CHAPTER11
The next morningNick woke and couldn’t believe he was still lying in Gillian’s bed, that he spent the night in her arms, loving her. It was better than he’d ever imagined it could be. Her hair tickling his chin and her body moving against him had him thinking of waking her up and making love to her all over again.
However, her parents were in the house. He wondered what they must think. He smiled. They were adults. Consenting adults.
She made little waking noises, turned her head, and smiled up at him. “Good morning.”
His chest tightened. “I’m sorry I’m still here. I should have left last night.”
“No, I’m glad you stayed.” She brushed her hand against his chest, lighting the embers that had already been simmering within.
He nuzzled her warm neck, the smell of her an intoxicating mix of her sweetness and the scent of their lovemaking last night. He hoped he never forgot that scent and hoped he’d never have to try and remember, that she’d stay.
Her lips found his, and she kissed him deeply, her tongue sparring with his, her hand clutching his shoulder. Maybe he was reading more into it than there actually was, but that kiss felt like the real deal. Like what they had between them was more than just two people enjoying each other’s company. That kiss felt like it was reaching him deep inside his soul.
He was doomed.
He kissed her softly and snuggled next to her for a long moment, not wanting the day to start. Finally, he asked the question that had been lingering in the back of his mind for most of the night. “You didn’t want me to wear a condom last night. Why?”
Her smile faded. “I’m sorry about that.”
He waited. He needed to know what she was thinking. He cared about her and hoped she would stay, but he couldn’t give her a baby.
“I don’t know. I just…”
“You understand why we had to use protection?”
“Of course. It was dumb on my part. An emotional reaction to everything that has been happening. I’m so embarrassed.” She sat up, pulling the sheet up with her.
“Don’t be. Talk it out. Tell me what’s going on. I think we have something special here, but we need to keep it real. Be honest with me.”
A touch of sadness entered her eyes. “I’m not sure what happened. Holding Bailey brought back all kinds of emotions I haven’t dealt with very well. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
He stared at the panda sitting in the chair next to the bed. “Are you ready to deal with them now?”
She reached out her hand for the panda, and he handed it to her. She hugged it to her chest. “Losing my baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.” Tears entered her eyes. “It’s not something you just get over.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Your being here helps. Talking about it helps. I’m already beginning to feel again. Last night proves it. I couldn’t sleep with Paul after our loss. Couldn’t even think about having another child with him. But last night, I wanted a child with you.”
He stared at her for a long moment.
“I can see the concern in your eyes, but it’s okay. That means I’m ready to move on. To put Paul and everything that happened between us behind me.”
“Including losing your baby?”
She nodded. “I’ll always miss my baby, but I don’t want the pain to stop me from living. Not anymore.” As she hugged the stuffed animal again, a frown filled her face.
“What is it?”
“There’s something here.” She lifted the panda’s paw and poked underneath its arm. “There’s a hole that’s been recently stitched. Can you hand me those scissors?” She pointed to the scissors on the table inside a pencil holder.
He handed them to her and watched as she cut through the stitching. She pulled out a small plastic baggie holding two small keys from inside the panda.
“What in the world?” She held up the bag. “One looks like a safety deposit box key, but I can’t tell what the other one is.”
“I can.” He pulled his keyring out of his pants pocket and showed her a key that looked like the one in the bag. “It’s to a storage unit lock.”