She set her hands on his chest. His heart was pounding.
“Murderers. Rapists. Kidnappers. Robbers. Men in general who have lost their goddamn minds and won’t hesitate to take what doesn’t belong to them as if they are entitled or they can’t live another minute without getting their dicks wet.”
She nodded. “Yep. Those people are out there too. So, we’re careful and we keep a close eye on each other. I can’t live in a box underground. I could also trip in the hallway and hit my head and break my skull open when I head out for dinner. That doesn’t cause me to stay in bed, Stu.”
“It’s not a bad idea. I’ll go pick up your fucking dinner.” He was only half kidding. His expression didn’t crack.
“What if you trip and fall? What if you get shot at or kidnapped while you’re on a run?”
“Then you’ll still have Tarin and Kester.”
“So will you,” she pointed out.
He lifted a brow. “No offense, but they don’t quite provide the same services as you can.”
She chuckled. “If you let me.”
He stared at her, swallowing. “I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough to live through losing another woman, Ariel.”
Tarin and Kester gasped.
She took a step closer. “Did you lose a girlfriend or wife, Stu?”
He tipped his head back and groaned.
“Tell me.”
Tarin’s breath hitched.
“Tell me what happened. It’s a huge burden keeping it inside. Let me carry some of it.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to hear that story.”
“I do,” she soothed. “Unload it.”
“Leave it alone, love,” Tarin suggested calmly.
She flattened herself to Stu, tipping her head back farther, grabbing his shirt at the waist to ensure she had his full attention.
“Jesus, Ariel. You are so fucking pushy.”
“Yep. What was her name?”
He sighed. “Reese. She lived next door to my family.”
“What happened to her, Stu?” she encouraged. Good or bad, they were doing this.
He stared at her again. “If I tell you, I can’t put the words back in the box, babe.”
“You don’t have to. Let me mourn with you. Let me love you. She’s gone and I’m here and you’re allowed to love again and live your life.”
He hesitated a moment and then spoke. “We stayed above too long. My family. My parents and hers. Us kids. We weren’t kids anymore, but we still lived at home.” He licked his lips and then groaned and wrenched free, jerking out of her reach and stalking across the room to the far corner.
Ariel risked a glance at Kester and Tarin to confirm they were both still standing in the doorway. She didn’t want Stu to run.
“You don’t want to hear this shit, Ariel.”
“You’re right. I probably don’t, but I will anyway because the only way I can help you carry the burden is to know what it is. I’ve shared about my parents. You know my dad was shot in the chest and I watched as two men stabbed my mother so many times that she bled out.” Her voice rose. “I couldn’t save her. She died in my arms. Mine and Layla’s. We couldn’t do anything but run for our lives. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It feels like it was both yesterday and a hundred years ago. It hurts. Every day I hold the pain. But I’m not going to crawl into a corner and shut out the world. Because I want to live. I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to have sex. I want to make sweet slow fumbling love to Tarin and learn everything about sex that Kester is going to teach me. And I want you to fuck me so hard against the wall that I can’t think straight. I want all those things. I want them all at once and separate. I want them today and tomorrow and the next day. I want to live every single day to the fullest as though it’s my last just in case it is so I’ll have no regrets and no one I love will either.”