Chapter 18
Raquel
His declaration last night has come to a head, but how do I know that’s not just the emotions of the circumstances swaying his decision? In times like this, people don’t want to be alone, for good cause, but it’s not the time to make rash decisions, and even though I know we both have feelings for one another, it’s best to wait until things have settled down before discussing this again. Jeremy already has enough on his plate, especially with Hazel now back in Grapevine, and falling victim to rumors and gossip will not help their situation.
Jeremy might not like the way I handled last night, but it’s the right thing for me. Same way, he doesn’t want anyone else to be able to control his happiness. I don’t want to be the person that jumps into things too fast, and keeps her heart broken after just getting divorced. This isn’t just about him, and I have to watch out for myself, too.
The coffee pot beeps, and I pour the golden liquid into my mug and then add a bit of vanilla creamer to give it a sweet taste. Today is a new day and all I want to do is make the most of it. As much as I want to open my heart up for him, my gut tells me it’s not the right time, and no matter what, I have to trust my instincts.
Preparation for the day ahead leads me to believe I might need a couple of cups before leaving, but there just isn’t time. I shouldn’t have stayed over at his house so late, but he seemed to really need someone, and Hazel never came back. I might not want to be with him right now, but I’m not just going to leave him when he is having a hard time dealing with all the tragedy he faces in his life. I’m not that type of person.
As I sip on my coffee, trying to drink it fast without chugging it, I think about how he is going to take the visit today? We discussed his fragile state of mind, and how Don is not going to recognize either of them, but they insist on still visiting. That’s a good thing, but it’s hard to pretend to be someone you are not. Emotions run high, and the last thing Don needs is to become violent and confused. He will make sure Hazel is in agreement and come up with their ruse together.
My last sip is taken, and then my phone rings. Brittaney? Why the heck would she be calling me? I haven’t spoken to her in several weeks since she invited me over to dinner to meet her fiancée. I don’t know why I’m so surprised considering she can go weeks or even months without contacting me, but when something goes wrong, I’m the first person she calls.
“Hello?”
She is crying and begging me to come over. “I can’t. Gotta work today.”
“Please. I seriously need you, girl.”
It’s funny that she says that, but she doesn’t ever just call to catch up anymore. What happened to us? It’s obvious that something has gone wrong with them, but I’m so sick of being called upon by people who don’t give me the same luxury. Would she come running if I called her crying? Now, a couple years ago, she would have, but something has changed since my divorce. Honestly, I thought with me being single, it would actually bring us closer together, but in fact, somehow it has pushed us farther apart. I don’t even run through her mind anymore, and that’s the catalyst. Why should I put someone else as a priority when I don’t even make their list? A friendship should not be like that.
“Sorry, Britt. Gotta pay bills.”
Is it wrong of me to want more? I don’t think so. It’s not like I’m expecting her to call me every day, but when it’s constantly only when something happens to her, it gets old quickly. We both have lives and I get that, but being my best friend for many years, I know she has always been very self-centered. That will never likely change.
I put my cup in the sink, grab my keys, and head out the door. Why do Mondays suck so badly? It’s not like we don’t already know it’s a work day, but it’s the first one after a weekend away from the place, and they always seem to go terribly.
The drive is peaceful, not a lot of cars on the road since most of the traffic is parents dropping their kids off at school and it’s after eight-thirty. When I pull into the parking lot, Jeremy’s truck is not there, which means, I still have some time before they show up, and that gives me ample time to get another cup of coffee in me. No doubt, this is going to be a hard day for them, and I need to show my support. Hazel might not like me for whatever reason, but that’s not going to deter me. I am positive she will like me once she gives me a chance, but today is all about them.
When the automatic doors open and I see the overnight nurse scrambling around, my heart drops. She is only like this when something has happened.
“What can I do? Who can I call?”
She looks up at me. “We need to call Jeremy.”
My hand flies to my mouth. “No, it can’t be. He was just… what happened?” I sit down, barely able to stand, and with what feels like a brick on my chest. How the hell am I going to tell them? They are set to be here at any point to see him. This is going to crush them.
“Very well. I will reach out to Don’s next of kin. Leave that to me.”
She nods, and I take out my phone. Not even deep breaths are going to help me in this situation. I don’t want anyone to see me crying. I hit the dial icon, and it starts to ring.
“Good morning,” he says, answering.
“Hey, Jeremy. I have some terrible news. Don passed away early this morning.”
My head shakes, knowing this is going to change his whole life, and I did not want to be the person to have to break the news to him, but maybe it’s better this way. Tears start to fall from my eyes as the words come out of my mouth. The only response I get is hearing the phone hit something, and I scream. “Jeremy, are you okay? Hello, Jeremy?”
The nurse runs into the office and is staring at me, eyes wide. “What’s going on?”
I hear a voice from far away, and can’t quite make out what she is saying until she gets closer. “Jeremy? Wake up.”
I scream into the phone, hoping she can hear me, and she does.
“Hello?”
“Hazel, it’s Raquel. Is he okay?”
“He’s not answering me. What did you say to him?”
After his reaction, how the heck am I supposed to tell her? “Your father passed away early this morning.”
She screams at the top of her lungs, and starts balling, and at this point, it’s not appropriate to stay on the phone. Instead, I hang up and call an ambulance to his address. They will be able to properly check him out and make sure he is okay. This is an extremely emotional situation and sometimes can wreak havoc on the body. Stress can be difficult for the body to handle.
I’m worried about Jeremy, but there are things that need to be handled for Don. The nurse seems to be overwhelmed, and that’s when I find out Don was not the only resident we lost while I was gone. The worst thing about this comes with the territory of the field I work in. We lose residents often, and I know our bosses will tell us not to let it affect us, but it does. We spend eight to ten hours a day in this building and some of these residents become almost like family. To feel nothing when someone passes seems disrespectful.
When my eyes opened this morning, I knew something was off about today, and I should have known something horrible was going to happen. We knew he didn’t have long, but I didn’t think it would be that soon.
There is nothing I can do for the Greys right now but give them their space. This day is going to be hard enough, and now Jeremy is in the hospital because whatever happened there, I will not reach out to him. Some might find that weird, but I think it’s proper. After losing someone, the first few days are filled with crying and grief, and honestly, the last time it happened to me, I didn’t want to talk to a single person, family or otherwise. The worst of it all is everyone checking up on me and telling me how sorry they were for the loss. Hell, I remember locking myself in the bedroom and not coming out for almost a week. Jeremy and Hazel may very well do the same.