Getting into a vehicle was something everyone did without a second thought. But I had to prepare myself each and every time. I had to put on a front and act like I was okay—that I hadn’t been inside a Humvee that drove over an IED. That I hadn’t been flung out of the metal box which was meant to keep us safe.
All I was focused on was making sure Elodie was okay, but in the process, I was realizing I still wasn’t okay. Most nights I was haunted by memories. Every day I was on alert and hyperaware of my surroundings. Which was why I blamed myself for what happened to Elodie. I should have known someone was lurking around. I should have known Knox wouldn’t let it lie. I should have known he was going to make a move. But instead, I’d been concentrating on helping Jax out with Al. I was trying to support other people, and in the process, the one person who I cared about most was hurt.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter and reversed out of the space, then drove around the front and on to the road. The drive back to my house whizzed by, and I worked on automatic as I went inside to pack up some things. I was in a haze, stuck inside my own memories, but now they were mixing in with memories of Elodie.
Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to center myself as I pulled in to the road Mom and Dad’s house was on. I’d only been gone just over an hour, but it already felt like a lifetime. I was on edge to get back to Elodie and felt like I had a clock ticking away, trying to hurry me to get us away from here.
I parked in the driveway and left our bags in the car as I exited. All I needed was to get Elodie in the car and then we could leave. We could be on the road and at the lake house by mid-afternoon.
The house was silent as I entered it, and a quick look in the living room and kitchen told me both Mom and Elodie were upstairs. I took the stairs two at a time and called, “Mom? Where are you?” I heard murmurings coming from the bathroom, so moved toward it. “Elodie? You in there?” I lifted my hand and knocked on the door, frowning at the silence. “Mom?”
“We’re in here, Asher,” Mom replied.
I grasped the door handle and started to turn it. “I’m coming in.”
“No!” I halted at Elodie’s voice, my stomach churning even more than it already had been.
“He’s not going to hurt you,” I heard Mom say, and I felt the blood drain from my face. Was she scared of me? Had I done something to—
“I’m going to open the door, Elodie,” Mom continued.
Silence rang through the air, and then the door opened, and I stumbled forward. I wasn’t sure what to look at or what to say, so I kept my mouth shut and my attention on my mom’s face. I hadn’t seen her look so sad since Belle had gotten hurt all those years ago.
“Mom,” I whispered, scared to talk too loudly. “I…what…”
“She needs you.” Mom placed her hand on my chest and over my racing heart. “She doesn’t know it yet, but she needs you more than she knows.” She pulled in a breath and handed me a towel, her gaze lighting with fire. “Go to her.”
I hesitated as Mom stepped back, but as soon as my gaze landed on Elodie’s face, I knew what I had to do. “Elodie?”
She shook her head and pulled her knees up to her chest. Her wet hair flattened against the side of her head and her chattering teeth caused her words to be muffled. “No, please don’t.”
“It’s me, sweetheart.” I took a couple of steps forward. “Look at me, Elodie.” She shook her head, refusing, but I wasn’t going to let her. It was too easy to hide away. Too simple to pretend nothing bad was happening. “Look at me,” I repeated, and that time, she lifted her head. “That’s it.” I leaned over and turned the water off. “It’s only me.”
Her gaze drifted over my face and down my body, then landed on the towel in my hand. “I can’t,” she sobbed out. “I can’t do it, Asher.”
“You can.” I leaned into the shower and held my hand out to her for a second time that day. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” I glanced at my hand, then back to her. “You know what to do, sweetheart.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and I could see the hesitation on her face. She was at war in her own mind, but only she chose who won. She needed time and space to work through it all, but she needed to understand that I was going to be right there with her every step of the way.
“I…” She blinked several times, almost as if she was trying to clear things from her mind. “I don’t want you to see.”
I frowned. “See what?”
“What he did.” She hiccupped a sob and a lone tear trailed down her face. “I hate it. I hate him. I…I hate me.”
I stepped into the shower and crouched down in front of her, making sure she heard each word as I said, “All I see is Elodie.” I lifted the corner of my lips into a small smile. “I see the girl who fights every day of her life. The girl who lived in a trailer. The girl who got out onto the stage most nights so she could get to where she wanted to be.” I inhaled a breath. “I see the girl who I fell for from the moment I set eyes on her.”
“Asher—”
“I see you, sweetheart. I see the other half of me.” Her hand connected with mine, and I wrapped my fingers around it. “I see the person who changes how I see the world.”
Chapter Six
ELODIE