Emma
Itried not to, but it was impossible to avoid; I worked myself up all afternoon until Barrett came home. The kids were already in bed by the time he sagged through the door. Half my heart worried at how hard he was pushing himself, the other half stewed in resentment, punctuated by Amber’s terrible forecast. I’d had a glass of wine, or three, and was sitting at the kitchen table, playing with my new wedding ring on the shiny tabletop. My heart had swelled with hope and broken with disappointment ten times in the last ten minutes, and I was exhausted.
“Emma? I thought you’d have gone up by now,” Barrett said. His low, rumbling tone caught my heart unaware, and made it thump painfully in my chest. God, I was so far gone for this man.
“I think we should talk,” I told him. I felt terribly overdramatic as he paused shrugging off his jacket and looked at me. He nodded, and came to join me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as he sat opposite me.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I can’t do this,” I blurted out, my heart on my sleeve. Barrett stiffened, a frown slashing across his features. “I understood what it meant when we got married, and I knew who you were, and what kind of life you live, and still… I was lying to myself. I want more than a part-time husband. I want more than a solitary life, with someone who spends their time away from me constantly.” The words rushed from me like a river. “I know you don’t owe me love. I know it. You’ve given me plenty of everything, and yet, I’m the selfish bitch who wants more than that.”
“You think I don’t love you?” Barrett interrupted. “Why would you say that?”
“Because… we’ve never talked about love. The words have never crossed your lips,” I told him. His frowned softened a little.
“They haven’t crossed yours either, sweetheart,” he prompted me. I flushed, realising that was probably true. I was a coward about feelings, and love, and all the rest of it.
“You told me you want me, and I want you too… you told me you’re obsessed with me… but you went to work on our wedding day. I know you don’t owe me more than that, but I don’t think I can settle for it.” I took a deep, bracing breath. “Because I love you. I’ve been head over heels for you since pretty much the first week of working here. I don’t think I can do halfway with you. Maybe with someone else, but not you. It hurts,” I confessed. I was looking down at the table, and surprised to feel Barret’s hand land on my wrist, and then he tugged me. I yelped quietly as I flew around the table and somehow landed on his lap. “Hey, I’m being serious here,” I told him. His eyes were warm, and all the worry had left his expression. He settled me on his knee so I was leaning against his chest and stroked my cheek.
“I didn’t think I could be happier than I already was today, but somehow, you just made it happen,” he said quietly.
“What, it makes you happy to know I’m miserable and torn up about loving you and wanting more from you?” I asked incredulously. He nodded.
“It does. It makes me goddamn ecstatic,” he told me.
“That’s fucked up,” I muttered. He flexed his hips, and I felt him, hard and ready for me, nestling along the curve of my behind.
“Yep, pretty much. I want you to long for me, and miss me, and love me until it hurts,” he said. “Because only then will you feel even a fraction of what I feel for you. Because I love you, and I have since I set eyes on you, and I haven’t doubted it for a moment since then.” His words collided with my frozen heart in my chest, and I grinned at him, my worries washing away like prints on a sandy shore. “If you want to see me more, sweetheart, then I’m here full time. You won’t be able to get rid of me. I won’t go,” he said. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, wriggling my hips against him as I did. He growled low in his throat and flexed his hips more, rotating them beneath me to make me gasp. “And I spent today wrapping up my work and giving my notice.”
“Wait, what?”
“You’re right, Emma. My life is too important to spend in an office, doing work I don’t care about. Chloe and Henry are getting bigger every day, and I’m missing it. It took you coming into my life to realise I was hiding… I wasn’t living. You made me want to live again. I want to leave this city, and have a real life again… if you want that,” he said.
“I want that,” I said immediately, squeezing him tighter. “Where will we go?” I wondered.
“Where ever we want. It’ll be a grand adventure.” Barrett’s warm voice filled me with love. Somehow, despite all odds, I’d ended up with a man who loved me, and kids who I’d move the stars for. I was safe and loved by a man who saw me, and would change his life to make me happy.
“Let’s go; together,” I whispered, leaning in and whispering the last in his ear, tracing the outline of the shell with my tongue. He growled, and pulled me closer.
“Together.”