“Baby,” she breathes. “You’re here.”
“Of course, Mum."
I have so many questions I want to ask her, but I bite them all back. I have no idea how she’s really doing and if she’s up for revisiting any of the past right now.
But as it turns out, I didn’t need to worry, because she’s the one who addresses the issue.
“I need you to get away from Theo Cirillo, Emmie.”
I mean, honestly, after all the lies and manipulation, I couldn’t agree more. But I can’t deny that just thinking about walking away from him twists up my stomach in all the wrong ways.
Blowing out a breath, I drag my chair closer. “I’m going to need some honesty, Mum. Some answers. Are you up for that?”
She nods and swallows nervously.
I’ve got a million questions to ask, but now I’m sitting here, all of them just seem to vanish.
Silence stretches out between us until I start to think that she’s not going to say anything.
“Y-your grandfather, on my side,” she quickly adds. “He was a part of the Cirillo Family.”
My chin drops. I’ve heard hardly anything about Mum’s father over the years. He died when she was a baby, and she grew up with just her mum, who never met anyone else or had any other kids.
“I didn’t know. For years, my mother kept it from me.”
“Why?” I ask quietly, sitting forward in my seat once more, desperate to hear everything she has to say, how I’m linked to all of this.
“She hated them. In her eyes, they killed her husband. They didn’t,” she quickly adds. “But the lifestyle did. It’s dangerous, Em. Those men… they do bad, bad things. They hurt people, they—”
“I know, Mum. I know,” I assure her, but I’m unsure if I have the stomach for her to list out Theo’s and the guys’ crimes right now.
“After he died, she moved us out of London, changed our name back to her maiden and restarted our lives.” I nod, eager for more.
“I had a good childhood, Em. Your nan, she was a fantastic mother. The things she must have gone through to get us the lives we carved out for ourselves after everything.”
“She must have had money, though. The Family, they’re—”
“She had some. But your grandfather apparently spent a little too much time gambling with his earnings, so she never really got to see all that much.”
“Jesus,” I mutter. “Okay, so she moves you out of London as a baby and gives you this insane life. Why the hell are we sitting here right now after all this?”
Her brow furrows as she thinks back.
“I was such a selfish child. Looking back now…” She shakes her head at the memory. “Mum moved us to this peaceful, quiet village. Now I understand why she did it. But when I was a teenager, the country was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted London. I wanted a bigger life. I—”
“You left her behind,” I continue for her.
“Yep, the second I finished school, I packed up and headed for what I thought was going to be the making of me. What Mum didn’t know, though, was that I’d been digging into our past. I’d discovered who my dad really was, and I was blinded by the fantasy of the mafia lifestyle.
“It was stupid. I was naïve. I… I…” She blows out a long, exhausted, pained breath. “I should have listened to my mother and stayed well away from this place.” I rush to say something, but she beats me to it. “But if I did, then I wouldn’t have had you. And Emmie, Lord knows I’ve made more mistakes than either of us can count, but you are the single best thing in my life.
“I wanted so much more for you than I could ever give you. I’ve done everything I could to give you more, more than this bullshit life I’ve been able to provide.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she rips them from me in favour of focusing on the ceiling.
“Mum, it’s okay.”
“No. No, it’s not. All I’ve ever wanted was to give you a good start, but at every turn, all I’ve done is screw it up.”