Julia
“I wouldn’t even knowwhat to say.”
I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. Then again, it felt good. It had been far too long. Maybe Naomi had a point. Maybe this was the perfect situation for me.
“I haven’t dated since my twenties,” I reminded her as I returned to the table and sat. “And even then, I was the one being asked out, not the other way around.”
“You’re not asking him out,” she argued, retaking her chair. “This isn’t a going steady situation, Ann-Margaret.”
I scrunched my brow. “What?”
“You know. Ann-Margaret. Played Kim McAffee in Bye Bye Birdie. There’s that song early in the movie when they sing about going steady. But whatever. We’re not talking about movies. We’re talking about what you want. So just tell him precisely that. Here…”
She straightened in her chair, clearing her throat, turning into the put-together businesswoman she was.
“Let’s practice.” She formed her hand into an imaginary telephone and brought it up to her ear.
When I didn’t move, she mouthed, Call me.
“I’m not doing this,” I said dryly.
“Yes, you are.” She grabbed the bottle of wine and poured more liquid encouragement into my glass.
I stared at her for several protracted seconds, then eventually relented. Naomi obviously felt rather strongly about me finally moving on from my past. The least I could do was play along.
“Okay,” I said on a long exhale, feigning annoyance. Then I licked my lips, squaring my shoulders. “Hi, Chris.
“He didn’t hear the phone ring.”
I gave her a disbelieving look. “Seriously?”
“I don’t half-ass anything, particularly role play.” She smirked.
“I don’t need to know the details of your sex life, Naomi, but fine… Ring. Ring.”
“You really shouldn’t call someone on speaker, especially if you’re going to ask them to bang you. I’m not entirely certain of the rules, but I’m pretty sure that’s a no-no.”
Exasperated, I glared at her. “How am I on speaker? This isn’t even real.”
She gestured at me. “I don’t see you holding a phone up to your ear.”
“I’m using my imaginary earbuds.” I gritted a smile. “Ring. Ring,” I said again, watching Naomi.
But she didn’t move.
“It’s ringing,” I sang.
“In my mind, Chris isn’t the type of guy who just waits around for a phone call. It’ll take him a few rings before he answers.”
She smiled sweetly before fixing her expression and clearing her throat, pretending to get into her role.
“G’day, mate. Want to throw another shrimp on the barbie?” she answered in a horrendous Australian accent.
“He does not sound like that. Just… Just speak normally, please.”
“You’re no fun, but fine.” She paused for a beat, then deepened her voice. “Hello.”
I briefly squeezed my eyes shut, feeling like an idiot. But if there was anyone who wouldn’t judge, it was Naomi.