Friends got hard-ons for each other, right? “You don’t have to cover up anything about yourself,” Jamie said in a hoarse voice, his lower body reacting painfully fast to the hungry way Marcus looked at him. “You wouldn’t be Marcus without that tattoo.”
“Yeah.” He flexed the muscle that made her dance. “I got this with my brother in the spring. He, uh…he’d been kind of nagging me to bring a girl home. Still is.” Marcus shook his head. “The tattoo only bought me about a week of silence on the subject. Not really worth having it for a lifetime.”
“You could add some clothes,” Jamie suggested. “Or throw in a robe and a baby and tell everyone she’s the Virgin Mary. Then you’re just being a good Catholic.”
Marcus laughed, breaking a smidgen of the tension between them. “My brother got a tattoo that day, too. On his chest. It says Honor.” His smile dipped. “He’s not a bad guy. Neither is my father. They’ve just got this idea of tradition and they think everyone should stick to it. Stick to their idea. Baseball, babies, Sunday dinner, finding a wife so you can complain about her at poker night. That’s the dream for them and they want me to have it.”
“My dad was like that, too,” Jamie said. “We never told him. About me.”
“No?”
Jamie shook his head. “It wasn’t a formal decision we made. It was just for the best. He probably would have found some way to take it out on my mother.” He cleared his throat to get rid of the discomfort creeping into his chest. “I’m actually…glad he didn’t know. I’m glad he didn’t get a chance to decide that part of me is ugly.” A humorless laugh left his throat. “Jesus, I’m really making a good case for being out in the open.”
“Actually, it’s kind of helping. Right now, the future is this huge blank spot. I don’t even know enough to imagine what could happen.” He scratched the back of his neck and Jamie caught the scent of menthol and hops. “I’m sorry it didn’t happen the way it should have for you. But after everything, you turned into Jamie Prince.” He sent a lopsided grin in Jamie’s direction and Jamie tried not to be obvious that his heart was lodged in his mouth. “We should all be so lucky.”
Oh fuck. I’m going to kiss him.
Mistake or not, he didn’t have a choice.
Jamie wet his lips and Marcus’s eyes darkened. They leaned in—
And the wheels of the train screeched, the conductor’s voice coming over the loudspeaker to announce their arrival at Atlantic Terminal. They both breathed heavily into the scant space separating their mouths, but surprisingly, Marcus was the one to pull back. He closed his eyes for a moment, exhaled and stood, edging past Jamie to the aisle. Jamie followed, feeling like he’d been hit in the back of the head by a metal bat.
They walked in silence to the Lounge, a gastropub in Greenpoint that Jamie had picked because he thought Marcus would be comfortable there. There were flat screens on the wall playing sports in the front bar area, but they also had a pretentious cocktail list and clustered couches in the back. The best of both worlds. Kind of like Marcus.
Jamie tried to center himself as they walked through the busy establishment. The gastropub was an eclectic mix of Brooklynites. Sitting at the bar, there was a date between two women taking place. Beside them, young professionals sipped pints, still wearing suits and ties from their downtown Manhattan jobs. College students filled in the gaps, talking loudly to be heard over the music. The bartender signaled Jamie. Jamie pointed at the back of the bar and they were waved through the black drape that sectioned off the lounge.
The character definitely changed as soon as they were on the other side of the curtain. Grew darker, more intimate. Jamie battled the impulse to drag Marcus back out onto the street. For one thing, Marcus was frowning with his body turned in toward Jamie, like a hired bodyguard. Second, he could see the pulse in Marcus’s throat jumping around in a scattered pattern, so he knew the bluster was all for show. The guy was nervous. Maybe he’d suggested this hangout way too soon—
“Jamie. Hey.”
Jamie turned to find Kurt approaching and sensed Marcus tensing. “Hey Kurt.”
They gave each other a hesitant one-armed hug and Jamie stepped back, uncomfortable over even that small gesture in front of Marcus, which boded really fucking well. “This is my friend, Marcus.”
Kurt put out his hand instead of going in for a hug, correctly interpreting Marcus’s mood. “Hey,” Marcus said, clearing his throat hard. “It’s uh…nice to meet you, man.”
Jamie glanced over at Marcus in surprise. Marcus raised an eyebrow back at him. I’m trying, mouthed. For you.