Prologue
BELLE
“Ford is dead.”
I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, but as they ricocheted around me, I knew they were the truth. The pain in my chest was so real I clutched at it, trying to make it disappear. It wasn’t working. Nothing was working. I didn’t even need to close my eyes to remember the sign that literally spelled out what was happening.
It wasn’t until I was in the car, and Curtis was driving away from my only real home, that I realized everything that had gone on around me. People had been wearing black, whispering were whispers because they were being respectful.
Trying my hardest to swallow the huge lump in my throat, I moved my hand down to my stomach. I could feel the loss down to my very bones, a loss so great I’d never be the same again. We would never feel the same.
I wasn’t a singular person any longer. I had someone else I had to think about. Someone who would be a living, breathing reminder of the man I didn’t think I could live without. A man I’d fallen so hard for that I wasn’t sure where he had ended and where I’d begun.
But now it was over.
Everything was over.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob. I wanted to scream. But I did none of those things. Instead, I kept a straight face and kept my gaze glued to the windshield as Curtis drove us out of town. All I could think about was getting as far away as possible. I was running away, and I wasn’t afraid to admit it. I didn’t care where we were going. I didn’t care about anything other than the sorrow consuming every part of me.
I was stuck—trapped inside my own head. My eyes burned, my body sagged, but still, I didn’t move an inch. I was afraid if I said or did anything that the carefully placed facade I’d managed to put on would break.
And I couldn’t break. Not yet. Not until I was alone.
Curtis cleared his throat, trying to gain my attention, but I didn’t acknowledge I’d heard him, not until he asked, “You sure you don’t want to go back to college?”
“I’m sure,” I told him, no hesitation whatsoever. My voice wasn’t my own. It sounded shattered, just how I felt. “You can drop me off at the station, and I can get a train…” To where I had no idea. I turned to face Curtis. “You don’t have to come with me.”
Curtis’ lips formed into a small smile, and his gaze flicked over to me. “You think I’m gonna leave you alone after everything that’s happened?” He paused, and my mind swirled. So much had gone on in the last month that it almost felt unreal, but Curtis was still here. Everyone else had left, but he was promising to stick by my side.
“I know, but—”
“No buts.” Curtis placed his hand over mine. I stared down at his long fingers, not feeling anything. “I say we take summer vacation early and go somewhere new.” I’d fought so hard to go back to college, refusing any special treatment from my dad. But I’d gone back and completed my finals. I still had one showcase left, but if I missed it, it wouldn’t affect my grade much. So Curtis’ words felt right. A vacation would allow me to piece together all the frayed puzzle pieces of my life, or at least start to make sense of them.
“Where could we go?” I asked Curtis, feeling his idea more and more the longer time passed.
“My mom has a cabin up in Five Oaks.” He let that sink in as he moved his hand off mine and took the turn for the highway. I’d only heard of Five Oaks once before, and then it was only because Dad took Asher camping there when he was ten. Asher had come home with tales of them sleeping in a tent and a possible bear siting in the woods. And just the memory of that conversation had me nodding my answer. “It’s a seven-hour drive, but no one will know you there. You can be invisible.”
Invisible.
“Okay,” I whispered, letting my body sag into the seat. My mind was made up. “Let’s go there.” I stared at Curtis, really stared at him, and even though it was on the tip of my tongue to ask him why he was helping me, I didn’t want to destroy the delicate plan we’d created. He was the only friend I had left. “Just for the summer,” I finished, and he nodded.
I’d go there for the summer, and then I’d go home and face the music. I’d create a plan of what I was going to do and…
And try not to think about Ford.
I closed my eyes, seeing his face as soon as I did, and that was all I needed to drift off to sleep and dream happy thoughts—for now.
Chapter One
FIVE MONTHS LATER
BELLE
I leaned back on the chair behind the lone counter and stared out of the store window. The words Five Oaks General Store were applied to it in a block, gold font in a semi-circle. I wasn’t sure how long ago the sign had been applied to the pane of glass. Probably when the store first opened in 1998, which was depicted in smaller letters with the word Established in front of it.
The name was an accurate description of the store, but it was far off about the owner. Leopold was an eccentric older man, with his fancy hats and colorful waistcoats, but above all, he was kind. When Curtis and I first arrived in Five Oaks, the plan had been to stay until the end of summer, but that had come and gone over two months ago…
And we were still here.
Leopold had been looking for someone to help out over the summer, but he kept me on by default. It was fun talking to all the locals and listening to them all gossip. I had no idea who half of
the people they were talking about were, but it took my mind off things.
I ran my hand over my growing bump and smiled sadly as a red truck drove by. Was I doing the right thing by staying away from home? I was eight weeks out from my due date, and I didn’t have a real plan in place. The two-bedroom, one-story cabin we were staying in wouldn’t have room for a newborn baby, but it was more than that. I’d made Five Oaks my temporary home, and the thought of going back to where I grew up terrified me, but not as much as being alone here and not knowing what I was doing with a tiny baby.
Ford would have attended every checkup with me. He would have been there every step of the way. But thinking about the what-ifs wouldn’t get me anywhere. It was a dream, a fantasy, which would never come true.
So I had to play with what I’d been dealt, which included lone visits to the local doctor’s office, the only doctor in town. She said everything was fine, and it was. Physically. But mentally? Mentally, I was a mess.
Originally, I’d told myself I was just coming here to sort through all my thoughts and then I’d leave, but all I’d done was push them down as far as they would go. It didn’t matter that my growing bump was a daily reminder of Ford, because as soon as his face appeared in my mind, I shooed it away, not prepared to deal with it.