Nobody had warned Harper about the sheer amount of activity that would go on around her in the hour after she’d given birth. Once the baby was checked for any problems and announced healthy by the pediatrician who’d been standing by, they’d given her back to Harper. She was already trying to suckle, though her lips were weak.
“It’s okay,” Ellie told her. “She’ll get the hang of it. In the meantime, your colostrum will help her build up some immunities.”
Nobody had prepared her for the emotions she’d feel, either. A whole flood of them gushed out right as the baby was born. Exultation mixed with fear and sheer exhaustion. They called the first hour after birth the golden hour, a time for her and James to bond with the baby. The fact was, she didn’t have the energy to do anything else. If they’d tried to get her up she probably would have fallen over. Her legs felt like jelly.
“I’m starving,” she whispered to James as he leaned over to touch the baby’s hand. She curled her tiny fingers around his large one as though she was holding on for dear life, and the action made James smile.
“I’ll go grab you something.”
“Not yet. I want you to stay with me.”
“I’ll go,” Caitie said, smiling at them both. “But as soon as I step into the waiting room everybody will want an update.” She glanced at James. “Are you sure you don’t want to go and tell them?”
He looked at Harper with soft eyes. “I’m not going anywhere yet. You can tell them.”
“Okay then. I’ll tell them baby…” she paused. “Um, does she have a name yet?”
Harper pressed her lips against her daughter’s soft head. “I like Alyssa,” she whispered to James. “What do you think?”
“I love it.” He nodded.
“And I want her middle name to be Jay. After Jacob.”
James blinked, his face full of emotion. “You do?”
“Yeah. One day we can tell her she’s named after her older brother.” Harper smiled at him. “He won’t be forgotten.”
James took a deep breath, as though he was trying to hold it together. He nodded, his lips pressing together.
Caitie, on the other hand, was visibly crying. “That’s beautiful,” she told them. “I’ll tell everybody Alyssa Jay is here, weighing six pounds, and that she’s a beauty.”
“Are you sure?” James asked her, his voice scratchy.
“I’m certain.” She smiled at him and left the room.
“Would you like to hold her now?” Harper asked James.
“That’s a great idea,” Ellie said. She’d been making notes on the laptop in the corner. “We encourage skin to skin with the father, too. It’s perfect for bonding.”
She watched as James unbuttoned his shirt, leaning over to lift Alyssa from her arms. Carefully, he pulled their tiny baby toward him, cradling her head and body as he warmed her against his bare chest.
A myriad of emotions passed over his face as he looked down at his daughter. Harper felt her eyes fill yet again as she watched him stare down with wonder, lowering his head to breathe her in.
“She’s beautiful,” he whispered. “Thank you.”
“I’m going to leave you two for a minute, okay?” Ellie said, dimming the lights in the room. “If you need anything I’ll be right outside. All you have to do is press the call light if you need me.”
She’d already told them that once they’d ascertained that both mother and baby were healthy, they’d be left alone to bond. Harper nodded and smiled at Ellie as she left.
And then they were alone. Their strange, ragtag family of three. Harper felt her heart clench as Alyssa nestled into James’s chest, her tiny lips opening and closing against his skin.
“I thought she’d cry more,” Harper said. “But she hasn’t.”
“Give her time.” James’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “She’s tiny. She hasn’t found her voice yet. But I’ve got a feeling she will and real soon.” His eyes met hers. “Then you’ll be wishing she was this quiet.”
What she really wished was that she could bottle this moment up. Yes, every part of her ached, and some parts were in a lot of pain. There was exhaustion and hunger eating at her like she’d never felt before. But that was all outweighed by the intense feeling of love that washed over her like a tidal wave. For her new baby, for James, for everything she’d ever wanted.
Why couldn’t it always be like this?