“Oh my God,” Jamie breathed, his pulse speeding fast enough to make him dizzy. “I’m in love with him.”
As if he’d shouted the words, Marcus sat up suddenly and looked around, brightening when he saw Jamie, waving briefly, before being wrestled back down by one of the Labs.
Now that he’d admitted his affliction out loud, love took root inside Jamie like one of those fast-motion botany documentaries on the Nature Channel. Roots wrapped around his insides and got cozy, filling every nook and cranny until he swore he was going to burst.
Somehow Jamie forced his feet to move in the direction of the Hut. He couldn’t very well stand there all fucking day looking like he’d been struck by lightning, even though he had. His earth was definitely good and scorched.
The group of barking dogs, still drunk on Marcus’s attention, were moving on just as Jamie reached the Hut. Marcus came to his feet slowly and searched Jamie’s face, like he knew. Like he knew exactly what was coming and was bracing himself. “Good morning,” Marcus said, taking a half step forward, then retreating. “I brought you a juice. It’s in the locker room.”
Jamie stomach flipped. “Thanks.”
Marcus nodded once and tried not to be obvious about checking their surroundings for eavesdroppers, but to Jamie, it was the most evident thing in the world. “I didn’t shower because I wanted to smell like you today,” Marcus said in a thick voice. “Maybe not the best idea, but I couldn’t help it.”
How much tighter could everything get? Jamie’s muscles, his chest, his throat, it was like they were attached to a universal screw and it twisted, twisted the longer they stood there. “You’re right, that’s probably not a good idea,” Jamie said quietly. “None of this is a good idea.”
Marcus visibly held his breath.
“But I was thinking…” Jamie swallowed hard, no idea what words were coming out of his mouth, only that his racing heart refused to let him do anything but deliver them. “I was thinking if you wanted t-to try this, being my…boyfriend—officially—we wouldn’t have to tell anyone.” He could almost hear a pen scratching across paper, a proclamation sealing his fate. “Until you’re ready to tell your family. If…you’re ever ready.”
“Jamie.” Marcus let out his name on a shocked exhale, his head shaking slowly. “No. No, I can’t let you do that. I can’t. It would mean hurting you over and over—”
“You’re right, it was a stupid idea. Forget I said anything.”
Berating himself for being a giant fucking moron, Jamie strode past a gaping Marcus, only to be dragged to a halt after three steps. “Wait. Just wait. Jesus.” Marcus let go of Jamie’s arm and plowed his hands though his hair. “I’m not mentally equipped for this kind of shit. One second, I think you’re about to kick me to the curb and I’m going to have to spend all day trying not to cry like a girl, the next you’re…” Cautiously hopeful eyes scanned Jamie’s face. “Did you really mean it?”
“Take it or leave it, Diesel,” Jamie sighed, visibly bored but internally shaken by the heaven/hell he was offering. “We’re going to be late.”
Marcus’s throat worked. “Why are you doing this for me?”
Jamie was afraid love might overflow from his eyes, so he quickly looked down.
“I should say no,” Marcus whispered, coming close enough to heat Jamie’s shoulder with his breath. “I should say no to something that’s bad for Jamie.”
Jamie closed his eyes. “Is that what you’re doing?”
Marcus’s laugh was pained. “You think I could turn down a chance to be your boyfriend?” Ever so slightly, their fingers brushed, index fingers hooking together. “I know how hard it is for you to give me this, Jamie. I won’t let you feel wrong about this. It’ll be different than the last time, okay? I promise. I just need some time.”
“I know,” Jamie said, nodding. “I’ll give it to you. I want to give it to you.”
“Thank you.” Marcus’s body deflated against Jamie. Just for a second, before straightening and stepping away, leaving Jamie missing his touch already. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too.”
And then Jamie counted to fifty before following Marcus into the Hut.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Life was amazing.
For the next week, Marcus basically went to bed smiling, woke up smiling, and he couldn’t rule out the possibility that he smiled in his sleep. Why the hell wouldn’t he? He had his own side of Jamie’s bed. Jamie slept on the outside, Marcus took the inside half by the wall and it was just understood that they would fall asleep that way every single night.
Naked.
Marcus hurried through a set of pull ups, but one eye was on the clock and since he was trying to figure out how many minutes were left until he met Jamie at the Main Squeeze, he lost track of how many times his chin had touched the bar. Fuck it. Who cared?