12
JASPER’S POV
Pensiveness rose through me––or maybe that wasn't quite the right way to look at it. Perhaps it had been there the whole time, and I had been more successful than I realized at pushing it down and ignoring it, acting as if it wasn't there at all. But of course it was. I couldn't go through a life changing event like this and just be okay with it.
I wasn't great with too much change all in one go. It had always left me feeling more than a little overwhelmed, and now was no different. Maybe because I wasn't even sure if this was going to be a life changing time or not. Without us openly speaking about it, I didn't know whether this was going to become a real relationship––even though it seemed to be headed that way––or if it was just going to fizzle out once this job was over. That had me incredibly anxious.
"What's going on, buddy?" Phoenix asked as he took a seat beside me. "I know that there's something going on with you, so don't even try to deny it. That's why I switched shifts with Grant so me and you can have some time alone."
Phoenix had been my rock for a very long time. He got me way better than anyone else. Truth be told, the fact that this harem could involve my best friend as well as the woman who had well and truly captured me, made it that much more thrilling. If I was going to talk to anyone about this first, it was him.
"Yeah, I am going through a lot," I admitted. "I'm glad you swapped shifts so we could talk because you know what my brain is like. I'm driving myself crazy over here." I sighed heavily. "Billie. I mean, Billie, what more do I need to say?"
Phoenix grinned ear to ear. "Yeah, I can see that. In all the time that I've known you, I have never seen you so lit up over a woman before."
"Can you blame me?" I chuckled. "She really is something else, isn't she?"
"Oh yeah." Phoenix drew in a deep breath. "No one has ever gotten under my skin like she has. She's just... well, it isn't just her beauty, is it? There's so much more to her than that. She's fiery and exciting, skilled and sexy, intelligent beyond compare."
Hearing Phoenix reflect my feelings made my heart skip a beat. "Exactly yeah. And I mean, it seems like she likes us too, doesn't it?"
"Oh for sure." I didn't know exactly what had happened between Phoenix and Billie, or any of the other guys for that matter, but I knew what had happened between me and her, and it was phenomenal. I wanted more of that, so much more. "I get a feeling that she would be more than up for a harem with us all, but she hasn't said it, has she? And that worries me." I shook my head sadly. "Plus, there's the situation with Cody, isn't there? They have this history..."
"There's more," Phoenix warned me. "I don't know if you've heard about what happened last night and earlier on today as well? I know you've been busy."
Ice cold panic shot through me. "No, what happened?"
My spine stiffened as I stared at Phoenix expectantly. I had absolutely no idea what to expect from him, but it had to be bad, didn't it? It was written all across his face. I couldn't help but panic that this was going to put an end to everything.
"Well, I don't know if you have heard about Grant's suspicions," he asked with his head cocked to one side. "About Joey's true parentage?" I knotted my eyebrows together in confusion. Phoenix was probably expecting me to reply to this, but I couldn't. I was left speechless, absolutely speechless. "Well, Cody is his father."
"He is?" That unlocked the worry in my throat. "Oh, I didn't realize..."
Of course it made a lot of sense if I really thought about it, seeing as Billie and Cody had been together around the time that Joey was conceived. They were already a little family, and had been for a while, even if he didn't know it. I paused to examine my feelings for a little while, to try and work out just how this affected me. Much to my surprise, it didn't really. There was no spike of jealousy or anything. It was almost a warm sensation because I knew with utter certainty that if we were to go on to form a harem, there would already be a solid foundation. And yes, that kinda went for all of us.
"Wow, that's fascinating," I finally replied. "And they all know about it now?"
"Yep, Joey too." Phoenix nodded. "He took it really well. It seems to me like Joey has always been seeking that father figure, and he found it in us anyway. So to know that one of us is his biological family... well, it blew his mind."
A bright smile spread across my face. I was happy for Joey, and for Cody as well. I liked that they'd both found their place a little bit more in the world. That was awesome. I guess that was what I was seeking as well. A place to fit in.
"So, you think things are going to be good when we're done here?" I asked.
"Well, I don't know." Phoenix shrugged. "When we will be done with this job, I mean. It seems like it's not going to end any time soon."
"Do you know why?" I had to ask Phoenix. "I know we don't know much about Project Hammond, and for obvious reasons we can't know, but why are the Russians, assuming it is the Russians, so determined to kill everyone involved."
Phoenix hung his head low. "I don't know much, because obviously Stark only tells us on a need-to-know basis, but judging by the rumors I've heard over the years, it was a classified project that involved the Russian president's right-hand man." He shrugged helplessly. Much as we all completely understood why information had to be classified for everyone’s safety, that didn't make it any less frustrating––especially when it came to this. "I'm guessing that because the names of those involved in Project Hammond were leaked online, the Russian Government wants to show strength. It's almost like a sense of ego rather than revenge. They are trying to prove a point."
"Which is why you think the murders have been so brutal?"
As Phoenix nodded, a shudder raced down my spine. I hated anyone being killed in that manner, but the idea of Billie dying like that, it was sickening. And Joey as well. My fists curled up angrily by my side. There was no way that I would let anything happen to either of them. No way. None of us would.
"Hey, guys." I jumped as Cody's voice filtered from behind us. I thought that it was only me and Phoenix here. How long had Cody been there? Had he been listening in? And worse than that, Grant was there as well. "I'm glad you're both here. I've just had word from Stark on the satellite phone, and it isn't good news."
Uh oh. I didn't like the way any of this was going. Both guys looked freaked out. Me and Phoenix span around until both of them were facing us, to tell us whatever this dreadful news was. My heart was absolutely thundering in my throat.
"There's chatter of a big bounty being put on Billie and Joey's head," Cody confirmed. "Yep, both of them. It seems like the Russians found out about Billie's child, and they are so determined to finish off everyone involved in Project Hammond. They have realized now that Billie is in hiding and are throwing money around to deal with this, and that puts us in a dire situation."
"Oh shit!" I gushed as I clutched on to my chest. "What the hell?"
"Right, I know," Cody agreed. "Stark is even thinking about sending out some more guys to us to make sure no one can get to Billie, Joey, or the safe house."
I hated that. The idea of more people being here, wrecking our family dynamic. But if it kept Billie and Joey safe, then I wasn't going to argue against it. I couldn't. We had to be willing to do absolutely anything we could to keep them safe.
Tension rolled through my body. I could see the same feeling reflected in everyone else's face. We were all on the same page of fear here.
"So, what do we do?" I asked. No one else was speaking, so I felt compelled to break the silence. If I wasn't careful, it would swallow me up whole.
"Well, me and Cody have come down to help you guys scout the area," Grant joined in. "Because we can't be too careful here. We're going to have to give it our all. I know we haven't used them yet, but we have weapons with us, don't we? Maybe it's time to get them all out, just to be on the safe side."
This wasn't good. The more that everyone spoke and really expressed their fears, the more anxious I became. I might have been trained for this, and I might have also been in some of the most dangerous places in the world, fighting extremely dangerous battles, but this had my heart, and it was scary.
"I will get the weapons," Phoenix declared. "If you guys are taking a look around the perimeter." He looked at me curiously. "Jasper, do you want to stay in the house, keep a lookout here, check in on Billie and Joey..."
I nodded eagerly. Now that I could take control of. I didn't feel quite so powerless with that job at hand. "Yeah, I can do that."
Though as the other guys went their separate ways, it did feel like I was being torn apart a little, being pulled limb from limb. They had all become as important to me. I didn't want to lose anyone in all of this.
"We're not going to lose anyone," I whispered determinedly to myself. "We're not. We can't. We're going to band together to make this work."
If only I could convince myself as much as I wanted to, but I didn't have to focus on that right now. I needed to scour the safe house and check everywhere.
The house was quiet, and there were no new smells at all, but I didn't want to relax too easily. Not now. So even though I didn't really need to, I checked every single nook and cranny of the house, I wasn't going to leave anywhere untouched. I looked behind furniture and found places I hadn't even looked at in the house before, all in the name of being thorough. But nothing. There was nothing and no one. So that only left one thing to do, to check in on Joey and Billie.
I went to Joey's room first, to make sure the little boy was okay. I knew that was what Billie would want me to do. He was fine, sleeping peacefully, sweetly. I cocked my head to one side as I watched him for a few moments, admiring how cute he was. No kid deserved this, none at all. I honestly wasn't sure how the Russians could be okay with harming someone who had no involvement in Project Hammond at all. Obviously it was to hurt Billie, but still, it was messed up. I didn't like it.
They also didn't seem to understand that Billie and the other members of Project Hammond were only following orders. It wasn't their choice to do whatever they were ordered to do. But I suppose that didn't matter. These people didn't care.
"We will protect you," I promised Joey quietly. The last thing I wanted to do was wake him up in the middle of this drama. "You're going to be okay."
And then it was time to cross the hall to check in on Billie. I could already feel my pulse kicking up about ten notches, my breaths coming in sharp and ragged. By the time I leaned against the door frame to her bedroom, my whole body might as well have been soaked in desire. She just did something to me, something unexpected and brand new, and that had only intensified after our sexy session in the pantry.
Phew, I was hot under the collar just thinking about it. My God, did she honestly think something like that could happen between us, and I would be able to walk away from her? Not a chance. And now, watching her sleep peacefully, for the first time in ages, with her hair spilling out over the pillow, I knew I was in love.
Love.I hadn't ever allowed myself to accept love into my heart before, I was always way too afraid of where it would lead me. But life was different now, Billie was different, and there was nothing I could do to stop these feelings from building within me.
Eventually, because I heard the other guys coming back into the safe house, I headed back down to the kitchen where we reconvened to discuss where we were at. It wasn't much of a surprise to know that Grant and Cody hadn't found anything in the surrounding area. I was sure that we would have picked something up sooner, and truth be told, if the Russians could find Billie, this bounty wouldn't be an issue. But the amount of guns and knives that Phoenix brought into the house was more of a shock. Wow, we had a lot more on our side than I realized.
Was it just me who hoped it didn't come down to this though? I didn't want to get to the point where we had to use them. And not because I was against it, I'd already come to the stark conclusion that I would do anything to keep my little family here safe, but because if it got to this point, then Billie would be scared. Joey too.
"So, what now?" I asked, a little hopelessly. "Do we just... wait?"
Cody shrugged and thinned his lips into a determined line. "We just carry on as we were before, just more alert, I suppose. We don't want Billie to find out about the bounty because she might do something crazy like try and face this alone."
Yeah, I did not like that plan, and Cody was right––she might try and do that to keep us safe. We were all going to have to be tight-lipped for now...
* * *
The sun was shiningthrough the window before it was time for me to even think about getting some sleep. We'd been taking turns as usual, keeping an eye out on everything going on around us, but I hadn't managed to get any rest. There was something about the darkness that had me on edge.
But now, I was going to have to sleep because I needed to be on top form tonight. I didn't have any choice in the matter. However, I'd barely tucked myself under my bed sheets before Phoenix opened my door and slipped inside. He perched on the edge of my bed with a pensive look on his face.
I propped up onto my elbows and stared at him with confusion. He was the one who'd absolutely insisted that I needed to get some rest right away.
"Sorry to disturb you, Jasper, I just wanted to talk. If you don't mind."
"Of course. Whatever you need. What is it?"
"I've been worrying. And I know that isn't like me, especially when you hear what I've been worrying about, but I can't help it."
"I'm assuming that this isn't about the Russians then, because I would expect you to be worried about them right now!" My joke didn't land. This was serious.
He stared into my eyes. "I'm actually worrying about the idea of being in a harem, you know, because this is something we have tried once before."
Wow, now I was not expecting this. This wasn't something we ever really talked about. "And you're worried that it's going to go to shit like it did before?"
The reason we didn't talk about our former harem was because it happened so long ago. We were still in college at the time, so it was crazy to worry about it now.
"Well, Jasper, I have to worry about it, because I almost lost your friendship then. Seriously, that was so hard for me. I never want to go through that again."
I reached across and took his hand in mine. "We only almost fell out because we had our hearts broken," I reminded him. "And look at us, still friends years later. We were too young then, Phoenix. We were in college. Nowhere near smart enough to make any life long decisions like that. We rushed into it without even thinking about it. Looking back, we didn't even love the woman. We just thought we did."
"You think?" he asked me hopefully.
"Of course. Plus, there was no cohesiveness between any of us then. We didn't share the mutual respect that we have right now, did we?"
"Yeah... I suppose you're right."
I squeezed his hand a little tighter. "All we need to do is actually learn from that mistake, Phoenix, to make sure that we do better this time around. And we will. All we need to do is communicate better." That gave me a good idea. "Hey. Why don't I cook us all a special dinner tonight? We can almost make it like a date. Then we can have an adult discussion about what we all want, can't we? We can finally communicate and make sure that we're all on the same page."
This cheered Phoenix up, and I had to admit that it made me feel a lot better as well. If we talked about this now, before everything went to shit, then we could all feel much better if we ended up having to fight for our lives. Knowing that we had something powerful to fight for would be the best thing for us all.
Plus, I loved the idea of cooking for our date night. That would be a lot of fun as well.