CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Stella
Seb stares down into my eyes with a look that makes my heart race too quickly.
It’s too much, and I can feel myself closing down again.
I want the truth. I want to know how he really feels, but hearing that he doesn’t actually hate me doesn’t make me feel anything like I expected. I thought I’d be relieved. Relieved that this thing I feel isn’t just one-sided. But, along with all the others, he’s obliterated my trust, and I just can’t find it in myself to believe a word that rolls off his tongue.
My heart desperately wants to, but my head is set on being sensible and protecting my fickle heart.
“I thought that was more of a ‘no one else can have you’ move.”
“Partly,” he admits, lowering his face to mine until our noses brush, “but mostly, it was a ‘you’re mine’ move.”
He captures my lips before I can respond and kisses me so deeply it makes my thighs clench, and all my arguments about his caveman ways fall from my head.
When he finally pulls back, his eyes are dark and full of wicked intent, and his chest is heaving. Seeing that his mask is long gone, I dive into the honesty thing with both feet, risking asking something he’s not going to want to talk about.
“Tell me about Demi,” I whisper.
All the air rushes from his lungs and he rolls onto his back.
I knew that demand would hit him hard, but I wanted to push him. If I’m ever going to trust him, I need to know the hard and ugly shit that makes him tick.
Sensing that he needs it, I tuck myself into his side and place my hand on his abs. His muscles jump at the contact, and I have to smother a smile, knowing that my touch alone affects him.
“She was…” he blows out a long breath. “The most incredible person. Genuine. Kind. Caring. Pretty much everything I’m not.”
I’m not sure if he wants me to argue with him, but I don’t.
“She kept me grounded. Especially after our older sisters, Sophia and Zoe, embarked on their own lives. Things were easier when it was the four of us fighting for survival. But they grew up and left us behind.”
“Fighting for survival?” I ask.
“One disaster at a time, yeah?” His eyes find mine and my breath catches at the dark pools of nothingness that stare back at me.
I nod, allowing him to continue.
“She’d just started working her first job. I’d been making money since I was fourteen, thanks to Damien,but Demi didn’t like it. She was older and wanted me to be a kid like I should have been. But that was never a possibility for me. We needed money, and I could make a hell of a lot more than she could at our local corner shop.”
I nod, my eyes holding his, urging him to continue.
“On a Thursday night, she worked until closing. I’d always bike to meet her so she didn’t have to go home alone. We might live in one of the nicest areas of London, but knowing she was alone when it was dark terrified me.”
“You’re a good brother, Seb.”
He scoffs at my praise. “You might change your mind in a minute.”
He blows out a shaky breath, and I shift that little bit closer.
“I was hanging out at Theo’s with Alex and Nico that night. They knew it was the anniversary of my dad’s death, and they were trying to distract me. We were lost in the new PlayStation game that had just come out, and I completely lost track of time.”
My stomach twists, a million and one things beginning to run around my head about what could have happened.
“By the time I realised, I threw the controller down and raced from the house. The guys felt as guilty as I did. I don’t need to tell you how protective Nico is over Calli, and Theo is the oldest of four, so he always understood my need to keep an eye on Demi.
“They followed me out of the house, and the three of us jumped on our bikes and raced toward the shop she’d have left about ten minutes earlier.”