Just before he opens the door, he leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "I missed talking to you."
Then he pulls the door open and leaves without looking back.
* * * * *
One of the most pure joys in life is the sound of a child’s laughter. I have to cover my ears part of the time as my nephew runs past squealing, wearing nothing but a Superman T-shirt and a diaper. Brenna looks up when he runs through the room again and then shakes her head.
"I hear screams even in my sleep. I get no peace around here." She smiles faintly as she says it though, nonchalantly turning another page of the magazine in her lap.
"Let me know if you and Evan need a night out. Aunt Sasha is always happy to help out. You know I love spending time with him."
"And he loves you. You're going to be such an awesome mom someday. Speaking of moms, ours is on her way over. Evan kept hinting that he wanted an apple pie so Mom made him one. I swear, she spoils him just like she does her grandson.”
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"I guess I should go then." My parents visited me when I was sick but Mom was distracted by fussing over me. Now that things are back to normal, any interaction with my mom will revert back to her usual questions about my personal life and career, or in her opinion, my lack thereof. My mom loves me, I know she does, but I can't handle a motherly interrogation right now.
Brenna rolls her eyes. "Sasha, you know she means well. We just want you to be happy. Find a nice guy, have a steady job. You know, start living your life."
"I am living my life, Bren. Even if my life doesn't look like yours, that doesn't mean it's not valid."
She sits back and closes the magazine. "You know what I mean."
I clamp my lips shut to block the angry words that threaten to spill out. This is a familiar argument and every time we both spout the same words and end up upset. There's no point to hashing out the same things over and over. We have very different ideas about what my life should look like.
"Look, I know you guys have been worried about me. After the show—" A sudden rush of emotion steals my voice and I reach over to take a sip from the glass of iced tea on the coffee table to soothe my suddenly scratchy throat. Thinking about that day, the single most humiliating day of my life, will never be easy.
"After the show, I was a mess. I know I was. But I'm fine now and I've got a plan to get myself back on track. Maybe I'm not meant to tour the country and perform in front of large crowds but I've always enjoyed performing in smaller venues. I have a plan to open the club on time and I've even gotten a few new investors." I don't bother telling her that the new investors are Dad and Uncle Tommy.
Brenna looks surprised. "Really? That's wonderful. But I'm not worried about your career, I'm worried about you. You deserve to be with a great guy and not these losers you normally pick. I can't believe that fool Chaz had the nerve to dump you right before the show. Bastard."
"I haven't even thought of him at all."
She falls silent. Then gasps. "You have a new boyfriend and you didn't tell me?"
"No, I don't." But even as I say it, I flush and Brenna knows me too well to let that pass.
“Okay, what’s wrong with this one?”
I wrinkle my nose at her. “It’s nothing. It’s just … what would you have done if Evan hadn’t wanted anything serious?"
Brenna pauses, a thoughtful look on her face. "I don't know. I guess that depends on why he was keeping me at a distance. Is he not attracted to me?"
"He's definitely attracted." Physical chemistry has never been an issue with Gabe.
"Then it probably means he's got something going on in his personal life. That's a tough one because I hate to think that I would have just let Evan go without even fighting for him."
"So you think I should fight?" Her answer means more to me than I'm willing to admit.
"I'm never a big fan of trying to push people where they don't want to go. But there's nothing wrong with making a man an offer is there? Just watch it because that's how I got that one." She gestures to Carter as he runs past screaming again.
We laugh and start talking about other things. But in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if I dare risk pushing Gabe. Pushing him for more might mean pushing him away.
* * * * *
That evening, Brenna's words are still running through my mind, but I have to push them aside because I have a gig. Usually, I look forward to this all month. Singing is the only thing that makes me feel alive sometimes. Even when I’m tired, even when I’m stressed, being on stage and letting music flow through me is my favorite thing in the world.
But tonight, I’m just not feeling it.