes are still wide, but he’s nodding now. “I like where this is going. Shows some real growth, buddy. I’m proud of you. I also think I just had a fucking heart attack.”
“See? I’m terrified I’m going to give her a heart attack too. Our relationship is new. Really new. But I want her, George.”
His expression softens. “You think she wants you like that?”
I remember how happy she was line-dancing with me and my family. She’s slept at my place every night since, and she’s already made plans with Shelby for tonight’s sleepover. She smiles all the time now at work and laughs when I join her in the shower every morning.
“I think so, yeah. I’m not sure if she’s in love with me yet, but—”
“But if you giving up this promotion doesn’t seal the deal, I don’t know what will.”
“Exactly. I want to show her I’m all in without, you know, sending her running for the hills or whatever. I don’t want to jeopardize her career or hurt her reputation. But I feel like if I tell her I’m going to give up the promotion, she won’t let me do it. She’s that awesome. But if I don’t give up the promotion, then I risk blowing up one or both of our jobs and our relationship.” I’m tugging both hands through my hair now. “How the hell do I do this?”
Porgeous squints at the horizon, the rising sun setting the sky on fire. “One thing at a time. Start with damage control. If y’all really want to be together, and you still want to keep your jobs at Ass & Titties, one of you is going to have to move to a different group.”
“I’ve thought about that, yeah.”
“So maybe you go to Aiden and ask to be moved to the High-Yield desk or something.”
“They already have an industrials trader.”
He shrugs. “Then you learn a new sector.”
I take a deep breath. Trading a brand-new sector, one I know nothing about, like insurance or utilities, wouldn’t be the worst thing. But it would be taking a step back in my career, as it requires a lot of time to learn new companies, new credits. New clients. I probably won’t make nearly as much P&L the first year or two as I do now, which ultimately means less take-home pay.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d still make really good money. Just not what I’m used to. Rebuilding a whole new franchise from scratch will be hard. And frustrating. And probably embarrassing too. I’m used to knowing my shit inside and out. In many ways, I’ll be the new kid on the desk again.
But I’ll do it if it means keeping Nora in her seat and getting her promoted.
“Won’t be fun,” Porgeous continues, reading my thoughts. “But you know what you’re doing. And while you’re with Aiden, maybe that’s when you tell him to give the promotion to Nora.”
“Because that won’t look suspicious.”
“You’re going to have to tell him about the relationship eventually.”
I tip my head side to side. “You’re right. I just want to do it with Nora’s blessing. That’s a conversation we should have with Aiden together.”
“You could always just ask him to take you out of the running. We all know it was a toss-up between you and Nora anyway. The promotion will go to her, you’ll go to a new desk, and the two of you will live happily ever after.”
“So I don’t tell Nora about talking to Aiden, then.”
Porgeous considers this for a minute. He drapes his arms over his bent knees. “I don’t love the idea of keeping Nora in the dark. But if you really think she’ll try to stop you, I don’t see how else you can pull it off.”
“I just want her to know I’m for real,” I say, flexing my fingers. “I don’t want to tell her I love her without having a plan.”
“Wow. You are in it for real.”
I meet his gaze. “I know you have no interest in hanging up your fuckboy shoes—”
“None at all,” he says proudly.
“But I’ve found her, Porgeous. And I’m not letting her go without a fight.”
He reaches out to pound my shoulder. “Then let’s fight. Go to Aiden. Give up the promotion and get asked to move to a new desk. Say you want a new challenge or some shit if Nora doesn’t want to make your relationship public yet.”
“And then?”
Porgeous shrugs. “Then we hope.”
A beat of silence settles between us as we watch the sun continue to rise. The air’s already warming up. I wonder if Nora is awake yet. I left her sleeping in my bed, and sent her a text when I got to the river saying I’d pick up coffee on my way home. Now I know what Johnny Cash meant when he said heaven was having coffee with June in the mornings.