Eighteen.
The realisation that Stella wasn’t the only one to miss their big day over the past two weeks slams into me.
Everyone tried to make me leave the hospital for the day to at least attempt to celebrate, even just to shower and shave, but I refused.
Stella didn’t even have a say in celebrating hers, so why should I get to enjoy myself? Why should I get to put our reality behind me and pretend that everything was normal?
“You were a good girl.”
Sophia scoffs. “I only let you see what I wanted you to see, Seb. You had enough bad influences in your life. You didn’t need me being another.”
Appreciation for my sister swells within me. Despite our drastic situation, she always, always, tried to do what was best for me.
She’s a fucking angel.
“I miss her,” I whisper, glancing back at the headstone behind us.
“Me too. Every day.”
Silence stretches out between us but her support surrounds me, making things feel just that little bit better.
“Talk to me, Seb.”
“She’s gone.” Sophia doesn’t say anything, but I catch her nod out of the corner of my eye. “She’s run from me. From this.”
“Can you blame her?”
“No,” I answer honestly without missing a beat. “Doukas never should have brought her back here.”
“Why? What’s your issue with him?”
Taking another hit, I rest my forearm on my bent knee.
“H-he… he killed Dad.”
“That’s what you think?”
“That’s what I know,” I confirm, ensuring my voice doesn’t show any sign of hesitation.
“Seb,” she sighs, pain lacing her tone. “This world we live in, it’s… dangerous. Every single day we’re risking our lives, those of the ones we love. And unfortunately, death is a part of it. It’s inevitable. We were at war back then. Fighting is messy, and sometimes the wrong guys get hurt by the wrong men. But that’s kinda the way it goes.”
Her calmness, her rationale shocks me.
“So you’re okay with one of our own killing our father?”
“There’s no evidence of that, and even if there was… it just… is what it is. Nothing can change the past, Seb. Nothing can bring him back.”
“But I heard it. I heard Damien say it. Galen killed our father.”
She lets out a sigh.
“Tell me the truth here, Seb. This is deeper than some past beef between our fathers.”
My head swims with vodka as I try to formulate an answer. An honest one. But the thought of even confessing to the things that Stella makes me feel, what her absence makes me feel, terrifies me.
“She’s one of us. We should have protected her.”
“So it’s guilt that kept you outside her hospital room all this time?”