“What did I miss?” Bella asked, brushing her wet hair over her shoulder as she stepped into the kitchen.
She sat down at the table where we had laid out her meal and began to pick at the fruit. Her shoulders were slumped and there were bags under eyes. Despite her shower, she still looked tired. It probably had to do with the fact that she had to give the spell twice before receiving it herself. That must have taken a lot out of her.
.
I sat with her. “Not a lot, I suppose... but we’re pretty excited about what these tattoos might do for us.”
Bella glanced between Courtney and me. “I’m glad,” she said. She popped a blueberry in her mouth and chewed on it a bit before swallowing it down with juice. “It was a risk... performing such magic, but I hoped the results outweighed the potential damage.”
“You did the right thing,” I reassured her. I looked up at Courtney. “We’ve been talking about what I can do now that we have the extra level of protection.”
“What you can do?” Bella asked. Chunks of strawberry nearly fell out of her mouth but she caught them.
“Yes... well...” I took a breath, not sure how I was going to explain this to her.
“Just tell her,” Courtney said simply. As if it was so easy.
“Tell me what?” Bella asked, glancing between the two of us. Her movements were sharp, jerky. “Did something happen while I was healing?”
I shook my head. “Not exactly,” I said. I sucked in a breath. I just needed to tell her, like Courtney said. “I’ve decided that I’m going back.”
Bella’s eyes widened. “Back? To the magic realm? Why? How?’
The panic in her voice was strong and I understood that she would be worried for me. After all, anyone who loved me who would be.
“Why? Because I... we...” I sighed, trying to find the right words. I cleared my throat and gestured to the three of us. “We were not meant to be hidden in the shadows, forgotten and excluded. We are worth so much more than that, and I refuse.... refuse to be treated like some criminal that needs to be silenced and killed off. And I refuse to let the same thing happen to both of you.”
“But Ava...” The warning was clear. She was the voice of reason, the calm part of my mother that had been perfectly replicated into Bella. She looked down, twisting her fingers.
“Bella, no.” I shook my head, my lips pressed tightly together. “I am not Mother. I have not chosen this, nor am I deciding to just... hide for twenty years. I’ve already done that. We’ve missed out on so much, all because Mother chose our father. A man she couldn’t have. A man whom it is literally illegal to reproduce with. And then, we were punished because of it. We had to be the ones hidden away because of her choices. Because of the world we came from. I will not sit by and lose my life from her misguided decisions.”
My heart pounded angrily in my chest and I stared Bella down.
“But the danger, Ava...” She wouldn’t look at me. She knew I wouldn’t be pleased that she was still arguing.
“Yes, it’s dangerous,” I admitted. I wasn’t going to hide that from her. “Which is why I will be going alone.”
“No!” Courtney jumped up from her seat. Her body was squared towards me, her hands balled into fists.
I stared at her. Her breath was heavy, her lips curled into a snarl. I was ready to fight back, to snap, to yell if I had to. But I stopped myself. I took a breath and tried to remind myself that if I was in her position, I would be acting the same way.
“Yes,” I said calmly. “It is not time for you two to come out of the closet yet. You have no experience in the magic realm, no knowledge yet, and if I am captured and killed, at least they’ll never know about you.”
“You barely know the magic realm,” she snapped. “How long were you there for before coming back? A couple of weeks, at most? Don’t talk to me like we’re different.”
My forehead pinched. My defenses were slowly rising. I sucked in a deep breath. It was getting more difficult not to take the bait.
“I know,” I said finally. I looked between them. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. I wasn’t there for a while, but I learned a lot anyway. If you want to be a part of their world, blend in. Don’t contact our father. Make up some story about being related to Aunt Alison, and just make do with what you can get. I...” I swallowed hard.
This time, I focused on Courtney. “I tried too quickly, pushed for too much, too fast. I know that now. I’d expected our father to want to know me, but he... he doesn’t want that. Not now, anyway. It’s too dangerous for him.” I looked over at Bella. “So please, let me go... let me do what I need to do. For myself, for our future. And if I fail, you need to go on. Smarter that I was.”
“But...” Bella’s voice trailed off and when I glanced over at Courtney, she was swallowing hard amidst glassy eyed tears.
I was surprised. I thought for sure she would be angry. I smiled as brightly as I could, knowing full well that if Courtney or Bella were delivering this news to me, I would be in full throttle fight mode trying to stop them, just as they were trying to with me. I needed to let them know that I was all right, that we would all get through this, no matter how difficult.
As much as they wanted to help, the burden wasn’t on them. I had gotten us into this mess. I was the first born. The leader. I wanted only the best things for them.
Even so, my throat clogged with tears as I glanced at the two people that I loved the most in the world.