Chapter 12
Conleigh
I wasn’t sure what had awoken me but the thrashing that was coming from the man at my side alerted me that something was indeed going on.
Legs moving from side to side, arms thrashing then reaching out for someone, he mumbled, pleading, “No,” pause, “Come on,” pause, “Don’t you do this to me. Hang on,” pause, “Help will be here soon,” pause, “Don’t look at it. Look at me, brother.”
Tears hit the corners of my eyes at that moment.
I didn’t know what he was dreaming about but hearing the pleading in his tone, broke my heart.
Not wanting him to continue to be in apparent hell, turning over sleepily I placed my hand on the side of his face, and just like that, he stopped thrashing beside me.
“Honey, you were having a nightmare. Come back to me.” I murmured with my lips pressed to his cheek.
And just like that, his arms came around me tightening their hold, as if the fiery gates of hell were trying to pull me in and the only thing keeping me from it was him.
“Honey, come back to me. Please?” I begged as I used my body to curl around his.
He slowly opened his eyes, and then I watched as sadness enveloped them.
“Is this why you were hesitant about staying over that first night? The nightmares?”
He simply nodded and then tried to turn his head so I couldn’t look into his eyes.
Not wanting that, I brought my other hand from his chest to his face, cupped it softly, and turned his face back to mine.
“I love you, Gage. With every part of me. I’m here. Always.”
“I know you are, Baby girl. I just hate reliving those moments.”
Wanting to keep him talking, knowing that sometimes if you unloaded your troubles on someone else’s shoulders, it made it easier for you to be able to breathe. So, ever so softly, I asked, “What was that about?”
He shook his head from my hold and then brought a hand up and ran a finger down the left side of my cheek. “I can’t have you holding me down right now, Baby girl.”
“Then you tell me what you need me to do,” I whispered into the darkened room. I’ve never dealt with anyone having nightmares. Not even Collins had nightmares.
I wasn’t sure if there was something I should be doing or just going with my gut and doing what feels right with him.
And I knew I had made the right call when his body settled.
“Just lay here with me, Conleigh. I’ll tell you about it.” I laid there as I was, but with my head on his shoulder and my other hand over a scar on the left side of his body.
“It’s just… I don’t want you to look at me differently after I tell you.” I could hear the hurt in his tone and the shame? What the hell would he have done that would make him ashamed of himself?
He was a good man.
“Gage, honey, nothing you tell me will ever change how I feel about you. I dare say not that this is an excuse for you, but even if you were to tell me you kissed another woman, I still wouldn’t look at you any different. I would just be making you grovel for the next fifty-something years.”
I felt his chest move up and down as he chuckled at that.
Unsure of how much time had passed as I laid there, unmoving, feeling my eyelids start to flutter closed, I heard, “Something you don’t know about me. I was in the military. Marines, to be exact.”
“I know. I recognized the tattoo on your chest.” I told him softly as I brushed my fingers over his tattoo.
“We were out in the Kandahar province running a routine mission. Checking for any possible IEDs placed on the roads so our Engineers didn’t get bombarded and taken out. I was in the front seat of the Humvee. Didn’t see the dirtbag holding the phone next to a crumbled building. It should have hit me. He was staring right at the Humvee with his finger hovered over a button. And then it was too late. By the time I realized why I should have stopped the Humvee, the entire Humvee was blown to bits. I lost three brothers. Three of my best brothers. Met them at Camp Lejeune. We were all going all the way.”
“What were their names?” I asked him softly. I wanted to thank them for having his back all that time, and even though he didn’t feel like it, he had returned the favor.