Alex miraculously shows his face ten minutes before the pizzas arrive, and he demolishes almost half of what Seb ordered, much to his irritation.
“You guys ready for the weekend?”
“The weekend?” I ask.
“Jesus Christ, man. Get your head out of your fucking arse.”
“Or Emmie’s pussy,” Seb scoffs.
“Chance would be a fine thing,” I mutter.
“Ugh, you two have had too much action,” Alex mutters.
“Us two?” I ask. “We all know it’s this motherfucker that has so much sex he should be worried about wearing it out.”
“Never gonna happen, man. My girl takes too good care of it.”
“Prick,” Alex hisses under his breath.
“When was the last time you got laid, Deimos?”
Alex’s teeth grind, giving us both the answer. “Fuck knows, but I do know the next time I’m getting my dick wet,” he announces with a grin.
“Why? You already booked her?”
“Fuck you. I don’t need to pay. That’s Nico’s thing.”
“So…” I prompt.
“This weekend,” he says, his brows wiggling as if I should know what the fuck is happening. “Oxford?” he adds, glaring at me and waiting for the penny to drop.
“Fuck,” I hiss. “That’s this weekend.”
“Bro, where is your fucking head right now? This is the weekend we’ve been fucking waiting for. We’re gonna obliterate those All Hallows fucks and reign supreme over their pussy.”
His face drops when I don't immediately start jumping up and down with excitement.
“Oh no,” he warns. “Don’t even think about coming up with some dumb-arse excuse to get out of this. We’ve been waiting for this for fucking years. It’s our weekend, man.”
I stare at him. One of my two best friends. One of only a handful of people I would pretty much do anything for, and I can literally feel myself being ripped in two, right down the fucking middle.
“Come on, we’ve dreamed about this since the day Coach gave us our places on the fucking team. This is what this year is all about.”
Shoving down my uncertainty, I plaster a smile on my face and give him the words he’s desperate for.
“Mate, I’m not going to fucking bail on Oxford. We’re going to go and smash those stuck-up motherfuckers.”
“But?” he pushes.
“Fuck.” I slump back on the sofa. “What about Emmie? We can’t all just leave town with all this shit going on.”
“She can come.”
“Yes,” Seb hisses, his eyes lighting up in a way I’ve become all too used to since living with him and his walking sex doll. “Pack those Johnnys, boys.”
“U-uh,” Alex stutters. “Fucking hell. We were meant to embark on this weekend single and ready to take on the world.”
“Don’t you worry, my girl is more than prepared for world domination. Pretty sure his shorty will be right there beside her too.”