“You want me to call in the nurse? Or I can help you? I think I remember the basics from clinical rotations.”
“I’d like you to help,” Harper said firmly.
She looked down at the baby as he positioned Alyssa’s face against her breast. “She might need some extra support, being so tiny,” he whispered. “Wait until she opens her mouth really wide, then gently pull her on to your nipple. Don’t hold her head too close. You might have to work a little to get the right position.”
Harper did as he instructed, watching with wide eyes as Alyssa latched on, her mouth instinctively moving as she suckled against her. James slid a pillow beneath Alyssa to support her body and Harper’s arms. “Are you comfortable?” he asked her.
“Yeah.” She grinned up at him. “Look at me. I’m really doing this. I’m feeding my baby.” She looked up at him. “Our baby,” she corrected herself.
“Yeah, you are,” he said, his voice thick. “And you’re doing it perfectly.”
She took a deep breath, letting the joy fill her up. “I want this,” she told him, ignoring the fear that was trying to overtake her certainty. “I want you, the same way you want me. I want you to be my friend, my partner. My lover.” She smiled at him. “You’re not the only one who’s been brought back to life. Since the day I first met you my life’s changed for the better in every way. Even if I didn’t know it at the time.”
He blinked, hope sparking in his eyes. “You want us?”
She nodded slowly. “I do. I love you, James Tanner. And I want us to be together. A family.” She smiled down at Alyssa. “If you’ll have us.”
He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers in a soft kiss. “Yes I want you,” he whispered against her mouth. “You and Alyssa. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you both by my side.”
30
A little while later, once Alyssa was fast asleep and Harper was taking a shower with the assistance of a nurse, James walked out to the waiting room to see if anybody was still there. As soon as he pushed the door open, he could hear the loud sounds of conversation and laughter, then he could see them – his parents, his friends, Harper’s friends, too. At least twenty people were squeezed into the small room, their faces filled with expectation when they saw him.
“Um hi,” he said, bemused at all the stares.
“Congratulations, sweetheart,” his mom said, walking forward to hug him. “How’re Harper and the baby?”
“Alyssa’s fine. She’s asleep. Maybe you can come in and see her later,” he told her, hugging her back. “And Harper’s taking a shower. When we’re all ready I’ll call you in to see her.”
“Do you have a picture of Alyssa?” His mom’s eyes lit up.
“Uh, yeah.” Harper had insisted on taking one of him as he held his daughter, her tiny body cradled in his big hands. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled down, passing his phone to his mom. “There she is.”
“Oh.” Louise clutched the phone to her chest. “She’s so beautiful. Is that blonde hair I see?”
“Yeah, though it’s as fine as anything. It’ll probably fall out before it grows again.”
His mom passed his phone to his dad, who passed it to Deenie. From the corner of his eye he could see everybody squeezing around to take a look. Pride burst out of him at their coos and as they told him how beautiful she was.
His daughter was perfect. The child he’d made with Harper. His heart filled with love for her all over again.
For both of them.
“Congratulations, man,” Lucas said, slapping his shoulder. “She’s gorgeous.”
“How’s Harper feeling?” Ember asked him.
“Sleepy. Painful. But mostly happy.” James grinned. The urge to walk back to her room came over him. To check she was still there, still okay. Would it always be like this? As though he was constantly drawn to her, like a magnet pulling him near.
“And how about you?” Ember asked, her eyes shining. “Are you holding up okay?”
Somebody passed the phone back to him – he had no idea who. There were too many people jostling around. He looked at the image on the screen, and swallowed hard. Alyssa Jay. He could still remember the warmth of her against his skin. “I’m more than okay. I’m damned ecstatic.”
“She’s so beautiful,” Ember said wistfully. “And tiny, too. Look at those little fingers.”
“Maybe she’ll grow up and fall in love with Arthur,” Ally said, leaning to glance at James’s phone. “Wouldn’t that be sweet?”
“No,” James said firmly. “She’s going to stay little forever. No boyfriends, no going out. Nothing.”