CHAPTER8
Gillian triedto keep a brave front, but odds were, no matter what they did, the Reaves would find a way to steal Nick’s baby. Especially if they were friends with the judges in town. The thought made her sick and reminded her so much of Paul and the way he operated. All those dinner parties were about networking with powerful people in small towns. The big fish in a small pond was his favorite role to play.
“How about we take all this baby stuff back to the house, then you can show me your shop,” Gillian said as he loaded the back seat of his truck with the cartful of supplies. The shop seemed safer than asking him to show her the nursery. Holding Bailey broke her heart, yet soothed it at the same time. She’d have to be careful not to get too close. She hugged herself as she settled into the front seat.
“Cold?” Nick asked, and reached across her to flip on the heat.
She stilled as she became aware of how close he was. Soft flannel rubbed against her arm. She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. She wanted to lean on him, to feel him hold her again, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
“There we go.” He stepped back, and she inhaled a deep breath. “Who knew such a tiny little person would need so much stuff.” He pushed the last bag into the back seat.
“Just wait. She’s going to need a lot more once she gets older.”
“I can’t even imagine.” But even as he grumbled the words, a huge smile filled his face. He climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine.
Who would have guessed fatherhood would look so good on him? Certainly not her. Nor had she thought she still had feelings for him, but here they were coming back to life. As they drove toward the house, she talked nonstop about what he could expect when he brought Bailey home. The midnight feedings, the swaddling, the rocking, she was rambling and tried to get hold of her emotions.
She was so excited for him, even if her heart did ache a little. Thinking about Nick and how handsome he was distracted her from that ache. That was all this was. How many times had she dreamed about bringing her baby home and rocking her to sleep in the new rocking chair she’d bought for the nursery? So many dreams were lost. It was much easier to think about him and Bailey.
“How do you know so much about babies?” he asked cutting into her thoughts.
“Research. I was so excited to become a mom, I read every book I could get my hands on.”
“I’m really sorry about your loss.”
“Thank you. I don’t talk about it much. People say you can try again, and I knew I could, but I also missed the baby I lost. I needed time to grieve. After a while, I became too afraid to try again. I don’t think I could handle it if I lost another.”
He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I hope helping me with Bailey doesn’t bring up too many difficult memories.”
She smiled. “It is, but they aren’t difficult. They’re sweet and sad all rolled up into one, but I don’t mind. I don’t want to forget either.” Her voice broke a little as she said the words, and her heart tightened in her chest. This was the first time she’d been able to talk openly and honestly about her loss with anyone.
“I’m sure you never will.”
Once they got to the house, he carried her inside and set her on the couch while he went back outside for her chair. She hated being so helpless and had a new respect for how difficult simply maneuvering was for people with mobility issues. He came back in and set up her chair, helped her into it, and then unloaded the truck, carrying in all the baby things.
She looked around the house and marveled how it hadn’t changed at all in all the years she’d been gone. Even Mr. Carr’s coffee cups were the same. She smiled, thinking how nice and familiar that was. There was something comforting about things that never change. Nick handed her the bag with the baby clothes and the stuffed giraffe.
“I have a couple more trips. The baby’s room is in the small room next to mine.”
She grinned as she watched him head back out the door then wheeled herself down the hall, heading toward his room, wondering if it too was the same. It was. “How does it feel being back home and in your old room?” She asked as he stopped next to her.
“It’s okay. Sometimes I wake up and for a second I’m worried I’m going to be late to school.”
She laughed. “I know how you feel. My parents were quite insistent that I take a nap. I wonder if they even know I’m gone. Once they find out, my mom will probably be so upset she’ll give me a curfew.”
“Your mom? Yeah, I wouldn’t doubt it. Remember how much trouble she used to give us?”
“Remember? I’ll never be able to forget.”
“Come on. Let me show you Bailey’s room.” He walked into the next room down the hall.
She followed him through the doorway. A crib sat in the corner next to a dresser with a yellow lamp on it.
“Pretty sparse,” he said. “We were lucky a lady from the church had these two items in her attic. I only had to buy a new mattress for the crib.”
“They’re perfect, and think how cute that new mobile will look hanging over it.” She started to unload the bag she’d carried in on her lap. “These blankets are so soft. Here, throw them in the wash so they’ll be ready for her tomorrow.” She handed him all the bedding and the clothes they bought along with the bottle of baby detergent.
He took them from her and left the room. She pulled out the stuffed giraffe and put it on the dresser next to the lamp, her eyes misting slightly. Then she smiled, thinking of holding that sweet baby in her arms earlier. She pushed the thought away, took out her phone, and texted her mom, letting her know where she was.