I collapse into bed later that night after pushing my body to the max, punishing myself for everything I’ve done, all the things I’m inevitably going to do in the future.
Most of which involve her.
He might be right about one thing, though—he does know me better than I thought he did, because I can’t get her body from earlier, her defiance, her confidence, out of my fucking head.
I crack my knuckles, my newest obsession threatening to get the better of me.
It’s dangerous. If I’m caught, I have no doubt that Emmie’s father would find one of his rusty guns and blow my brains out. But it seems the fear just isn’t enough when it comes to my addiction to my feisty little hellcat. Plus, it’s so much easier to appreciate her when she’s not barking insults at me.
Forgetting all the reasons I shouldn’t, I jump back up, my muscles screaming at me with every move, but I don’t stop. I can’t.
I’m just that fucking screwed up.
The drive across town is quicker than usual thanks to the fact that I take the Ferrari, and the traffic is almost non-existent this time of night.
I pull up on the street over from hers so I can slip up the back alleyway between the row of houses unnoticed in the darkness, like I’ve done more times than I want to admit.
The first time I came here was the night after the funeral. The night after she slept in my bed. The night I carried her passed-out arse from the bottom of my parents’ garden, still dripping wet from the pool and with blood trickling down her face from where she’d fallen over.
Getting her in my bed might have been how I secretly wanted the night to end, but her out cold wasn’t quite how I intended it.
I might be a lot of things, and I might be devious when it comes to getting what I want, but I drew the line at fucking her that night.
Maybe I can be redeemed after all. I laugh to myself as I scale the small shed that houses both her and her father’s bikes before jumping over onto the extension roof.
If this setup didn’t allow me easy access to my addiction, then I might be willing to point out to Dawson just how fucking unsafe it is. Especially when she’s always sleeping with the window open.