Something in my face must give away my true feelings because she suddenly lowers the camera again.
“What? Just say whatever it is you’re thinking. You don’t think that men can be sex objects?” Her nose crinkles derisively.
“Sure. I think most men think of themselves that way. But that still doesn’t answer my question. I want to know what’s in it for you. Why this specifically and not something else?”
“I’ve decided to go after the things I want this year. To be brave and confident. Playing it safe is boring. I’m going to do the unexpected from now. Have some adventures.”
I move around, trying to get comfortable and she motions with her hand for me to go the other way. Then she puts the camera down.
“Let’s try something different.”
She drags the pillows off the couch and to the floor. “Sit here. Like you’re just hanging out.”
I sit on the first cushion with my back resting against the couch. There’s nothing special about the way I’m posed, lounging with one knee propped up, but she makes a soft sound of happiness. Almost like she’s humming. That’s all it takes. With that one careless sound my dick is ready for action.
Shit.
My sudden attraction for Josie is extremely inconvenient. I shift around, hoping that my jeans conceal the fact that I’m hard as a rock. But Josie doesn’t seem to notice. In fact, she seems happy, moving around me clicking away. My heart stutters a little when one side of her mouth lifts slightly into that sexy little smirk she does. Instinctively, I smile back.
She lowers the camera. Our eyes meet.
Something changes in that moment and suddenly things are different. I’m acutely aware of every sensation, including the hard edge of the couch behind me and the rough material of my jeans rubbing against my erection. Even my skin feels uncomfortably tight all of a sudden. When I look back at Josie, she bites her lip and looks away.
“Why did you really stop the auditions, Zack?”
“I had to.”
“Why? I mean, why do you even care?”
What a loaded fucking question.
Because I don’t want naked guys around her. Because I worry about her. Because I want to be the one she needs. But I can’t say any of that so I go with the truth because it’s simpler. And just as loaded.
“Gabe asked me to.”
And there we have it. The thing that will always be between us.
Josie rolls her eyes. “Unbelievable. I’m not completely reckless, you know. That’s why we did the auditions as a group. For safety. Izzie has also offered to be there while I shoot so I’m not alone with anyone. Gabe worries too much.”
“Right.”
Her fingers tighten around the camera. “Is there something else you want to say?”
“Just wondering if there’s an ulterior motive to this whole thing. You know that Gabe worries about you. And you knew that doing this would drive him insane.”
Her eyes flash. “What are you trying to say? That I did this to get his attention?”
That’s exactly what I’m saying but I can tell that I’ve just opened up a minefield. She’s always been touchy when I point out her crush on Gabe. That’s part of what made it so much fun to annoy her. At least it was fun until I realized that I’d give anything to be the one she noticed. Not so much fun then.
When I don’t say anything else she closes her eyes and that’s how I know she’s really mad.
“I swear if I hadn’t known you so long Zack Marshall I would never speak to you again. Here’s a newsflash. Everything isn’t about Gabe.”
That’s just it though. It always has been before. A fact that I long ago learned to live with.
“You want me to believe this isn’t about him, then help me understand.”
She turns and walks away. I sag back against the couch. We’ve always pestered each other but this is different. Her anger is a palpable thing and I’m starting to realize that I might have pushed her too far.