1
Sadie
Winter brought with it the stench of death, lingering in the air like something palpable. Like corpses lying just out of sight beyond the horizon, a warning of blood on frost-covered and wilted grass that we couldn’t yet see.
But war had come, and all I could do was wait in the calm before the tides tore the city to shreds. Not really one of them, not really not. I’d become a halfway girl to a family I’d never asked for but couldn’t turn my back on either.
Shaking off the chill to the air and the way it clung to my skin with warning, in the dim light of dawn I hurried down the exterior steps on the side of the building. Even though the weather had been unseasonable as of late, the tiny commute down the stairs and around to the front of the gym still filled me with dread. Before my best friend Ivory’s, involvement with the Bellandi family, I’d been secure in my little corner of Chicago. Having met just a sample of the monsters that lurked within the city, I knew there were fates worse than death, and all that stood between them and the greater population was a group of men nobody would call heroes.
In common terms, the city as I knew it never existed. Lost to a world of crime most of us never dreamed of.
I’d take the cold over the uncharacteristic warmth if it meant returning to the peace of relative ignorance. Usually this time of year made my nose want to fall off and my dark hair freeze to my head before I could get inside the gym. Instead, I barely shivered in my jacket, but I still hated the fucking cold and everything that came with it.
When I rounded the bottom of my steps, my spine prickled with unease. With all the training, all the survivors I’d worked with over the years, I learned to trust those instincts, ev
en if my paranoia amplified them. I quickened my pace as I made my way around the front of the building. Pulling keys out of my pocket, I positioned one between my fingers into a makeshift weapon as I got ready to get the door open.
At the front door, I maneuvered the keys until I unlocked the first deadbolt.
Then the second.
When I finally made it to the third, I prepared myself with a large breath in. Stilling as I listened to the rustling movement of someone coming up behind me. Waiting until the slow ease of quiet breath fanned against the back of my neck, I forced myself to pull the key from the lock slowly and slip it between my fingers once more.
Erupting into sudden motion, I spun in place, widening my stance and preparing to fight whoever would attack me in an empty lot at six o’clock in the morning.
“You asshole!” I growled, shoving Patrick’s chest when he raised two arms like he’d meant no harm. Sneaking up on your ex-girlfriend in the dark was not an acceptable pastime.
The man needed to move on and develop a better understanding of what it meant to be a woman. Even in times of peace, the world was full of regular creeps waiting to take advantage.
“I’m sorry!” he blurted. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Who would want to hurt you?” Never mind that men often took what they wanted, or at least tried, I couldn’t mention my connection to the Bellandis. I could tell no one that there was the slight potential Bellandi enemies might target me for that connection. None of them seemed to consider that I might be at risk, since I was not a Bellandi woman.
And I never would be.
I wanted it to stay that way, living on the fringes of their world and only popping my head in for a peek when I went to visit with Ivory and her daughter, Luna. “You don’t sneak up on a woman like that. Just call my name or something so I know you aren’t a serial killer, you ding dong. I could have emasculated you.”
He swallowed, visibly taking a step back. He damn well knew I could and would.
I should.
“I just wanted to talk to you,” he said.
“We have nothing to talk about,” I reminded him with a bite to my tone as I spun back to the front door.
“Come on, Sade. Just talk to me. We can work through the problem. I miss you.” I ground my teeth together at the sound of the nickname I hated so much. Inching into my space like I’d invited him, he braved a step forward until his body heat warmed me through my jacket.
“If you want to keep your balls, you’ll step back right fucking now.” My voice dropped to the tone that I didn’t use often, the one where even Patrick knew I meant business. Turning to look at him, I wasn’t willing to let him into the gym before we opened.
I’d never get rid of the persistent bastard who was determined to buzz around me like a gnat that I just couldn’t squish.
He moved away, rubbing a hand over the back of his head as if he hadn’t invaded my space without permission. Nobody came into my bubble without my consent.
Ever.
“We cannot work through the problem. I came home from dancing with a friend and found another woman’s mouth on your dick, because you were in the mood to Netflix and chill when I was occupied. In my house! That is not a fixable problem. That is the kind of problem where you’re lucky I didn’t rip off your dick and shove it up your own ass.”
“Sade.” He dropped his voice to a whine and the urge to throat punch him overwhelmed me. What in the fuck had I seen in him? Aside from the sandy hair, bright smile, and muscles he’d worked to train at my gym, I didn’t have the first clue.
“I am not taking you back. I am not touching your dirty little dick ever again, so hop on over to the next ride, baby.” I reached up, patting his cheek harshly as I spun and opened the door, fully intending to slam it in his face.
“Maybe if you’d just settled down like I wanted and been around, I wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere for attention. Men have needs, Sade. If you want to be someone’s wife, then take care of them.”
“How did I not realize how disgusting you were? Do us both a favor, you vile toad, and find a new gym. Consider your membership revoked.” I flipped him off over my shoulder, stepping through the door. I locked it behind me as soon as I was inside, shutting him out in the cold so I could go about my business and get the gym ready to open.
Some women got flowers. Some got chocolates. I got a douchebag ex-boyfriend with a complex and a bottle of wine waiting for me at home after dinner with my parents.
Happy fucking Valentine’s Day.
Heaving out a deep breath in the office I hardly used, I dropped my purse into the drawer and locked it away safely. Through the open door, the sounds of Beth opening up at the front of the gym drifted in. Shoving down my frustration with Patrick, I forced a smile to my face as I rounded my desk and made my way out to greet her.
Nobody knew what a dick Patrick had turned out to be, and I wanted to keep it that way. I knew better than to date gym clients, but his sweet determination had won me over, eventually. The way he went about it was so entirely unlike the way I’d watched the Bellandi men claim their wives. I liked that it gave me a taste of being genuinely wanted without the pushy bullshit that I’d never tolerate for myself.
I couldn’t. Not when I hated being told what to do.
Even if having someone dare to take charge in bed once in a while appealed to me. “I’ll see you on the mats!” I called out to one of our regulars, Mike, as he made his way for the locker room. He flipped me off, continuing on his way without even glancing back at me.
“Don’t you have work to do or something?” he yelled, and I fought back my rising smile. I could always count on the moody ass to hate mornings as much as I did.
“Anything I should know?” Beth asked as I walked up to the front desk. She flipped her pixie cut blond hair away from her face, leaning tattooed forearms on the counter.
“Nope.” I popped the word with my mouth, ignoring the way she studied me. The damn woman saw way too much for her own good, even if we never talked about our personal lives in depth.
“Are you and Patrick back together?” she asked. I raised a brow at her, curling my lip into a grimace. “I’ll take that as a no. So what was he doing wallowing in the parking lot when I pulled in?”
I groaned, dropping my head to bang it against the counter five times. “Remember how relentless he was about getting me to go out with him?” I asked her, my voice muffled by my proximity to the surface.
I’d disinfected it the night before, so it was clean, at least.