Chapter 12
~ AVA ~
After Christmas?
My chest heaving, struggling for breath, I lean on the inside of my front door and conjure the image of a calendar in my head as if I need to confirm that “after Christmas” is days from now.
After Christmas?
He expects me to waitdaysuntil I get to see him again?
I should have just said something.
I should have invited him in.
I even shaved, dammit.
But he’s right.Tomorrow’s a workday.And if he follows his usual schedule, that means he’ll be up early, running through our neighborhood in that simple, basic Navy shirt and shorts that somehow still make him look like some kind of an action figure toy my son would get under the tree.
The Harris action figure.
Hell, the way I’m feeling, I might buy one for myself.
With a short work week because of the holiday, he’ll probably be like most people, embroiled in Christmas plans.I even remember him saying something about heading to a friend’s house.
The holidays are a tricky time to start something new.He’s likely smart to suggest we wait until after all the chaos is over, I try to convince myself as I toss my coat onto the sofa.
I shake my head at the idea of the long days ahead of me, almost shivering as I do.Tiny jolts of awareness prickle through me as though my hormones are trying to remind me that yes, they are still there, despite childbirth, divorce, and a dormancy that has lasted years.
Those same pesky hormones that are screaming,“After Christmas simply won’t cut it.”
A small handful of days might be nothing to Harris.
Guys like him have all the time in the world, living alone, not needing to schedule things around the presence of a very adorable but also very nosy eight-year-old.
But for me?That’s several days less that I have my house, my schedule,my lifeall to myself.
And I want him.
I.Want.Him.
Now.Not days from now.
And I’m not going to let another minute pass of this fleeting time when I get to do whatever I want.This brief time when I can let my hormones do the talking.
I grab my keys.
The walk to his place is a thirty-second blur of crunching snow, cold wind, and a heat that radiates from my core, making me not even mind that I’ve forgotten to put on my coat.
I make a beeline past the snowman, stomping up Mrs.Marshall’s driveway, then down his stairs until I find myself staring at his door.
A million words of caution swirl in my head, not registering as more than whispers from a practical side of me that I simply refuse to acknowledge right now.
Tonight, I had a date again with a man who makes me feel things that I had started questioning were even possible for me anymore.Tonight, I only want to take advantage while I can.
I inhale once for courage and rap on his door.
When he opens it, I’m greeted by an eyeful of pecs and abs.