CHAPTER10
Don’t takethis too far.The warning echoed through Gillian’s mind. They were moving too fast. She didn’t even know how long she planned to stay or what she was going to do with her life. She had better slow this boat down, but his hands were so warm, so…familiar.
He set her on the bed, sitting next to her, his fingers weaving through hers. His lips found hers once more, chasing away all the doubts and fear that had been building within her. Truth was, she loved the way she felt when he kissed her. She always had. His lips moved slow and with purpose.
“How long do you think they’ll be gone?” he asked, around her lips.
“Long enough,” she murmured and shifted closer to him, wrapping her arm around his neck.
He pulled her up into his lap, nestling her onto him, and kissed her deeply, his tongue sending desire flooding through her body. She could feel him beneath her, and a thrill of anticipation flooded her system.
“I missed you so much,” he said.
His words, like balm on an old wound, seeped into her soul. She felt good. She felt safe, and it had been so long since she’d felt that way, that it scared her. She pulled back. “I’m sorry. We can’t. I shouldn’t…”
“What?” His grip on her tightened as if he wasn’t going to let her go. A large part of her didn’t want him to. She wanted him to argue, to cajole, and try to convince her that what they were doing was okay.
But he didn’t.
“I get it.” He took a deep breath, then shifted her off his lap and onto the bed next to him. “I’m sorry. I overstepped. We’re friends. Nothing more.”
She wanted to reach for him. “It’s just… I’m still married.”
“Of course. I knew that.” He shifted over, leaving a foot between them.
“Not here.” She touched her heart. “Not even in my mind. It’s just—”
“You don’t want to rush things. Step into something you might not be able to easily get out of. I get it.”
“I don’t want to hurt you again,” she admitted. “We haven’t talked about what happened before.”
He looked away, thinking, taking his time, choosing his words. She remembered that look. She still knew him so well.
“There’s not much to talk about,” he said finally. “You went off to college and fell in love with someone else.”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t love you.”
“You just loved him more.”
The hurt in his voice tore her up inside. She took his hand. “I didn’t love him more. I’m not sure I even loved him at all.”
“But—” He looked confused.
“Paul was… exciting,” she admitted.
Nick’s eyebrows rose, and she realized her words hadn’t come out right.
“I was so afraid of coming back to this small town. I loved the city—the energy, the restaurants, plays, and games. There was always somewhere to go and something to do.”
“And I never wanted to leave,” he said.
“No, you didn’t. Then I met Paul. He was the farthest thing from anyone you’d meet in Granite Falls. He was worldly, polished, sophisticated, and rich. He took me to fancy dinners and plays. He literally swept me off my feet and into a world I never dreamed I could be a part of.”
“Hard to compete with that,” he admitted.
“I was young and easily seduced.”
“I understand.” A shutter fell over his eyes.