“For that I apologize,” I say to the door. “You are not a whore, and I shouldn’t have been discussing you in the manner that I did. I’m sorry.” I’m also not good with apologies. They weren’t something I gave freely.
“You told them that I was yours until I gave you my virginity! You told them I was a virgin and that I was giving it to you, and… how could you say those things? Why would you say that?”
The pain in her voice stabs at my gut. “I know it sounded crass. But you have to understand that in that situation, and with the dynamics of the room, I couldn’t exactly tell them that the reason I’m keeping you around is because—Well, I couldn’t show all my cards.”
I couldn’t exactly confess to a room full of ruthless assholes that I’ve grown to care for the girl. Her safety and protection means a great deal to me now. And that I like the idea of keeping her around for more reasons than the terms of a stupid contract. In fact, if I was being truly honest, before the full situation came to light, I wasn’t sure I was ever going to take her virginity because I didn’t want to risk her walking out my door. Keeping her contractually bound was becoming my intent long term.
“And I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want any of the Morellis to know about me. You decided to go against my wishes. I didn’t want to be thrown into their world. Especially like this. If it was ever going to happen, I wanted it to be on my terms. When I was ready.”
I lean my shoulder on the doorjamb. “That wasn’t a realistic request. Whether you like it or not, this little secret of Bryant’s is just too valuable for people to sit on. You became a very expensive pawn in a very dangerous game the minute you and Sasha revealed your identity. You flew too close to the sun, my dear.”
There’s a long pause on her end, and just as I get ready to open the bathroom door and enter, she asks, “So now what? Who did you sell me off to after I stormed out? I’m guessing you negotiated to the highest bidder.”
“No decision was made tonight. Gio Ralston left telling me that the Constantines will not be happy. The Morellis left with a warning to me that I fucked up and better make it right. And the Sidorovs left… Well, they left drunk on expensive whisky.”
“So what does that mean?” Her voice is softer, the anger in her tone seems to have evaporated.
“I don’t know.” I remove my jacket and toss it on the nearby chair. “But I know one thing. Right now, this very moment, you’re here. And I’m not ready to let you go.” Silence is all I hear. “May I come in?”
“That depends,” she answers.
“On what?”
“If you’re truly sorry.”
“I am.”
“And…” there’s a pause.
“And what?” I ask.
“Will there be consequences for me going against your wishes?”
I can’t help but chuckle as I open the door. “Oh most definitely.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lyriope
Fleeing upstairs and hiding in the bathroom could only protect me from Nick’s wrath for so long. As much as I love the wonderful antique claw-footed bathtub of my private bath, such a luxury I never thought I’d get to use, I took a bath with dread of what lies ahead for my future.
I feel a draft before I hear the door of the bathroom creak. I open my eyes to see Nick moving to kneel down behind me. I expect to see rage, but instead see the kind side of him I’ve been lucky enough to see since arriving in his home. “Let me help you wash your hair.”
I swallow hard. The tenderness from someone whom I had only seen show pure dominance hours before spins the emotions inside me to havoc.
I’ve realized that Nick is analytical in everything he does, seeming to weigh everything, refusing to let anyone in on what he’s thinking… much less feeling. Nick has yet to tell me when he plans to claim my virginity, and my body doesn’t want to wait any longer.
The unknown, the curiosity, the cruel game is almost unbearable.
But I can see that some of his cruelty is a performance, just like the shows he puts on in Wonderland. Make-believe. A distortion of reality.
Is this the real him? Washing my hair, offering me comfort, wanting to give me pleasure?
I want to find out. I want to be his.
And I’m curious what that means exactly.
I want him to claim me fully.
And I’m curious as to how that will feel, how it will change me.
My curiosity is maddening, and I think that’s been his intention this entire time.
He’s a man who exudes such power, such strength, and now… he’s showing a softer side by wanting to wash my hair, one of such gentle actions, I don’t know how to respond.