“Out of the frying pan and into the fire…”
“Oh, I know! Kunikida could play the princess!”
“Are you out of your mind?!”
As Tanizaki was getting things ready, he imagined the tall Kunikida in a frilly white dress while flirtatiously saying, “Oh myyy! Somebody, do help me!” A rather repulsive notion, but one that kind of suited Kunikida for some reason. Either way, that would be enough to blow the lid off the exam in an instant.
Tanizaki suddenly started to become anxious. Was this really going to work? Would this really make Dazai finally take responsibility just as Kunikida said it would? Kunikida assured him this would work as long as they stuck to the plan. And he said that most of all…this was for Dazai’s sake as well. He claimed that no one would ever be able to defeat Dazai again after this.
According to Kunikida:
“I was in charge of showing Dazai the ropes when he first joined the agency, but he’d already reached the height of his shenanigans by that time. He had already wrapped his marionette strings around countless people involved, and he even manipulated the moves our enemies made.
“The greatest detective in the agency is without a doubt Ranpo, but his intellect is used for controlling cases and crime scenes. Dazai, on the other hand, uses his intellect to manipulate people—something he uses to take a position of power over them. It would be no surprise if he led the agency one day in the not-so-distant future as the president’s right-hand man. I get the feeling this entire ordeal with the rookie was the first step to that as well. We can’t have someone as free-spirited and carefree as that in the agency. I am not going to let him keep shifting his responsibilities onto others. This entrance exam needs to be an opportunity for him to experience firsthand how difficult it is to hire and manage someone.
“That is why this entire exam needs to be done by Dazai and Dazai alone.”
This whole ruse was created for that sole reason. Tricking Dazai—this was the master plan Kunikida had come up with after being partners with him for two years.
Kunikida’s plan went like this:
First, they would place an old newspaper in the conference room before the meeting.
Then, when they were deciding everyone’s roles and things started g
etting complicated, one would casually suggest the necessity of everyone drawing slips of paper to decide roles, since not even the embodiment of scheming itself, Dazai, would be able to manipulate the results. Therefore, everyone would be randomly given their roles, which would be fair. Once that happened, without fail, someone would suggest using the old newspaper to make said slips of paper for the lottery. If, by any chance, nobody said anything, Tanizaki or Naomi would wait for the right moment and suggest it themselves.
Kunikida was going to shut Dazai down, he’d said. He continued by saying he was going to force Dazai to realize what it feels like to carry his own burdens and take some responsibility—both for his own sake and for the detective agency’s.
Around the time the slips of paper were finally ready to go, Naomi stopped by the conference room with her schoolbag in her hand.
“Say, dearest brother, I was thinking about heading back home now. Is there anything you needed before I go?”
“Oh, Naomi.” Tanizaki looked overcome with relief. “We’re about to draw slips of paper to decide roles. Do you have a bag or something I can put these in?”
“How about this?” Naomi replied before taking a large brown envelope out of her schoolbag. Everything was going as planned. “It’s a leftover envelope from a school event. You’re free to use it if you want.”
When Kunikida had mapped out the plan, he proposed including someone who didn’t participate in the meeting. Dazai would surely see through Kunikida’s scheme if it were only him. On the other hand, having everyone in the meeting involved would run the risk of information being leaked. This was Dazai, after all. He could easily weasel the information out of someone—most likely Kenji. Kunikida’s partner in crime had to be the best of the best; thus, he ended up going with the Tanizaki siblings.
Tanizaki himself had no idea why he was chosen. Perhaps he was simply included with the Naomi package deal. It was starting to feel that way. When people asked Tanizaki for help, it was usually because anyone would do, or they needed his skill, Light Snow, for something. But skills were useless against their current opponent, Dazai…which could mean that he was chosen because he was a safe, passable choice.
However, Tanizaki felt he was mediocre at his job, held mediocre principles, and had a mediocre sense of justice, which made him a mediocre human being. He didn’t have the courage to talk back to or stand up to Dazai. Put simply, he was incredibly passive.
Tanizaki said he was just your average guy, and he was fine with that. Besides, as the second-to-last ranking agent, what else is there to do besides follow whatever duties a senior employee gives me? Tanizaki thought as he folded the slips of paper.
“I’m done,” he announced.
All the clamoring about the entrance examination suddenly stopped as everyone turned around at the sound of his voice. Lined up before Tanizaki were twenty slips of paper with the numbers “1” to “40” written inside. One might wonder why there were twenty slips of paper and not forty—and that was because the articles were printed on both sides of the paper. Therefore, the number “2” would be printed on the back of page one; the numbers “1” and “2” came as a set, as did “3” and “4.” And just like that, it was the very same up until “39” and “40,” hence why there were only twenty slips of paper.
Tanizaki stacked the papers together before carefully sliding them into the envelope. “Okay, guys. What order do you want to draw the slips of paper in?”
Kunikida crossed his arms and spoke up. “Tanizaki, you made the lots, so it would be logical if you went last.”
“What about me?” Dazai asked while pointing to himself.
“You…might come up with a filthy scheme if we give you too much time to think. You go first.”
“You don’t trust me at all!” lamented Dazai as he drew a slip of paper from the envelope.