“What are you doing, sweetheart?”
“Taking pictures of the hot, naked man in my bed.”
He reaches out and grabs me around the waist, pulling me down on top of him. “Take pictures of us together.”
I take a photo while straddling him and then the camera slips out of my fingers when he lifts his hips, grinding against me. Maybe I could withstand it if I wasn’t completely nude but his hand lands on my ass, rocking me into him and I’m done. I want him inside me. I want that thick length stretching and pounding into me, bringing me pleasure that I didn’t even know existed.
This time I take the initiative, reaching over him to grab a condom from the nightstand. I’m not really sure how to put it on but he takes it from me and together we roll it down his shaft. By the time we get to the wide base, Zack is panting and so am I.
“Ride me, baby. Take me in.”
He guides my hips in place and then I sink down, inch by inch. Even after making love several times, it’s such a tight, delicious fit. I lean forward, my hands on his chest so I can control the angle. Before long he’s sliding into me with ease because I’m so wet, so hot for him. He lifts his hips to get deeper and hits that spot inside that makes me crazy.
“I love this Zack. I love it all.”
His eyes flare and his fingers tighten around my waist. I hope he can hear what I’m really saying. That I don’t just love the sex.
I love him.
The friction is unbearable and before long we’re both moaning, straining against each other as the tension builds. It feels like a storm gathering inside me and when he reaches between us to stroke my clit in time with the rhythm of each harsh thrust, I explode. My fists fall against my thighs as I ride out wave after wave of blistering pleasure and when Zack stiffens beneath me, I know he feels it, too.
Afterward, he gathers me close and wraps his arms around me. Neither of us speak. The things I’m feeling are too complicated for words. My love for him is tempered by my fear of overwhelming him and pushing him away. He’s already feeling pressure, his words earlier prove that. He thinks that I want him to change, to conform, to fit the image that would gain my parents’ approval. When all I really want is the one thing I can’t ask for.
For him to realize that he loves me just as much as I love him.
After I finally fall asleep again, my dreams are tormented. I’m chasing Zack and he’s always just out of reach. He’s wearing his tuxedo but for some reason when I look down at my own clothes, I’m wearing my paint-splattered coveralls. I wake up confused and feeling like I didn’t get any rest at all. Then I roll over and see the empty space next to me. Zack left in the middle of the night. Suddenly I wonder if my dreams weren’t a warning.
If I keep chasing Zack, there’s a chance he’ll run away and won’t come back.
†
Sex has addled my brain.
Zack has been coming over every evening to spend time with me for the past week, which has worked out since we’ve had the house to ourselves a lot. Izzie has been going out with her friends and I’m not sure what’s up with Jamie. He’s been weird and strangely grumpy lately, too. But all the time alone has meant lots of opportunities to indulge in my new favorite activity. We’ve been all over this house in every position and there are a few days where I was surprised I could walk properly afterward.
All the sex has truly addled my brain.
That’s the only reason I can think of why it takes me so long to notice that something is off with Zack.
He comes over on Friday after work and the first thing I notice are the dark circles under his eyes. I lead him to the couch and sit next to him. He leans his head back against the cushion and closes his eyes.
“You look tired, babe. Come on. We can take a little nap.” I grab his hand and he allows me to pull him to his feet.
I lead him upstairs to my room and he stretches out on the bed while I sit in my desk chair. His deep extended groan when his head hits the pillow sounds like the kind of noise he’d make during sex.
“Wow, you’re really exhausted. You’re welcome to just sleep over if you want. Then you won’t have to get up later and drive home.”
I hope that my eagerness isn’t completely obvious. I want to sleep wrapped up in his embrace and wake up the same way. But so far, he never stays with me.
He doesn’t look at me as he says, “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine in about an hour. I need to get home anyway. Tank and Finn were at the house visiting Gabe when I left.”
I ignore the tickle of disappointment at how he always manages to avoid any talk of sleeping over. “What are they up to?”
“Tank’s getting married and asked Gabe for help with the vows. He said the only thing he could think of to say was ‘If I’m in a coma, I trust her not to pull the plug.’ I thought that was pretty good.”
I laugh. “That’s great. I hope they left that in.”
“Gabe came up with some flowery shit that basically is a nicer way of saying the same thing.”